'A stranger told my toddler she was too old for the boob'

“I quizzed her on why, and she explained that if my daughter told people she was still getting boob, that people might be suspicious."

Two mums have spoken out against the judgment they’ve received from both family members and the public about their breastfeeding issues.

The mums shared their stories with Kidspot for National Breastfeeding Week to try to break down some of the stigma that still remains about feeding your child in public.

Mum Brianna* said she’d experienced judgment from her family about breastfeeding in public.

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Her son John* was born in the lower percentile for weight, and soon had feeding issues meaning Brianna’s stress levels were through the roof.

“I was under a lot of stress and dealing with mental health issues, and I just wanted to feed my baby,” the mum told Kidspot.

“I have very large breasts and a very small baby, and he was born in the summer, so I didn’t really care about anyone else around me, I just wanted to make sure my son was getting his food.

“Sometimes I’d have to take my shirt off depending on what I was wearing, and I didn’t always have time to find a restroom because my son would be screaming and I’d be panicked and on edge.

“My mum started telling me I couldn’t feed in public, or pointing out there were people eating here who could see, and that I was making them feel uncomfortable.

“She’d come up to me and try to pull my shirt out over his head to cover me a bit which added to my stress.

“Whenever I was out with her I found myself worry about how she’d fuss over me, and it became easier to just take myself away from her.”

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One mum said she'd felt judged by both her mother and mother-in-law when breastfeeding. Picture: iStock

"It’s not just as simple as putting him on for me"

Brianna told Kidspot her mother was definitely trying to help, and was a “lovely person”, but ended up causing her more stress.

It didn’t end there though, as the new mum was given a shock when she breastfed at her mother-in-law’s place.

“I went to her house on my own with John, and I told her about the problems we’d be having with feeding, but she’d downplay them,” she said.

“One day I got there and went to feed on the couch, and she’d made this bit of a material with a strap designed to go around my head and cover the baby.

“She put it on me, and my instant thought was ‘get it off me, it’s so hot’. I couldn’t see my baby, and I needed to see him properly to make sure he’d latched, but I felt like I couldn’t say anything.”

Brianna told Kidspot she had too many things to think about while feeding her son to have to worry about reactions from other people.

“I have to worry about his latching, I have to hold my breast to feed - it’s not just as simple as putting him on for me,” she said.

“Mums aren’t usually worried about other people potentially looking at them, they’re worried about feeding their baby.

“While I was learning to breastfeed, I didn’t care about people watching me, but I did care about them seeing me flustered and looking like I didn’t know what I was doing.”

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Breastfeeding can be hard for any mum, let alone those who struggle with latching or milk flow. Picture: iStock

A stranger told my daughter to "leave mummy alone"

Another mum, Rachel, shared her experience of being shamed by a stranger for breastfeeding her two-year-old daughter Imogen.

“First of all, I didn’t feel shame or humiliation despite the attempts of others, but I did feel angry and such a sense of defensiveness and protectiveness for my daughter,” she said.

“On her second birthday I was feeding Imogen at a family-friendly winery. This was shortly after my toddler had been eating cheese and bikkies and drinking some grape juice.

“She snuggled in for a feed and we were minding our own business when a woman at the next table approached my daughter and told her she was a ‘big girl now’ and that it was ‘time to leave mummy alone’.”

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Rachel and her daughter Imogen were harrassed by an older woman while breastfeeding. Picture: Supplied

"She said people would get suspicious"

Rachel said the woman then turned to her and advised her it was best for her to stop breastfeeding her toddler and she “didn’t want her telling anyone”.

“This bemused me, as my little one is quite the advanced talker and has been for some time,” she said.

“I quizzed her on why, and she explained that if my daughter told people she was still getting boob, that people might be suspicious.

“I found that particularly offensive having worked in child sexual abuse investigations for many years.

“This woman’s unsolicited advice was that my girl was too old to be breastfed. I wish I had told her she was too old to be giving unsolicited and incorrect, insensitive advice.”

*Names changed.

Originally published as 'A stranger told my toddler she was too old for the boob'