James Weir recaps Farmer Wants A Wife 2023 finale: the reunion

Are the Farmer Wants A Wife couples still together? One month on, it’s finally revealed — “struggles” and all. James Weir recaps.

Sam Armytage musters up the drama on the FWAW reunion.

In Monday night’s third instalment of the Farmer Wants A Wife finale trilogy, we find out which couples have stayed together and if any of the city girls have wound up with broken hearts to match the broken limbs that two of them have somehow obtained from farm antics.

Our host Samantha Armytage is back, working overtime in the barn. She does her best to muster up some drama and tension.

It’s hard yakka.

JAMES WEIR RECAPS:FWAW finale part 1

JAMES WEIR RECAPS:FWAW finale part 2

All the farmers are here. Andrew, David, Brad, Matt and Brenton. We still don’t know which one’s which.

One-by-one, Samantha interviews each of them. Then there’s the big question: Are they still with their missus? Cue the grand entrance.

Up first is Farmer Brad, who says Clare hasn’t moved to the farm yet.

“It’s challenging. I think Clare would move tomorrow. But I’m a bit slower. And I wanna make sure we’re feeling very strong about each other,” he says.

Samantha knows we’re thirsty for some tension after eight weeks of wholesomeness on this show. She takes one for the team and probes.

“So you’re putting the breaks on? Where does this leave you two???” she furrows her brow.

But there are no flames to fan. Brad and Clare are still together. She stumbles out and they kiss. Turns out, she hasn’t been left with a broken heart. But she does have a broken ankle – probably from driving a tractor in stilettos.

“If she’s not annoyin’ me too much, I might go ring shoppin’,” Brad gushes.

Shakespeare couldn’t have written more beautiful dialogue.

Brad, do you take Clare to be your wife — in sickness and annoyance?

Next! Farmer Brenton.

Samantha immediately starts looking for smoke.

“Since we last saw you, you took Sophie back to the farm. Has it been a struggle?” she interrogates.

Brenton takes the bait.

“It was difficult once this experienced was finished and it’s just Soph and I in the house together,” he sighs. “Once the honeymoon period was over … it was sorta … different.”

Samantha leans forward. “The biggest question is, and I’m terrified to ask you … is Sophie here tonight?”

The sinister music starts to build. Brenton looks down in silence. Then he smiles.

“Yeah, Soph’s here,” he gushes.

Not only are they still together, but she’s also renovating his bathroom.

Their happiness is sickening.

First comes the Farmer Wants A Wife appearance. Then comes The Block.

We move onto Farmer Matt, who ended the show with Olivia. They’re still together.

“A little bird told me … Olivia, did Matt give you some jewellery?” Samantha smiles excitedly at the rumour.

Jaws drop around the barn. Is it true? A proposal? After just a few weeks?

Olivia reaches up to her neck and grabs the gold pendant on her chest. “It’s a sunflower!” she beams.

Everyone slumps back into their chairs.

Samantha can’t help but groan. “A … necklace? I thought it might’ve been a ring.”

Indeed, a ring would’ve made for a better promo.

We kick Matt and Olivia and their weird sunflower necklace off the sofa and bring up Andrew. We’ll just cut right to the chase: He’s still with Claire.

She hobbles out on crutches. Like the other Clare, this Claire doesn’t have a broken heart but she does have a broken leg.

Andrew’s gonna have to wheel her around the farm in a trailer for a few weeks.

And finally: David and Emily.

You two still good?

Yep.

And more interestingly: no broken bones.

No broken hearts or bones.

Originally published as James Weir recaps Farmer Wants A Wife 2023 finale: the reunion