No Hard Feelings: ‘Woman as sassy prostitute’ drama astoundingly unfunny

Even Jennifer Lawrence’s easygoing charisma can’t save this entirely uncredible tale.

Jennifer Lawrence and Christian Galvis in No Hard Feelings. Picture: Alamy/The Times

The Eighties teen sex comedy is back! That intrinsic “woman as sassy prostitute” energy of Weird Science, Risky Business, Private Lessons and Loose Screws has been revamped here for the protagonist, co-producer and Oscar winner Jennifer Lawrence in an error of professional judgment.

She plays sexy yet broke Maddie, who lives on Long Island, is desperate for cash and so is hired by rich helicopter parents Laird (Matthew Broderick) and Allison Becker (Laura Benanti) to deflower their nerdy son, Percy (Andrew Barth Feldman).

The twist this time round is that Maddie has more agency than Kelly LeBrock in Weird Science and, as written by John Phillips (he also wrote Dirty Grandpa), is an allegedly formidable character.

So, after a skinny dip, Maddie fights three drunken students while naked in an “outrageous” full-frontal sequence that seems designed to inspire a million memes but is enfeebled by the sleaziness of the stunt.

Maddie’s other trait is that she’s adorably stupid – she doesn’t know how to pronounce “Laird”, has never heard of anime and cannot walk in Rollerblades. Only Lawrence’s charisma pulls the character back from the cusp of old-fashioned “b-word” (bimbo) territory.

The premise is never once credible and the director and co-writer Gene Stupnitsky (The Office US) peppers this astoundingly unfunny film with implausible set pieces – Maddie being driven through a beach barbecue while on fire – that have clip-worthy kudos and nothing else.

Plus, there’s some seriously regressive messaging in the wider narrative, where Percy is charged with “teaching” (or mansplaining to) Maddie about the hollow disappointments of casual sex.

And despite the movie’s apparent goal of rebooting the sex comedy for the modern era, the definitive scene remains Percy crying out in confusion, after an evening with Maddie at her most mercurial, “I don’t know what you want!”

Yes, women, as Freud would say. What do they want? To have sex with nerds. Obviously.

– In cinemas

The Times