Further to last week’s examination of the Australian argot, while I evaluate the vulgar examples you’ve sent to philadams@ozemail.com.au let’s move to the rhythmical topic of rhyming slang. Which in turn recalls my brilliant career as a songwriter. Hardly a threat to Porter, Hammerstein or the Gershwins, my lyrical output amounted to just a single song.
Long before the Seekers, Australia’s most beloved singing group was the Horrie Dargie Quintet – and Horrie so liked my lyrics he set them to music. His recording was entitled Give Me a Do-and-Die With a Dash of Dead Horse. As those fluent in the Australian language will know, this translates as “Give me a meat pie with a dash of (tomato) sauce” and could have replaced God Save the Queen when Gough Whitlam rejected the popular choice of Waltzing Matilda because he thought it inappropriate for state funerals. Thus lumbering us with that lamentable and unsingable dirge Advance Australia Fair.
Rhyming slang is, admittedly, not entirely ours. It derives from the Cockney, dating back to the early 19th century. But with Australian embellishments it became as Aussie as the black stump, the bunyip, back ‘o Burke and billy tea.
As this column cited last week After Dark for shark and Jimmy Dancer for cancer are prime examples. Here are some others that might appeal and/or jog your memory. And you may observe that they’re still being minted.
Trouble-and-strife: wife. Cheese and kisses: ditto. Apples and pears: stairs. Adam and Eve: believe. Almond Rocks: socks. Aristotle: bottle. (Rhyming slanguage can then be abbreviated – e.g. to Apples and Aris). Tommy tank: wank. Billy lids: kids. Tin-lids: ditto. Blundstone (the boot): ute. Joe Blake: snake. Bag of fruit: suit. Noah’s Ark: dark. Dressing gown: ya clown. Adrian Quist: pissed. Oliver Twist: ditto. Al Capone: telephone. Dog and bone: ditto. Eau-de-cologne: ditto. Barry Crocker: shocker. Reg Grundies: undies.
Billy Hunt (a once famous Australian cricketer): ****. Rex Hunt: ditto. Hard hit: defecation. Britney Spears: beers. Bugs Bunny: money. Bulahdela (NSW town): sheilas. Charley Wheeler: ditto. Burke and Wills: dills. Butcher’s hook: crook. Captain Cook: look (Usually abbreviated to ‘have a captain’s) Camberwell and Kew: spew. China plate: mate. Comic cuts: guts. Corn cob: snob. Dad ‘n Dave: shave. Dapto dog: someone from the Mediterranean. Merri Creek: Greek. Darby and Joan: all alone. Boat race: face. Bob Hope: soap. Brace and bits: mammaries. Bread crumb: bum or derro. Fiddly-did: pre-decimal for quid. Oxford scholar: dollar. Frog and toad: road. Froth and bubble: trouble. Germaine Greer: ear. Ham and eggs: legs. Khyber Pass: buttocks. Loaf of bread: head. Mal Meninga: finger. Onkaparinga: ditto. Warwick Farm: arm.
Goanna: piano. Gregory Peck: cheque. Harold Holt: do a bolt. Hey diddle diddle: middle. Pen and ink: stink. Polly Waffle: brothel. Porky Pie: lie (usually abbreviated to simply porky). Rock and roll: dole. Rubbity dub: pub. Septic tank: Yank. Sky rocket: pocket. Snake’s hiss: piss. Steak and kidney: Sydney. Tea leaf: thief.
Send me any others that come to mind. Or make one up. See you down the frog and toad.
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