Like cockroaches, social media influencers have survived the pandemic

Some highlights of the pandemic era? The Queensland caterer who was asked to provide food for 300 people in exchange for a few posts from a few bloggers. Picture: iStock

Urban myth has it that only cockroaches survive a nuclear war. Let’s update that: cockroaches and “influencers”. I’m not comparing Covid-19 to the bomb on Hiroshima, but there are plenty in the Victorian restaurant and hospitality industry who have been wiped out by this year’s events. And in the circumstances you might have thought – for the industry’s woes have been widely canvassed – this would have put an end to the temerity of the so-called influencer and his/her begging bowl. And yet.

How many times have I heard the phrase “I can’t believe this is still happening” over the past six months? You’d better believe it: unfortunately, Covid hasn’t killed off the grafters and grifters of the social media world who reckon publishing partisan posts on behalf of a hospitality business is somehow contributing to a better world. They pretty much crawled out of the muck heap and started asking for free stuff right after the first lockdown, and haven’t stopped since.

For those of you not aware of my little #couscousforcomment personal crusade, here’s a quick backgrounder. Back in 2016, a cheeky bar and restaurant operator in Sydney, Tim Philips, took the possibly unprecedented step of publishing on Instagram a request for freebies he’d received. In return for the free stuff, the grifter promised to post so-called “reviews”. Being a smartarse, Philips published the request alongside a barbed response that went, if I may still use the expression, viral. When I called Tim about it, he called it “couscous for comment” (in Sydney, the shadow of commercial radio’s cash-for-comment scandal lingers). The hashtag was born and gosh, have we had some fun with it since.

It works like this: entitled little so-and-sos contact restaurants/bars/cafes etc begging for free food in exchange for which they will “review” the place via their social media, which they claim will “drive business”. Smart operators see through all this: the audiences are usually irrelevant, often artificial. For my part, I’m offended that these people confuse advertising with reviews. The restaurateurs and I have overlapping agendas, so they often share this stuff with me. In turn, I do my best to name and shame. It’s a kind of a sport and it’s been good for my Instagram stats (I can’t afford to buy followers).

Some highlights of the pandemic era? The Queensland caterer who was asked to provide food for 300 people in exchange for a few posts from a few bloggers. The coffee shop that received this: “Hi guy’s I really like the selection of quality products you hold at the moment I’m after doing a collaboration with a company as yourself showcase your product alongside my food posts and day to day posts and it’s going to be my honour to add you to my sponsors list” (sic). And another place that received this veiled threat: “I will look at giving you some free exposure on my YouTube channel in exchange for a free run of your shop... If this is not suitable for you that is fine but I will be contacting local competitors and I don’t want you to miss out.”

But this #couscousforcomment post by a small cake business nailed it. “So… after having a pretty sad week, with another huge wave of cancelled and postponed events due to Covid-19, I’ve had a big, ugly collab request land in my inbox. I always feel like collab requests are insensitive at the best of times, but in the middle of a pandemic when small businesses (and the hospitality industry as a whole) are struggling… Are you serious?” Deadly.

So, they haven’t gone away. They haven’t learnt any sense of what’s appropriate. They still believe they’re entitled to free stuff in exchange for what? Unmeasurable “influence”?

The best way to deal with all this is to actually make some couscous – to go with a nice lamb tagine, perhaps? – and there is only one technique you need to know: Neil Perry’s, from The Food I Love (Murdoch Books). Combine 100g butter, 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil and 400ml boiling water in a bowl. Cover with foil and stand for 2 minutes. When the butter is melted, add 400g couscous while stirring. Leave until the liquid is absorbed, then fluff with a fork. Transfer the couscous to a tea towel or muslin-lined steamer basket. Set over a saucepan of boiling water and steam for 20 minutes, or until tender and cooked through; serves 4-6.