Jeremy Clarkson review: Mazda MX-30 R-EV Makoto versus Honda HR-V 1.5 i-MMD Advance Style

Mazda MX-30 R-EV Makoto

In a break from the virtually ceaseless fun at this year’s Bahrain Grand Prix I found myself enjoying breakfast with two proper old car enthusiasts, the former Formula One team boss Paul Stewart and Pink Floyd’s drummer, Nick Mason. And they were busy telling me how, the ­previous afternoon, they’d attempted to drive some kind of snazzy ­supercar to the track.

“It sort of wouldn’t go properly,” Nick explained. “So I pushed one of the buttons, which engaged what sounded like a kind of whirlpool in the boot.” Paul then explained that the complexity had forced them to give up and use a taxi instead. And so it was that we came up with the idea of a podcast called “Old men being confused by modern cars”.

And I think I have just the right car for our first episode – the Mazda MX-30 e-Skyactiv R-EV Makoto. We shall begin with Paul and me getting in the front and then watching Nick attempting to get into the back, which is impossible because the front seats don’t tilt forwards. He will then discover that there are back doors but that they don’t have handles. Well, they do, but they’re on the inside of the car.

Inside the Mazda MX-30

We shall then set off, except we won’t because the car isn’t making a noise. So does the car think it’s at a set of lights? Is the stop-start ­active or is it stopped because I haven’t told it to start? And there’s the first chat we can have. “What was the matter with an effing key?”

Interestingly you can buy the MX-30 e-Skyactiv R-EV Makoto in two forms. One is pure electric and has a range of almost exactly half what you tell your friends it will do. The other is also pure ­electric, but it has a small petrol-engined generator that is used to charge the batteries. I tried the one with the generator because I thought it might be interesting. Mazda persevered with the idea of Wankel rotary engine propulsion long after everyone else realised that, while there’s a lot of smoothness, there’s also a lot of thirst and, after a short while, a lot of banging and clattering as the rotor tips wear out. Anyway, here they are, persevering again, only this time with a titchy 830cc unit.

What was it like? Dunno. I couldn’t make it begin. I pushed every button and prodded every lever, and just had to assume it would start when it felt the need – not when I did.

Soon I felt the need. I was heading along a lovely piece of road and in front was a slow-moving Honda Jazz. So I thought I’d overtake it. This turned out to be impossible. And when I got home I found out why. The Mazda MX-30 e-Skyactiv R-EV Makoto (what was the matter with L and GL and Super?) has a top speed of 140km/h.

So I decided that the Mazda would not be a very good idea for old people like Nick, Paul and me because we are old, so we prefer cars that are faster than bicycles.

Happily, the next day there was another car in the drive. This has a name so long it needs three pieces of punctuation – the Honda HR-V 1.5 i-MMD Advance Style. Everything else about it, however, was quite dull.

Inside the Honda HR-V 1.5 i-MMD Advance Style

And that made it perfect for a trip I had to make the next day, to Cirencester to meet some Liberal Democrat councillors. Liberal Democrats, I suspected, would love the idea of a boring Honda hybrid and would immediately give me everything I wanted.

I was nearly late for the meeting. Compared with the Mazda, the Honda is a rocket ship; but compared with the olden days the performance is dismal: 0 to 100km/h in 10.7 seconds and a top speed of 170 km/h. From a car that has three motors.

But what about economy? Well, this is perfect material for the podcast because I have no idea how many kilometres it will do per litre of fuel. According to the Honda blurb it does 61.4 somethings on “Low-FC” and 39.8 on “Extra High”. Extra high what? I literally have no idea.

What I do know is that it has a CVT gearbox. Carmakers flirted with this stepless system 30 years ago and most realised quite quickly that it simply didn’t work. But Honda has tried again. And it still doesn’t work. You put your foot down, the 1.5-litre petrol engine roars its head off and then, very slowly, you start to move. It’s like the clutch is permanently slipping. And it sounds like someone’s ­making a cowboy movie under the bonnet.

As I approached Cirencester I needed to engage Lib Dem-friendly stealth mode, and I had no idea how to do this. But I had heard that if you drive very slowly, only silent electrical drive is used. So I pulled into their car park at 2km/h and they were very friendly to me, which meant the car had done its job.

There were other things to like. Mazda has festooned the interior of its MX-30 e-Skyactiv R-EV ­Makoto with all manner of funky, Instagram-friendly details such as “vegan leather”, which is impossible, and something called “repurposed denim” – which is barely even a thing on the internet. And I suppose that’s right and proper for young people who might be interested in such a slow car, because they have no real job and find punctuality offensive.

Honda, meanwhile, has been more straightforward with the HR-V 1.5 i-MMD Advance Style. So apart from a few buttons that made no sense and a glass screen that doesn’t work as well as old-fashioned buttons, it’s all quite normal. Except you really can feel the quality. It’s tangible.

I’m not saying the Mazda is badly made. Mazdas aren’t badly made. But a Honda gives you a sense that it’ll “see you out”, as my grandfather used to say when he bought a new suit.

And I’m still not interested, I’m afraid. These cars may be perfectly in tune with the times, electrical, inoffensive and blessed with all the things that matter these days. Such as connectivity. But my God they are dreary. Yes, they will convey you to wherever you want to go, and keep you warm and dry if it rains. But so will a bus shelter.

I don’t know how fast they go round corners, and even if I cared, which I don’t, you could bet your bottom dollar that there will be a safety feature to slow you down. In the same way there are safety features to remind you of the speed limit and to take control of the steering if sensors think you’ve had an aneurysm. Yes, these features can be turned off, but only young, tech-savvy people can do that. And young, tech-savvy people don’t want to go round corners quickly. Because of a whale, I think.

We could discuss this when our podcast launches. Which will be when we’ve worked out what a podcast is.

Mazda MX-30 R-EV Makoto

ENGINE: 830cc rotary engine, petrol, plus electric motor

PERFORMANCE: 0-100km/h 9.1 seconds

JEREMY’S RATING: ★★★

Honda HR-V 1.5 i-MMD Advance Style

ENGINE: 1.5- four-cylinder petrol plus two electric motors

PERFORMANCE: 0-100km/h 10.7 seconds

JEREMY’S RATING: ★★★