I want a pony: Ford Mustang 2.3 EcoBoost car review

What’s a Mustang without the V8?

It’s the Mustang EcoBoost convertible, so called because it has a 2.3-litre turbocharged four-cylinder engine.

Every day, thousands of people take delivery of a new BMW or Audi or what have you, and I don’t doubt they’re very pleased. But for a great deal less money they could have driven away in a Mustang. The American icon. Steve McQueen with numberplates.

The Mustang costs less than two-thirds of what BMW charges for an M4. And it’s not like the Ford is equipped like a cave. It has rain-sensing this and dark-sensing that and electric everything and a system that lets you spin the rear wheels and make smoke while the front brakes are locked. And spin they will: under the bonnet is a big, American 5-litre V8. It’s not the most sophisticated engine; often it feels as though it’s made from rock and powered by gravel, but it delivers the goods.

When you drive the Mustang, you are left wondering: what’s going on? Is BMW being a profiteering bastard, or is Ford paying its workers in beads? How can it sell a 5-litre sports coupe for $60,000 when Jaguar, for example, charges more than twice that for almost exactly the same thing?

Well, now we have the answer. Europe’s independent safety testing body recently gave the Mustang a two-star rating out of five, the lowest rating for any mainstream car it’s tested for nearly 10 years. It found that people in the rear would slide under their seatbelts in a frontal impact, that the airbags inflated insufficiently and that it lacked the sort of sophisticated braking system fitted to even the Fiesta these days. That is why the bells-and-whistles V8 Mustang costs so much less than any rival: it’s just not as safe. So I guess you gotta ask yourself one question, punk. What do you want? A system that lets you do burnouts at the lights? Or a head?

On the face of it, the answer is simple. You want a head. You want the safest car you can buy. But do you? I smoke, drink and jaywalk. I try to mend electrical equipment. I fire firework rockets across lakes. At work I put myself in tricky spots to get a laugh. Have you met anyone who says, “No, let’s not build a swing over that river. Let’s go to the library instead because it’s safer”?

Which brings me back to the Mustang. Yes, it’s not going to look after you very well if you crash into a tree. So here’s an idea. Don’t crash into a tree. There are two ways this could be achieved with the Mustang. Either you could concentrate the mind by replacing its airbag with an enormous spike, or you could buy the version I’ve been testing. It’s the Mustang EcoBoost convertible, so called because instead of a stone-age V8 it has a 2.3-litre turbocharged four-pot. That’s right. A four-cylinder Ford Focus engine… in a Mustang.

The figures aren’t as bad as you might expect. It has a top speed of 232km/h and reasonably brisk acceleration. But not so brisk that you risk finding out first-hand what a two-star safety rating means.

What’s more, you get a rear-view camera as standard, dual-zone air-conditioning, the burnout facility, keyless entry, DAB radio, USB and Bluetooth connectivity, selectable driving modes and every other whizz-bang you can think of.

To drive, it feels like a Mustang. Obviously, you don’t have the Steve McQueen offbeat burble, but, if I’m honest, you don’t get that in the V8 either. You do get a deep, bassy engine sound that suits the car well.

You also get several acres of bodywork. In America this is fine, but in Europe it can be annoying. Especially as the turning circle is woeful. But then you get out of the city and the Mustang does what it does best. It lopes along, eating up the miles without any fuss. And, because there are only four cylinders, it’s much less thirsty than the V8.

Best of all, though, are the admiring glances. People like Mustangs. They smile at you and let you out of junctions. That’s because we all know that behind the shouty noises, and bigness, it’s a gentle giant. A pussycat that thinks it’s a wild horse.

It really isn’t an out-and-out racer. It leans and it wobbles and it gets awfully wayward if you ask it to behave like a Porsche. But minding this is like buying a burger and then minding that it’s not a quail’s egg dipped in a pinch of celery salt. If you want a quail’s egg, you’ll need to spend twice as much.

The only real problem, as far as I can tell, is that while there’s not much in the way of exterior badging to say this is a 2.3-litre car, you know. And a Mustang without a V8 is like a chicken korma. Yes, it’s less likely to crash, and, yes, it’s cheaper and more economical, which means it’s the more sensible option. But who buys a Mustang to be sensible?

FAST FACTS Ford Mustang 2.3 Ecoboost

Engine: 2.3-litre turbocharged, four-cylinder petrol (233kW/432Nm)

Average fuel: 8.5 litres/100km

Transmission: Six-speed manual or automatic

Price: From $45,990

RATING: 3 stars