Mercedes-Benz S 560e review: it’s like a road-going private jet

Mercedes hybrid allows the corporate bigwigs to wallow in a cloud of smug rather than smog.

Mercedes-Benz S 560 E.

Every single thing that was taught on a Thursday morning at school didn’t go into my head. I’d be dimly aware that someone at the front of the class was droning on about Jane Austen or Adam Smith, but I wasn’t listening because, behind the cover of my books, I was reading the music mag Melody Maker. And then doing its crossword.

One Thursday morning, though, I didn’t do the crossword because I was consumed by a photo of Robert Plant and Jimmy Page descending the steps of Led Zeppelin’s private jet, accompanied by some extremely pretty hippie chicks in loon pants. And all I could think was: “What in the name of all that’s holy has been going on in that plane?”

That photo changed my life because it taught me that Austen and Smith would only get me into a suit and onto the conveyor belt of middle management. And I didn’t want that. I wanted to fly around in private jets. I’ll be honest: it worked out. I have used private jets on a number of occasions in the past 20 years and I’m sure that people who’ve seen me coming down the steps have thought, “I want some of that.” Except in Britain, naturally. There, what people think is: “I want to stop him doing that.”

Today, things are changing. The Duchess of Sussex was criticised for taking a private jet to attend her baby shower in New York. Leonardo DiCaprio has also been forced to ditch private jets after he was labelled an environmental hypocrite. And now there are private jet rental firms asking customers to plant trees and make green donations before signing on the dotted line.

I wonder. Will the world’s corporate giants do that? I know I won’t. I’m aware that private jet travel produces a huge amount of unnecessary CO2, and having given the matter a great deal of thought in the bath this morning, I’ve decided I don’t care. Because how much extra time do I buy the planet by using Ryanair instead – 0.0000001 seconds? Less?

All of which brings me to the Mercedes-Benz S 560e. The S-class has always been a road-going private jet. And this is a hybrid version that allows the corporate bigwigs to wallow hither and thither in a cloud of smug rather than smog.

Under the bonnet there’s a 3-litre V6 engine that is nowhere near big enough for a car of this type. So, to help it along, there’s also an electric motor. Together, they produce 350kW of power and 700Nm of torque. And that means this giant can hit 100km/h in five seconds.

There’s so much grunt from the giant hybrid power pack, in fact, that sometimes it’s difficult to set off without a bit of wheelspin. I’m not sure the big boss in the back will be impressed if this happens. So, chauffeurs beware.

There’s another issue, too. I’m not suggesting that anyone should drive fast on the motorway, but if you do, and especially if you get up to 160km/h, the ride in the back starts to get noticeably hectic. I fear this may have something to do with the sheer weight of the batteries and the extra motor.

Mercedes says you can do 50km on electric power alone. I only managed 34km before the normal engine entered the room with a discreet “ahem”, but even that’s not bad. Charging? Well, you can use a plug, or you can use the V6.

And, I’ll be honest, the back is a lovely place to be. Providing the chauffeur doesn’t go at a mental speed, which will cause your chins to wobble, there are in-built pillows, electrically extendable leg rests and so much room even I couldn’t touch the seat in front with my feet.

Best of all, though, my test car came with a DVD player. So I got into the back of the Benz, watched Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and arrived home thinking that man has not yet invented a better way of doing a journey like that. I’d brought my own sandwiches, my own wine, my own film and my own driver, and it was brilliant.

But I wonder. Bentley is said to be working on a hybrid like this and it’s likely that’ll be a – how can I put this? – less Germanic place to sit. But can cars like this really be even remotely ecological?

Buying the S 560e is a bit like flying to New York on a private jet then salving your conscience by buying a geranium. So I wonder if, actually, it’s best that you admitted you didn’t care and bought the AMG version instead.

Mercedes-Benz S 560e

Engine: 3.0-litre turbo-petrol V6 plus electric motor (350kW/700Nm).

Average fuel: 5.0 litres per 100km

Transmission: Nine-speed automatic, rear-wheel drive

Price: £97,560 (not available in Australia)

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars