Here's what happened while you were weekending
All the news that's fit to mint
All the news that's fit to mint
The crowd at the Coalition party’s official election launch chant “3 more years†as Scott and Jenny Morrison embrace former PMs John Howard and Tony Abbott & deputy PM Barnaby Joyce. @australian #auspol Earlier, the PM called on voters to re-elect him as he’s “just warming up.†pic.twitter.com/24BW85gBF9
— Olivia Caisley (@livcaisley) May 15, 2022
Wannabe homeowners among us are pretty excited, Labor not so much. The ALP's plan, the "Help to Buy" scheme, will give potential homeowners 40% of their deposit, but they'll then own 40% of your house as well.
And the guy who came up with compulsory super - ex Labor PM, now the Walter Matthau of Australian politics - Paul Keating isn't into it either. The super funds themselves, mostly run by unions, are happy to use the super to buy big buildings in CBDs and invest our hard-earned on shares that go up (but also go down), are also kicking up a stink.
Labor claim it will force up the price of houses further. The Liberals say that's not a thing.
What is certain is it sets up a final campaign week that'll feature fireworks, fun times and flare ups at the daily (shout a question, get reprimanded for doing so, only to have your question ignored, and then roused on again for pointing it out) leaders' press conferences.
While the Dozer was "only warming up" on Sunday, old mate Albo was across town in Brisbane promising a"$1bn advanced manufacturing fund'.
Yes. One Billion Dollars.
As he said, it's a plan to build more stuff here, since we kind of stopped doing that when the big carmakers like Holden packed up their assembly lines and went offshore three or four prime ministers ago.
Albo says the Bulldozer is a wrecker and he's a Builder, so we look forward to the Crane and Tip Truck entering the campaign this week.
Greens with envy
Today the Greens will roll out a $173bn seven point "balance of power shortlist" at their campaign launch, also in Queensland.
Leader Adam Bandt will outline the minority party's demands as polls are forecasting their primary vote may be healthier than the after photos of a Byron Bay wellness retreat.
Should the Greens attract somewhere near 10% of the vote they'll have a lot of power in the event of a hung parliament.
If Labor get close to the 76 seats needed to form government but falls short, the party of the long shorts and Birks may have a bit to say in the ALP's policies.
Bandt may be counting his organic, free-range chickens, but he reckons "voters deserve to know what will be on the negotiating table".
Here's what they'll want in exchange for allowing Albo confidence and supply in parliament:
- End coal and gas mining
- Wipe student debt
- Free childcare
- Dental covered by Medicare
- Lift income support
- Build 1m "affordable" homes
- Fast track the implementation of the Uluru Statement from the Heart
Happy anniversary
Time is but a construct now built around BC (Before Curry) and AD (After Dinner).
Today we remember when this metric began back in 2020.
Waltzing Matilda
Sam Kerr has led her team Chelsea to win the FA Cup final against Manchester City.
She kicked two goals, including the match winner off of a deflection in extra time, in front of a record 49, 094 strong crowd in London.
@samkerr1 pic.twitter.com/5iUr3kJgqh
— · (@Jorgantecic) May 15, 2022
Heaven's cricket team is too good
More sad news from the cricketing world. First Dean Jones, then Rod Marsh and Warnie, now Andrew Symonds has died.
The burly batsman, also known as "Roy", died in a car accident near Townsville at the weekend.
The 46-year-old played 26 Tests and 198 one-day internationals for Australia from 1998 to 2009. He leaves behind his wife Laura and two little kids.
"Symonds was born in Birmingham to mixed race parents whom he never met, and adopted by an English couple who then emigrated to Australia," The Australian's Gideon Haigh wrote.
"Symonds assuredly sounded like an Aussie: broad, laconic, salty, known when he played for Kent by the Waltzing Matilda ringtone that would ripple round the dressing room. But, with his partiality to dreadlocks and lip cream, he remained an exotic presence among the pale-faced, often blonde teammates of his time, with a flair that savoured of the Caribbean."
He was a unit. Tall and powerful with the bat. He once ruptured his bicep and took out several streakers during his time on the pitch.
Horrific history repeating
At least 10 people have been murdered in a racially motivated massacre in New York.
A heavily armed 18-year-old shot people inside a supermarket in a place called Buffalo.
The killer, who has been arrested, also live-streamed it.
Buffalo Police Commissioner Joseph Gramaglia put the toll at 10 dead and three wounded. Eleven of the victims were African Americans.
He said the gunman shot four people in the car park, three of them fatally, then went inside and continued firing.
They're back
After a two year Covid-infected hiatus, the Logies are back.
The awards that, to be honest have lost about as much relevance as some former prime ministers, will descend on the Goldie with the buzz and fizz of 18-year-old school leavers after three pineapple Cruisers on June 19.
Karl Stefanovic, Julia Morris, Hamish Blake, Tom Gleeson, Sonia Kruger and Ray Meagher (Alf from Home & Away) are up for the Gold Logie.
Sophie Monk is the official "face" of the awards.
"I love the Logies. I love getting dressed up and celebrating local stuff. It is such a fun night, I love looking at the fashion and I get to get dressed up but someone does it for me so I look respectable," Monk said.
Eurovision happened
Ukraine won Eurovision.
Which will be interesting as the winner usually hosts the following year's singing, dancing and amateur make up artistry competition.
Maybe singing in sequins can achieve what NATO can't?
Australia did... not great.
Former The Voice contestant Sheldon Riley - resplendent in dry ice, feathers and a glittery mask - only pulled in two points from the public vote.
He placed 15 out of 25 though, better than last year when we didn't ever make it past the semis. But this is only the second time where Australia - the island also known as "southern, southern Europe" - didn't place in the top 10 in the grand final.
When the T&Cs are a pain in the A
Heading to Bali soon?
If so you may want to make sure you're crystal clear about the travel requirements in case you end up like these two.
You need to get a PCR test to enter WA's northern suburb of Denpasar and you're required to submit a negative result 48-hours before boarding your flight. That countdown starts from the time you get the test, not when you get the result.
Taste = poor
The latest episode of Saturday Night Live went to air with a cold opening poking fun at the Johnny Depp v Amber Heard trial.
The reception of the "Live Coverage" sketch was chilly.
Meghan Markle’s favourite face gym is opening in Australia, Greta Thunberg publishes Andrew Tate’s contact details
All the news that's fit to mint.
Emily Ratajkowski joins the competitive world of online dating, Nick Kyrgios quits at the last minute
All the news that's fit to mint.