Grand farewells: The surreal symmetry of Ablett and Smith

Gary Ablett Jr has admitted the bald truth, but Cameron Smith hasn’t been this cagey since he tied the shoelaces together of an opposition hooker.

Gary Ablett Jr against Hawthorn in 2002

Gary Ablett Jr has admitted the bald truth. This is it. Cameron Smith hasn’t been this cagey since he packed into a scrum and tied the shoelaces together of an opposition hooker, trying not to roar with laughter while the poor young bloke fell flat on his face upon trying to scoot away. Smith reckons he may go round again next season but the response on the NRL’s street corners has amounted to this … pull the other one.

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Let’s assume it’s see ya later from him, too, meaning it’s goodbye to a couple of alleged GOATs this weekend. When NRL boss Peter V’landys called league “undestroyable” on Thursday – before asking, “is that even a word?” – he may as well have been characterising Smith, who keeps talking like he wants to do a Bert Ironmonger, the Test cricketer of the 1920s and 1930s who’s rolled his arm over until the age of 50. The imagination doesn‘t need too much of a stretching to see Smith sneaking out of dummy-half, pick-pocketing try assists and coming third in Dally M counts as a quinquagenarian. Undestroyable.

Ablett’s farewell is for Geelong in Saturday night’s off-Broadway Gabba AFL grand final against Richmond. Smith’s whatever-it-really-is will be for Melbourne in Sunday night’s NRL grand final against Penrith. There’s incredible symmetry between the 36-year-old Ablett and the 37-year-old Smith. Their twin departures – surely! surely! – come in twin premiership deciders after their twin debut years of 2002 and their twin status as all-time legends, if not the legends of their chosen endeavours. You know what they’ve both lost? They’ve lost the thing they have always had. Time. Not just time in the game, but time during a game.

Ablett has filled his pool room with the spoils of 356 AFL games and two premierships and two Brownlow Medals and eight All-Australian gongs. Smith’s room is just as sizeable, a bloody mansion in itself, with two Golden Boots hanging from the roof, two Dally Ms, eight grand finals, two premierships, a record 429 NRL games, a record 56 Tests jerseys, a record 42 Origins jumpers, the record for the most records. The numbers don’t reflect the true magic. Like all sporting genii, they have played in their pomps as they have received an extra half-second up to put up their sleeves. Ablett has struggled to find it this season; Smith less so, but still so.

Cameron Smith has played more games in the NRL than any other player Picture: Getty Images

Ablett has always had this glorious little pause before his kicks, like he’s been granted a moment to himself to line everything up and get his grip just right before curling into his technically exquisite style. At times he appears deep in thought when boot goes to ball, landing it on a five-cent piece or Tom Hawkins’ midriff. I once saw NRL legend Andrew Johns kick a ball about 40m into the front door of a waiting team bus. You can imagine Ablett doing that – repeatedly.

Smith has played with time from the beginning of time. He could have played his 19 seasons in a dinner suit and walked away with a barely a crease in his pants nor his tie out of place. In the roughest and toughest team sport in the world, he has found secret alleyways and corridors where time has stood still. The only time he’s appeared rushed has been when he’s discussed this week if his time is up. Prediction? He will confirm in about a fortnight that he’s done and dusted. We’ll see. He’ll be the oldest player to win a premiership in 96 years if the Storm get over the line. Undestroyable. Ablett will be third oldest AFL victor if the Cats get the flag. Twin grand final triumphs would take their symmetry towards surrealism.

Ablett says: “We play the game to be in grand finals. It’s a great feeling. Knowing it’s my last game … there’s no doubt I’ll take it all in but at the same time I’ve got to make sure I do everything I normally would. The game doesn’t get any easier. I have no second thoughts.” Smith may be having second thoughts, third thoughts, fourth thoughts, fifth thoughts, six again ref. Perhaps he’s fair dinkum? Perhaps he’s not throwing us all a dummy? He maintains: “I’ve spoken to a few of my ex-teammates that have now retired and they told me it was just one day they woke up and, in their mind, they didn’t want to do it anymore. That was the reason they knew it was time to finish up. I haven‘t had that feeling yet. There’s lots of things to consider, outside of just how I feel and whether I think I can play on. After this game, I‘ll do some thinking and make a decision.”