Toyota HiLux: Jeremy Clarkson’s review

It’s a tough workhorse that’s been around for years. But the new version has an Achilles heel...

Grrrr: The Toyota Hilux.

Many years ago, when I was hosting Top Gear, I was watching the news one night and, as usual, there was much footage of people in the Middle East shooting Americans from the backs of their Toyota pick-up trucks. And I couldn’t help thinking: just how tough are those things?

So the next day we bought a Hilux and decided to see how much damage we could inflict on it before it stopped working. I rammed it into various bits of Bristol, dropped it from a crane, set fire to it, hit it with a wrecking ball, left it under the sea for a couple of hours and then, when none of that stopped it, we put it on the top of a block of flats that were then blown up.

It was a huge risk, that film, because had the Hilux failed to recover from any of its ordeals we’d have been forced to say, “Well, there you are, folks. You can’t leave a Toyota pick-up truck under the sea and expect it to work afterwards.” And the audience would have replied with a weary, “You don’t say.”

Happily for all concerned, however, the Hilux survived all the ordeals and that film is probably the best remembered one we made. I think even Toyota itself was a bit amazed because the still-functioning wreck spent some time in the reception area of its HQ in Japan.

A couple of years later, when it was decided that James May and I should see if we could drive to the North Pole without killing one another, there was only one car we felt would be up to the job: the latest Hilux. Well, the cold was so severe that our cameras packed up, my phone stopped working and so did large parts of my body. Nothing works when it’s -50°C. But every morning that Hilux started and every component on it was unaffected. Small wonder the top-of-the-range Hilux in the UK is now called the Invincible X.

I was in one again over Easter in rural England and I cannot recall any car garnering quite so much attention. The fence-builders and gamekeepers and dry stone wallers have no time for supercars or the plush off-roaders of visiting city folk. They like only pick-up trucks, and in the pick-up world, the Invincible X is more incredible than the Queen’s golden coach. I saw one gnarled and bow-legged countryman actually stroke it as he walked by.

The next day I was on my farm, surveying the damage done by the recent storms. All was going well when I arrived at a small hill. Yes, it was a bit steep and yes, the ground was soggy. But this is a hill my old Range Rover can do in the wet with its eyes shut. So the Hilux would have no trouble at all…

I didn’t bother engaging any of the hardcore off-road gubbins. But then the wheels started spinning uselessly. So I stopped, twiddled the knob to select the low-range gearbox and pushed a button to engage the rear differential. And to my utter astonishment there was a lot of beeping and some flashing lights to tell me that neither thing was working properly. I rolled back down the hill in reverse, turned everything off, then turned everything on and still got nothing but beeps and flashing lights.

Had the sun risen in the west I’d have been less surprised. I was in a Toyota Hilux in the gently rolling Cotswolds, and it was stuck. And it was stuck because instead of using old-fashioned levers, the gearbox and the differential are now run by electronics, and electronics in a car designed to win wars against A-10 Warthogs and Apache gunships are as stupid as electronics on a shark-defence speargun.

The worst thing about electronics is that the faults are almost always intermittent. So after I turned off the Hilux, walked home and returned with another car and a tow rope, it came to life and hauled itself out of the mire. And then the diff lock and low range wouldn’t disengage. For about 15 minutes. Then they did. This was annoying for me; it would annoy a proper farmer even more. And in the Middle East, it could prove fatal.

I could go on to say that the engine was a bit rough and that space for passengers in the rear is tight, but that’s a bit like telling someone with terminal cancer they have an ingrown toenail.

The fact is that there is only one reason for buying a Hilux. It’s going to be unbreakable. But mine broke.

Fast Facts Toyota Hilux

Engine: 2.4-litre turbocharged four-cylinder diesel (110kW/400Nm)

Average fuel: 7.8 litres per 100km

Transmission: Six-speed automatic, all-wheel drive

Price: In Australia, from $45,990 for AWD Workmate Double Cab auto

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars