Those with money to burn can be flash

RECENTLY a friend was driving his new Chrysler 300 in Melbourne when blow me down if the car didn’t catch fire.

Burning car on fire, a Porsche GT3. For John Connolly's column. Picture: Supplied

A FEW weeks back a friend was driving his new Chrysler 300 ($46,000 here: $39,000 in the US) along the Nurburgring of Melbourne (or as I like to call it, the Tullamarine costway) when blow me down if the car didn’t catch fire. How good is that?

He didn't have to pay for the extra heater. In fact the good folks at the dealers didn't even let him in on the secret. But don't feel left out just because you have bought a really expensive piece of metal.

A Swiss petrol head was fanging his 350kW Porsche GT3 ($145,000 in the US; $210,000 in Europe; $320,000 here) along the A1. He was heading to St Gallen, whose only claim to fame, like most European cities, is an old abbey. Seriously, where would Euro-tourism be without the Catholics? Anyway, there he is heading up to 315km/h when he hears funnier than usual noises from the back (that’s where the engine is in a Porsche). So he pulls over and before he could say “heilig rauchen” the Porker is blazing. Constable Plod from the St Gallen plod station turns up, calls the local firies but even with heaps of cheese and water nothing could be done.

But wait there's more. An Italian petrol head, of which there are only 61 million, was heading for Avelino when the oil light went on. Now you probably haven't been to Avelino and I'm not saying it is the most boring spot on earth but it does take the silver medal. Of course, there is the mandatory cathedral, some ruins, including those of a brothel, clearly built before Catholic times.

OK, on goes the oil light. Maximo decides to lift the bonnet, or boot as you would call it, and whooshka, the car is burning faster than profits at Qantas. So after a while the good lads at VW, which owns Porsche and who used to build a lot of rear-engine cars themselves that didn't catch fire but were really good at rolling over and suddenly swapping the back for the front when you went around corners, decided to tell all 785 GT3 owners not to use their cars, unless they’re having a BBQ.

Now don't think this is an anti-German thing. The first Ferrari 458 Italias used to catch fire; the US National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is expanding its investigation into nearly 600,000 Chrysler SUVs because of fires; and Nissan said it is recalling about 13,500 Frontier pick-up trucks because they may also catch fire.

And don't think this is an anti-Italian thing. Tony Ward, who I don't think is Italian but once ate a pizza, phoned me. Antonio, as we call him at the Lancia Club, said: “Giovanni, you are not going to believe this but the Sydney Easter Show people want us to display our cars next to the cattle and chooks.”

“Meraviglioso, Antonio, that’s the best news I've had since Adelaide's Michelangelo McMichael said he would let the moths out of his wallet and buy me a Coopers,” I said.

“And”, Antonio rambled on “we are one of only two car clubs displaying at the Royal Easter Show this year. As you may be aware, just recently Dave Gooding sold a 1955 Lancia Aurelia B24 Spider America Convertible for over $2 million.”

Well yes, Antonio, I do get how fanatical Lancia lovers are. The London Telegraph’s Richard Holt wrote recently: “There is a girl in the office whose first name is Lancia, and whose second is Aurelia.”

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