V12 espresso just the shot

HEATHENS often find it hard to know what to buy for car lovers. We do live in a different world.

130615 wap espresso

HEATHENS often find it hard to know what to buy for car lovers. We do live in a different world and friends and family who don't have our sophistication and appreciation of true art feel embarrassed and inferior when it comes to birthdays, father's and mother's days, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus and similar events. So today a heathen's guide to present buying for metal maniacs: cut this out and paste it on the fridge door.

Given most of us live on coffee, the magnesium, titanium and aluminium V12 Espresso Veloce, pictured, "the most beautifully engineered espresso machine in the world", is a winner. Despite his name, the designer and builder, Paolo Mastrogiuseppe, is actually a South African and his $14,500 coffee maker is made in Johannesburg.

So when you get up in the morning, you head over to the V12 engine, lift up the spark plug cover, pop an espresso capsule into the right-hand cylinder bank, press a button and the coffee comes out of one of the exhausts. Add two shots of grappa from a slot in the nose of the engine and there's another perfect day coming up.

Paolo's papa, Raffaelle, used to drive Paolo to school in a Lamborghini Espada and a Maserati Quattroporte, as most fathers do. Paolo also sells V8 and V10 models.

Bugattis from the 1930s are bringing close to $10 million these days so buying a second-hand Veyron for under a mill is not only a great present but a sure-fire investment. Tom Hartley Jnr in Derbyshire has a very low mileage dark-blue-over-silver 2010 model on the lot right now. Here's what I suggest.

Without telling the recipient, you hop on China Southern first-class to London ($11,000), hire a Ferrari 458 from Season Car Hire ($4500), drive to Derbyshire, buy the Veyron from Tom ($1m), arrange for the transporter to drop the car at Nico Lieder's Auto Lieder garage near the Nurburgring ($2500), pick up recipient at Cologne airport and drive back to the garage where Nico and his two mechanics will be waiting with the birthday, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or Festivus cake, singing happy birthday, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or Festivus in German (Nico doesn't speak English).

Call me old-fashioned, but if that doesn't get you out of the bad books for dropping the soft serve on the leather seat then he/she doesn't deserve you.

OK. After the songs and the Alles Gute zum Geburtstag zu too, Nico, it's a quick spin around the track ($30 to drive a lap) where only three to 12 people die a year and then out to the autobahn to see if the Veyron is still good for 431km/h.

For the one special person in your life, nothing says love more than a racing lawn mower. Laugh you may, but Stirling Moss and Derek Bell raced and cut. In Britain, the sport is huge, with 12-hour endurance races and British and world championships. In Australia it's focused around the southern Riverina, with Big Gavin Barry from Berrigan dominating the top end of the sport.

To compete in Barry's league (400cc and 100km/h) you going to need somewhere north of $4000. But in the next class down, Ben Everett has his B Class mower racer on the market for a lazy $2400. Ben tells me his No 71 RANGA RACING cutter that's based on a Westwood mower with a GSX 250 engine is ready to race.

Talking of Stirling (as you know, Stirl and I never drop names) he and young Lew Hamilton compared Silver Arrows last week. Bonhams has offered our heathen readers a special deal on the double grand-prix-winning 1954 W196 that both Stirl and Juan Manuel Fangio won in. Tim Schofield says lay out 10 or 20 big ones for the Merc and he'll throw in seatbelts.

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