Test for the quest

THE real test of the beauty of any car, classic or modern, is the hot date test.

The all-new carbon-fiber Ford GT for John Connolly

THE real test of the beauty of any car, classic or modern, is the hot date test. So just imagine you’re about to go on the first outing with the man, woman or other of your dreams. You have spruced yourself up, hit the Old Spice or the 4711, put on your best frock, shaped the hair using your $179 Babyliss Pro with the Ferrari V12 (12-bar rotor system) hair dryer, slipped on your $1800 Tonino Lamborghini GT1 830S watch, pulled on your $200 Aston Martin socks and naturally, in the expectation you will get lucky, you have made up your $25,000 bed from the Bentley Home Collection.

Now the big decision: which car should you take?

The Jaguar E- Type ($100,000) says style, class and oil leaks. The 1936 Bugatti Type 57 SC ($45 million) says good looks and excess money. The new Alfa 4C ($80,000) says your date must be a contortionist. But if your would-be flame is a car person best to consult Road & Track magazine. They have just tested 44 modern performance cars ranging from a Ford Fiesta ST (says performance and parsimonious) to a Ferrari 458 Speciale (says Italian, sex, deep pockets, tempestuous and squashed eyeballs — from the acceleration). The winner was the Porsche GT3 … like ‘‘dark chocolate, complex and satisfying’’.

But I’d ignore all these and go for something American. The new Ford GT ($250,000) is the third in a series of incredible Ferrari andPorsche beating machines that have proven to be some of the best investments you could ever make. Being built to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the original Ford GT40 ($2m to $11m) taking the first three spots in the 1966 Le Mans 24-hour race, the new GT doesn’t have the traditional V8 engine. Instead under the carbon-fibre bonnet is a mid-mounted 440kw twin-turbo, 3.5-litre V-6 beast. A note here for the xenophobic. The top two Fords in 1966 were driven by three Kiwis and a Pom. Then came the Ford GT in 2005 for about $150,000 which quickly became $400,000 right now. So if you don’t buy the 2016 Ford GT, even though it has a smaller engine, you are a loser.

Now where to eat?

Look, it’s a long drive to Stuttgart but the Mercedes Benz car museum not only has lots of German autos but the original Wiener schnitzel for $28. On the other hand the Porsche Museum has the saddle of fallow deer with balsamico cherries, zucchini-pistachios and hand-made spatzle for $40. Frankly, I much prefer Melbourne’s Colonial Tramcar restaurant at $121 a head. There’s nothing better than a Yarra tram to say I have very strong feelings for you.

OK you’re thinking, thanks Weekend A Plus for getting me off to a great start in the romance caper, but where do I go now to inject a bit of the horizontal folk dancing into the evening?

Look, I don’t want to look like I’m recommending anything kinky here, but the Haddon Greta
Drive-In (‘‘if you don’t like the movie slash the seats’’) in the NSW Hunter Valley charges $30 for a car of eight people. Of course if you are in the Ford GT, Porker GT3 or the Alfa, just the two of you will be a squeeze.

On the other hand for two romantically inclined persons, what could get the love juices flowing more than ending the night at Roger Baillon’s chateau in western France. Before he went belly-up and then died, Roge had collected more than 200 all-time classic cars and put them in sheds around the house. Artcurial will auction 60 of them next month. But imagine lying in the four-poster bed looking over a very original 1961 Ferrari 250GT SWM California ($20m), and the ex-Roger Vadim, Jane Fonda 1966 Ferrari 275GTB long nose ($4m). Vadim, who bought the car new in 1966, wrote and directed
And God Created Woman in which Brigitte Bardot ‘‘is an 18-year old orphan with a high level of sexual energy who makes no effort to restrain her natural sensuality including lying nude in her yard’’.

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