Hot laps with the angels

IF God drives he has a Porsche 911 Turbo, the apostles each have a Cayman S and the angels have Mazda MX-5s.

130720 wap skip

IF God drives he has a Porsche 911 Turbo, the apostles each have a Cayman S and the angels have Mazda MX-5s (bought in the US). Having just spent three days racing an MX-5 around Carolina Motorsports Park, I can tell you that the angels are having the most fun.

My youngest son, Tom, 18, and I came to the scene of the bloodiest battle in the revolutionary war to teach Skip Barber and his instructors the finer points of the Australian way of driving fast. We paid about $4500 each for the privilege. Skip runs the most professional racing schools in the US, which probably means the world. We didn't have a lot to teach him.

For the price of a used Alfa you get a serious amount of track time at some legendary US tracks, some legendary ex-racers as instructors, very used racing suits, new helmets and your very own race prepped MX-5 and typical American lunches (which means a diet when you get home). But wait, there's more. At Bathurst, down Conrod Straight, the most you can hit, apart from another car, is a kangaroo. In America so far I've had near misses with three deer, a raccoon, two hunting dogs and a man with a gun. Bathurst, you need to lift your game.

But here's where the experience makes you angry. In the US the MX-5 is $25,000; here you'll pay about $30,000 more. At $34,000 this car, the logical successor to classics such as the MGB or Sprite, would be good value; at $55,000 you could nearly buy two Toyota 86s. Or you could buy a good used Boxster, which is a serious car, although for the same price you could buy a new one here in South Carolina.

The Skip Barber course has a professionally developed curriculum, brings you along from a limit of 95km/h the first day to 180km/h in the third day. It's one of those few courses of any kind you do in life where the instructors will get you there no matter how terrible you are.

All US racing instructors look like Jimmy Buffet, have had more wives than Henry VIII and lead lives that Jimmy sings about, particularly in emotionally charged classics such as Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw.

Our instructors included Terry Earwood, the winningest driver in the old Firehawk Series, a drag racing hall of famer and a motor sports person of the year. Terry has the best Paul Newman stories, most of them involving drinking then driving other people's cars and more drinking. He was also able to keep up with rookie open wheeler drivers in a Mazda 3. Terry also has remarkable courage. In one braking exercise he acts as a human marker cone. Not many of us hit him.

We hired a 2013 Cadillac SRX crossover from Hertz to drive to the track. This is almost the perfect American car and in South Carolina it is $15,000 cheaper than a Mazda MX-5 is in Australia. The SRX has a 231kW engine, sucks up juice faster than a thirsty leech, has enough room for three New York hotel suites and actually handles pretty well. Best of all you feel as if you are sitting on the bridge of the Titanic with the dance band playing on high-quality Bose speakers. Worst of all is the badly named Hertz Never Lost satnav system. While not quite as bad as the time it had me circle the Los Angeles airport parking lot for 2 1/2 hours, I would save your money and use Google maps.