Cheers big ears: King Chuck’s secret pilgrimage to the Kensi pub

Former Van Halen frontman Sammy Hagar’s 2015 Ferrari LaFerrari fetched $6.8m.

And it’s welcome from us to King Chuck and Queen Gladys (which is Chuck’s secret name for his current wife).

Chuck and Gladys may be heading for the Everest at the appropriately named Royal Randwick (we have to tip Traffic Warden because it’s the only car-related horse in the race), but we know, exclusively, where their real destination is.

Of course, it’s South Australia’s most populous city and home to the upcoming Adelaide Rally, the largest tarmac rally event in the southern hemisphere (and made famous by the derring-do of your very own WART team), the Adelaide Motorsport Festival (a museum in motion) and Cooper’s Brewery.

Named after one of C&G’s rellies, Queen Adelaide of Saxe-Meiningen, Queen of the United Kingdom of SDL and Ireland and Queen of Hanover, today it is known as the “City of churches, pubs and serial killers”.

In their rationale for giving the city by the Torrens this moniker, the academics at Sh*t Towns of Australia say: “Adelaide is a favourite spot for the federal government to house its expensive fudge-ups, including a submarine fleet that had difficulty submerging.

“The city’s most cherished invention is the Hills Hoist, which is a type of clothesline that was originally dreamt up as a mechanism for tanning the hides of flayed hitchhikers.

“Adelaide Zoo is proudly home to Australia’s only pandas. This pride is somewhat mitigated by the fact that in true South Australian fashion the pandas refuse to mate, dedicating their days to the standard Adelaide pursuits of getting on the goon and going late-night shopping at Westfield Marion.”

Anyway, King Chuck and Queen Gladys will definitely make a secret visit to the Kensi Hotel. We were given this message from His Majesty The King.

Chuck wrote: “As this wonderful summer comes to a close in SDL (soap dodger land), my wife joins me in sending our heartfelt congratulations to the patrons of The Kensi. Behind every beer poured lies a wonderful story of courage, commitment and true talent, matched by a determination that has taken your hotel to the very top. We rejoice in your cash flow, while saluting and celebrating all those who have taken part. Of course, your very own major client has been the official nude portrait painter to the Royal Family (except one) for all Mummy’s reign. I look forward to Cammy getting her kit off for the superior talents of Michael McMichael. Sultan, your example has succeeded in inspiring, encouraging and lifting the hearts of all.”

Now while Chuck’s mum was a petrol head (as revealed in a new book by her Australian secretary), Chuck and Gladys are more into the horse and art capers so they will be ignoring one of the two 2024 US grands prix. Sunday’s is over 56 laps of the 5.513km Circuit of The Americas in Austin, Texas. The big questions are: Will Leaping Lando start reeling in his 78-point deficit to Mad Max, despite Maxie still being the bookies’ favourite for 2024 world champion. After our stunning predictions for Bathurst (which were completely wrong), our tips for the first three on Sunday are Lando Norris, Max Verstappen and Oscar Piastri. Don’t forget sheep fancier Liam Lawson will be in Danny R’s seat in the Red Bull B team.

But the big question is, will Liberty Media, which controls the broadcasting, organisation and promotional rights of Formula One, cop a multibillion-dollar fine from the US Department of Justice for excluding the Andretti Cadillac team from F1? Clearly, founder Michael Andretti thinks he will win the day as F1 journalist Joe Saward says Cadillac has “recently acquired” the intellectual property rights to Renault’s 2026 engine. And by the way, happy birthday, Kimi-Matias Räikkönen (the ice man) on turning 45.

Staying on F1, Seb Vettel and Mick Schumacher are forming a German “super team” at the 2025 Race Of Champions at Accor Stadium in Sydney, on March 7-8. Seven-time Supercars champion Jamie Whincup will be there, but at this stage, and we have entered a protest, Craig Lowndes, 50 of Brisbane will not. The Race Of Champions will run over two nights with a purpose-built 950m track. The ROC Nations Cup is on the Friday night and on Saturday night it’s the individual Race Of Champions, when all teamwork goes out of the window and it will be a battle for individual glory and the Champion of Champions title. Which Craig would be an odds-on certainty to win.

Stellantis CEO Carlos Tavares will retire in 2026 if not sooner and North America chief Carlos Zarlenga also got the boot. Given Stellantis stock is down 42 per cent, that Jalopnik readers have voted its product as the cars you would never recommend anyone buys, and that a common issue being Jeep’s “shaky steering wheels at high speeds or over bumps, sometimes referred to as the death wobble”, this is not surprising. Nor is Berwick Jeep’s lack of care for customers Helen and Jerry Chaberka, who bought a pre-owned Jeep from the dealer now owned by Autoleague. We’ll be telling you more about Autoleague next week and which of their dealerships you should avoid. Naturally we’ll be asking CEO Dan Kawai for his views, particularly on the group’s guiding purpose “mobilising people towards a better life”.

Last week in septic land Barrett-Jackson sold more than $85m of metal at its Scottsdale Auction, including Rock & Roll Hall of Famer Sammy Hagar’s 2015 Ferrari LaFerrari for $6.8m. Good result, in fact the highest price ever for an FLF, but the big question is, who is Sammy Hagar? I have asked our youth adviser, JP of Perth, and our seniors adviser, MM of Stepney, and I can’t repeat their answers here. So, we contacted Mr Hagar on the psychic internet and he told us he was born on October 13, 1947 (happy birthday), that he is also known as the Red Rocker and that he is an American singer, songwriter, guitarist, entrepreneur and philanthropist. Mr Hagar said he specialises in the heavy metal and hard rock genres and used to front US rock legends Van Halen.

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