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Jack Marx summer cookbook recipe: Monster mash

My mash consistently makes women moan and gentlemen raise their eyebrows. The secret is simple muscularity.

The Way to the Heart: Jack Marx
The Way to the Heart: Jack Marx

My mash consistently makes women moan and gentlemen raise their eyebrows. The secret is simple muscularity.

 
 

4-5 small white washed potatoes per guest, unpeeled, diced small

Salt to taste

Grated cheddar cheese, a generous amount

Tablespoon butter

Garlic oil

1 cup milk, heated

 
 

1. Dice the potatoes into small portions and boil them in a pot for about 20 minutes, salting as they suffer, stirring occasionally and watching the water level. When a test piece is soft enough to more-or-less melt in your mouth, pour the rest into a colander, shake the water out and return them to the dry, hot pot.

2. Add a generous grating of cheddar cheese, a handsome tablespoon of butter and garlic oil.

3. Set the pot on a chopping board and gather your tools — a masher and whisk — and a cup of milk nuked for one minute in the nearest microwave.

4. The importance of the mashing cannot be overstated. You’ve got to mash, mash and mash again, adding the hot milk as you go. Mash like a monster. Mash like Alan Alda. Mash till your arm shames Arnold Schwarzenegger. Continue this brutality until the mixture is almost without pulp. Add a few twists of salt.

5. Then whisk. Again, this must be violent and eternal. First stir with the whisk swiftly and recklessly, drizzling more hot milk if things don’t seem soft enough. Then, putting the handle of the whisk between your palms, rub your hands together furiously, like starting fire with a stick. Whisk like the turn of the Earth depends upon it. Drive that propeller all around the pot, destroying all lumps, until the whole thing is the consistency of whipped cream.

6. Serve with haste. Ideal as a little Everest atop a juicy scotch steak, a tiny flag of conquest planted on the peak.

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Jack Marx is an author and journalist living in outback NSW. His books include Sorry: The Wretched Tale of Little Stevie Wright and Australian Tragic. His forthcoming book, I Know Who Killed Thelma Dal Pozzo, will be published by Hachette in October 2023.

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Original URL: https://www.theaustralian.com.au/life/jack-marx-summer-cookbook-recipe-monster-mash/news-story/a99fcdf4fe2c355be9f2b05cc4d162b5