Mercedes A 200 AMG Line review: It’s no good, butyou’ll want one anyway

It’s often said that the Germans don’t have a sense of humour. But that’s obviously not true, because Mercedes has launched this.

Mercedes A 200 AMG Line.

It’s often said that the Germans don’t have a sense of humour. But that’s obviously not true, because Mercedes has launched a 1.3-litre Volkswagen Golf-sized hatchback that has a hilarious price tag. And here’s the punchline: it’s possible you are going to want one.

I’ve never really understood why luxurious and beautifully appointed interiors are fitted to large cars only. Who says that people who want soft leather and thick carpets must also need five metres of legroom in the back and enough boot space to hold all of Joan Collins’s hats? Why doesn’t someone make a small car that has big-car luxury?

Renault tried it in the past with a version of the 5 called the Monaco. It had a bigger than necessary engine that was tuned for refinement rather than speed and very squishy seats that were upholstered in surprisingly fine leather. It should have been a runaway success, but the number sold in Britain was about none. That is because behind the luxury touches it was still a 1980s horror bag. It broke down a lot, went rusty and wouldn’t start when it was hot.

Happily, none of those things will affect the new Mercedes A-class, which is obviously trying to pull off the same trick as the Monaco. As a result, you step inside the A 200 AMG Line version that I tested and immediately you will get out and say: “I have got to have one.”

Yes, my car had a few extras, but God almighty it’s a nice place to sit. There’s a slab of what looks like zinc on the dash, and the five circular air vents closely resemble the back end of the engines on a Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird. And get this. When they’re blowing cold air they glow blue, and when it’s warm they glow red. Then there’s the lighting everywhere else. You can add an option that lets you choose from every colour known to science and then, when you can’t make up your mind what colour you want, you just put the system on auto and it softly changes as you drive along. It’s like being in the aurora borealis and I absolutely loved it.

Then there were the two glass screens, one for the navigation system and the stereo and so on, and one for the dials, and this could also be changed to suit your mood. I spent 85 per cent of my time doing that and only 15 per cent looking where I was going. It’s strange. We cannot drive while talking on the phone or while playing with a passenger, because such things are deemed to be distracting. Yet we are allowed to drive while sitting in front of what feels like the lighting desk at a Pink Floyd gig.

I suppose I should flag that, technically, the car’s not that small. It’s a damn sight bigger than, say, the original A-class. The new model is almost the same size as a Honda Civic. Still pretty small for a Merc but big enough to handle a family of five. Which is why that 1.3-litre engine is a surprise. A 1.3-litre unit was fine in an Austin, but in a car weighing more than 1.3 tonnes it sounds a bit feeble. And it is, if I’m honest. Yes, it has a turbo, and, yes, it can get the car from 0 to 100km/h in eight seconds, but it sounds all the time as if it’s really working for a living. And it’s fixed to a seven-speed gearbox that never knows what gear’s best. Progress, then, is often loud and jerky. Not that you notice, because you’re too busy making the speedometer go green.

To drive? Well, the base cars have a Homebase torsion beam rear suspension, which has Mercedes purists running around waving their arms in the air. But I can’t see why. It’s not as if the 1.3-litre engine is going to cause any issues back there. My car had a multi-link setup, and I know I’m supposed to say that this was a good thing, but when you’re sitting in the aurora borealis it’s hard to pay attention to rear-end bump absorption. Like all modern vehicles, it’s too firm. Actually, in this car – one that will be sold to people who care more about lighting than handling – it’s way too firm.

So as a car it’s no good, really. The engine, gearbox, ride comfort and price tag are all wrong. But I will quite understand if you decide you absolutely must have one, because what you get is all the sleek modern grace of a double-fronted riverside penthouse in a shoebox.

Fast facts Mercedes A 200 AMG Line

Engine: 1.3-litre turbo-petrol four-cylinder (120kW/250Nm)

Average fuel 5.7 litres per 100km

Transmission: Seven-speed dual-clutch automatic, front-wheel drive

Price: From $47,200

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars