The delicate truth: women are better at sex than men

Women of a certain age have been conditioned to expect that men are clueless about the magic button. Read this ladies, then show it to your underperforming partner. Thank me later in the comments.

Sir, do you know where the clitoris is, and what to actually do with it? Some men (shock, horror) do not.

Breaking news: Men are more likely to orgasm during sex than women. We all knew that, didn’t we? But a recent study puts the cat among the pigeons with an intriguing new finding. It reveals that women who have sex with other women enjoy higher rates of climax than women who have sex with men. The delicate deduction here? That the lovely heterosexual men among us need to step up if they really want to please their women. Sir, do you know where the clitoris is, and what to actually do with it? Some men (shock, horror) do not.

The study in the US journal Sexual Medicinefound that men of all ages reported orgasm rates of 70 to 85 per cent during heterosexual intercourse. Women? A dismal 46 to 58 per cent. But in women sleeping with women? More frequently.

The eight-year study encompassed almost 25,000 Americans between the ages of 18 and – quite magnificently – 100 (go you good things). So technically, Aussie men could argue that US men are the ones at fault here. But, er, this is quite possibly a universal inequality.

For straight women, the study showed that this very unfair orgasm gap persists throughout their lives. Even as they discover what their bodies can do. Even as they embrace an expanding sexual confidence.

As women age, the researchers found there was no glorious increase in orgasmic pleasure for straight women – but surprise surprise, this is definitely not the case with same-sex couples. Rather, female sexual partners of females quite possibly listen to instruction, and adapt their behaviour, and know what actually works, to supply a more generous and equal experience in bed.

The study’s lead author, Dr Amanda Gesselman, has some thoughts about priorities: “We really, as a society, sort of prioritise men’s pleasure and undervalue women’s sexual pleasure. And I think that contributes to consistent disparities.” Perhaps a polite way of saying – Actually, this is appalling. Also, to the men – Listen to your partner. We know our bodies. Particularly as we get older. Know what works. Orgasms are wonderful things, so please work out how to give them to us.

Dutch journalist Laura Hiddinga has written a book called Are You Coming? A Vagina Owner’s Guide to Orgasm. She states that “female pleasure is all about the clitoris. Most women, 80 per cent, cannot achieve orgasm through penetration alone … we wouldn’t have an orgasm gap if the clitoris wasn’t ignored”.

It’s the most extraordinary organ, with about 8000 sensory nerves – double that of a penis. Gentlemen, frankly, it’s our magic button. Please don’t say it’s just too hard to find. We want some serious attention focused here. Do not necessarily want to have to finish the job ourselves. Penetration alone as the way to a woman’s sexual fulfilment? I don’t think so, in many instances.

But is a woman’s sexual fulfilment actually the focus, in so many circumstances? Just look at the porn our young men are consuming, and the lies it sells. Gen Z are cottoning on to this weird, unequal sexual dynamic in terms of orgasmic equality. Some females – quite a few – are now preferring celibacy over having to endure the rapture of a bloke who leaves an un-orgasmed, unfulfilled female in his wake. Frankly my dear, these women would prefer to orgasm on their own.

A serious, legitimate question being asked: When does the sexual life of these questioning younger women, with someone else, end? And why? What’s to blame? Maybe it’s because there’s no fun for them. This is becoming a very big question among a certain younger cohort, whereas older females have a lifetime of conditioning to just … endure. Submit. Succumb.