Libs warned: ‘Please do not respond to Net Zero surveys’

Scott Morrison’s crackdown on burning issues has continued … within the Liberal Party at least. But is he simply adding fuel to the climate fire?

Alice Workman

4 min read

9:41PMSeptember 27, 2021.

Updated 7:13AMSeptember 28, 2021

Scott Morrison.

Scott Morrison’s crackdown on burning issues has continued … within the Liberal Party at least.

Chief Government Whip Bert van Manen sent out this mass message on Monday: “Hi Colleagues, The Australian is ringing around for views on Net Zero, please do not respond to surveys. Thank you Bert.” It’s a move that has upset some in the party, who believe it will only add fuel to the climate fire.

This is the second Stalinist silencing that has come across Strewth’s desk in recent days. The Prime Minister’s office issued an edict last week that all Liberal backbenchers must get approval before speaking to the media. Our sources suggest it was sparked by Dave Sharma’s front-page plea for the government to set higher climate change targets, such as 40 to 45 per cent by 2035.

Dave Sharma backs Australia committing to an emissions reduction target of 40-45 per cent by 2035 in a fracturing of the Coalition partyroom. #auspol https://t.co/wwB9bU82cq
— The Australian (@australian) September 20, 2021

We haven’t heard such heavy-handed tactics since Labor tried to plug drips from its closed-door caucus meetings before they could become Titanic-style leaks, by attempting a phone ban in June. Anthony Albanese’s foot soldiers are already forced to send final drafts of opinion pieces to their leader for approval (or forced changes) before being submitted to newspapers … ironic, given how much Albo loved free speech (and freelancing) when he wasn’t in charge.

Most Liberals appear to be keeping mum so far. But it’s another story within the Nationals. Just like Marie Kondo – the Japanese tidier who was big two years ago – Darren Chester has decided some of his junior COAL-ition colleagues no longer “spark joy”. The former frontbencher and friend of Michael McCormack opted out of Monday’s virtual partyroom meeting, but insists he’s sad, not angry. Sounds like a classic case of FOOPO: Fear Of Other People’s Opinions.

Coal fired-up

Matt Cavanan with his new Adani paperweight.

Up close ... Adani coal from the Carmichael mine.

Talk about being between a rock and a hard place. With Chester consciously uncoupling from the Nats, who better to front up to the coalface than Matt Canavan?

The former cabinet minister and consigliore to Barnaby Joyce has been gifted a new paperweight: a piece of the first coal extracted from the Carmichael Mine in June, care of Bravus Mining and Resources (formerly known as Adani). It’s 100 grams of shiny black rock, worth approximately 1c, mounted on a plinth with a commemorative plaque. “Secure livelihoods for 1000s of Aussie coal miners and their families: priceless,” Canavan wrote on his parliamentary gift register. An “I started these” reminder to rival Scott Morrison’s “I stopped these” silver boat trophy.

It’s not the only carbon merch in Canavan’s collection. He spent much of the 2020 Queensland state election hooning around Annastacia Palaszczuk’s electorate in his “QLD Coal Matters” car. The pro-Adani sticker originally read “Black Coal Matters”, a parody of Black Lives Matter, but was dumped after a social media backlash. Canavan told Strewth he agreed it was discriminatory – as he loves brown coal too. His suggested new slogan? All Coal Matters.

First coal from the Adani mine! After 2 weeks in quarantine great to be back in office fighting for more coal jobs!! pic.twitter.com/bc2AqcI55S
— Matthew Canavan (@mattjcan) September 17, 2021

Carbon dating

When the Great (Energy) War reignited over the weekend, Canavan took to Twitter – where his profile picture features a sooty face snap taken during a trip to Mandalong coalmine in the Hunter Valley last year, nestled in the seat of retiring Labor troublemaker Joel Fitzgibbon – to declare he is “deadset” against net-zero emissions, as it’s a “Utopian target … about as silly as zero Covid”.

Despite the decree from Nats 2IC David Littleproud that they need to fall into line behind the PM’s plan, Canavan has rather ominously told people he hasn’t “even begun to fight”. And to think just two years ago, his quest to nationalise coal-fire power stations prompted Labor Senate leader Penny Wong to label him the “most socialist person in the parliament at the moment”. As for whether ScoMo will fly to the COP 26 summit in Glasgow in five weeks? It doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure this one out … it’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.

JokeKeeper

Help me erect 3 comedy billboards in Glasgow for COP26 to tell the truth about Australia's climate action record. #auspol #comedy #satire https://t.co/VKBY3EV6u2 pic.twitter.com/ycurDc4Lgl
— Dan Ilic ðŸ”£ (@danilic) September 26, 2021

Investigative humorist Dan Ilic kicked off a crowd-funding campaign in the name of “truthful” climate comedy on Monday. He wanted $12,225 to buy three Glaswegian billboards for the 14 days of COP 26 talks. “Australia: Net-0 Emissions by 2300” reads one advertisement; another, “Cuddle A Koala! (Before we make them extinct)”.

Ilic managed to hit his target just three hours after it launched on Indiegogo, with donations now well over $27k. Meanwhile, the Liberals’ federal director, Andrew Hirst, is using reports of Simon Holmes a Court’s $1.4m war chest for “left-leaning Independents” to spur contributions to the party’s so-called Fighting Fund. Liberal members are given clickable dollar options ranging from $30 to $2500.

Hand puppet

Boris Johnson took aim at the Muppets during his UN General Assembly climate speech last week. “When Kermit the Frog sang, “It’s Not Easy Bein’ Green” I want you to know that he was wrong. It is easy, lucrative and right to be green, although he was unnecessarily rude to Miss Piggy, I thought,” the British PM said. Showing range rarely seen outside a Mariah Carey concert, BoJo moved onto philosophy. “Sophocles is often quoted as saying that there are many terrifying things in the world, but none is more terrifying than man. But what Sophocles actually said was that man is deinos and that means not just scary but awesome – and he was right.”

Down periscope

“Cheating with a mistress,” that’s how one French senior official describe our sub-optimal relationship. No wonder Scott Morrison played it safe when picking thank you presents for the Quad. US President Joe Biden scored a framed photo of the Opera House lit up with the US and Australian flags (valued at $563) and a didgeridoo made from scarlet gum ($425). Indian PM Narendra Modi was gifted a fawn-coloured Akubra ($215) and Japanese PM Yoshihide Suga, a Tasmanian watch and cufflink box ($425).