Turncoat Tassie devils
Watch out Steven Marshall and Peter Gutwein. South Australians want Gladys. So do Tasmanians.
The Codfather
“Just when we thought Nick Xenophon’s political career was sleeping with the fishes, here he is, making the Prime Minister an offer he can’t refuse. I suggest Scott Morrison pays Aussie bootmakers the respect they deserve, because Nick knows better than anyone – revenge is a dish best served cold,” Van Diemen’s Land senator Jacqui Lambie told Strewth.
It’s getting ugg-ly
In the iconic film Beaches, Bette Midler’s character CC Bloom declares: “But enough about me, let’s talk about you. What do you think of me?” Xenophon once told this columnist he believes that is the most accurate depiction of a politician on the big screen. Ironically, in the latest round of life imitating art – or relevant deprivation syndrome, as its known in the Canberra Bubble™ – Xenophon found himself on the front page of this paper, threatening to return as an independent federal politician (and, in a domino effect, sounded the death knell for his former party Centre Alliance, nee the Nick Xenophon Team – but more on that later). “Like Al Pacino in The Godfather, once I thought I was out, they try to drag me back in,” Xenophon declared on Wednesday. But not for the first time. Strewth reported back in July that Xenophon was seriously considering a second tilt at federal politics, after his failed tilt at state politics, all because of ugg boots. There’s no business like shoe business. The former senator is one of the lawyers representing Eddie Oygur in his battle against US clothing conglomerate Decker, which owns the trademark for the sheepskin shoes. Xenophon, who said he’s being paid in uggs, is incensed by Attorney-General Michaelia Cash’s “couldn’t give a stuff attitude”. He wants the Morrison government to make a direct plea to the US Supreme Court and stump up another $50k (a $200k taxpayer-funded contribution has already been made). Worse comes to worse, Oygur could be forced to switch back to the original name used by Frank Mortel, of Mortels Sheepskin Factory, in 1958 – “ugly boots”. Kath and Kim would not approve.
In the Nick of time
“I was called xenophobic by The Australian in the past, and Nick assured me that it didn’t mean I would be joining his party,” Bob Katter told Strewth, tongue firmly in cheek. The kolourful Queenslander is very keen to welcome back Xenophon to the krossbench kommunity. “That is wonderful news that Nick might be coming back,” Katter said. “He lost his way for a bit, but I thought he was one of the great assets to federal parliament,” Katter said. “I pray and hope that he gets re-elected. Go for it Nick, go for it.” Just what is the member for Kennedy’s snappy rationale? You scratch my back I will scratch yours, of course. “The small parties and independents are on a record high 14 per cent nationwide,” Katter said. “Outside of the Sydney and Melbourne metropolitan areas the regional cities are a happy hunting ground. The return of Xenophon would strengthen our leadership.”
Down periscope
But what does the man who took his South Australian senate seat think? Rex Patrick worked as a senior adviser to Xenophon and was hand picked to replace him in 2017. The former submariner ditched Centre Alliance to go solo in August last year. He’s now formed the Rex Patrick Team and unleashed a racy new slogan for his re-election campaign – “Sic ’Em Rex” – alongside a light blue echidna logo. It’s inspired by the infamous 1990s Antz Pantz ad. (For those lucky enough to have forgotten, the TV ad involved a bunch of bull ants crawling up the leg of an underwear-clad woman. She instructs the echidna beside her to “sic ’em Rex”, which the spiny anteater does. Get it?) Xenophon could attract enough support to snare the fifth or sixth Senate spot in South Australia, which could leave Patrick and the last remaining Centre Alliance senator Stirling Griff out of a job after the next federal poll. What was Rex’s reaction to the news of the return of the X-Man? “Assuming he runs, this will be bad for the Liberals, bad for Labor, good for South Australia and make sitting of the next Senate all the more interesting,” Patrick told Strewth. BYO monkey and banana pyjamas.
Kean as mustard
“I am sure anyone would be better than Craig Kelly at representing the community,” NSW Treasurer Matt Kean said after news broke that his Liberal colleague Melanie Gibbons was quitting state politics to contest the federal seat of Hughes. Local group We Are Hughes is also out to find a “celebrity” candidate. Strewth understands Dr Kerryn Phelps, the former member for Wentworth, was ready to run, but dropped out a few weeks ago.
strewth@theaustralian.com.au
Libs should be-Ware what they say about JWH
Could things get any worse for the Liberals in Hughes? Well, strap in. Diary can reveal that Liberal candidate Jenny Ware once called John Winston Howard ‘out of touch’.
Believe in your selfie, Andrew
Kevin Rudd appears to have met his selfie match in Andrew Charlton.
Watch out Steven Marshall and Peter Gutwein. South Australians want Gladys. So do Tasmanians. In fact, nearly 70 per cent of Quiet Australians from around the country support the idea of former NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian taking another stab at politics, provided she is not found guilty of corruption by the ICAC. Yet, only one third would definitively say they believe she is innocent. The CoreData survey of 1371 people was conducted last Wednesday after whispers that senior Liberals wanted to tap the former Premier as its “dream candidate” to stand against independent Zali Steggall in Warringah. A near impossible feat given preselection for the federal seat is set to close within weeks (and – psst! – she doesn’t want to do it). NSW led the states giving Glad’s second coming a thumbs up (76.3 per cent), followed by SA (70.8 per cent) and Tasmania (70 per cent). ACT residents were the least likely to back Berejiklian, with half of the population saying they would not support her and two-fifths claiming she was only “somewhat unsuccessful” in the top job – the highest proportion of any state or territory. Ouch! As for her successor Dominic Perrottet, he was met with mixed views – only 55 per cent of New South Welshmen and women hold positive expectations that he will be “somewhat successful” as Premier. The Dom-inator, as NSW Treasurer Matt Kean has dubbed him, is not popular with under 30s. At least three-quarters of youth hold negative views of him and predict an unsuccessful tenure. Which may explain why Perrottet has recruited Mike Duffy – former head of media at AGL and senior journalist at Seven News – to his spin team. Surprisingly, Perrottet’s highest rates of approval are in the Apple Isle, with a vast majority (70 per cent) saying the new Premier will be a winner. You know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.