For Five Eyes only

There’s never been a more exciting time for 007 diplomacy. Britain’s high commissioner, Vicki Treadell, is hosting a last-minute screening of the new James Bond flick.

Daniel Craig.

There’s never been a more exciting time for 007 diplomacy. Britain’s high commissioner, Vicki Treadell, is hosting a last-minute screening of the new James Bond flick No Time To Die for friends and allies in the Canberra Bubble™. Non-transferable invitations went out on Wednesday for the screening, scheduled for next week at the trendy Palace Electric cinema in New Acton. After a reception in the Prosecco Bar, guests will be treated to a look at Daniel Craig’s fifth and final outing as the fictional M16 spy. The dress code? “Black tie or Bond-themed heroes and villains.” What a hoot! Will Treadell take a gamble on Pussy Galore? The gold-painted Jill Masterson, from Sean Connery’s turn in 1964, seems a tad risque. Maybe Miss Moneypenny would be more appropriate for Boris Johnson’s representative down under, who was described by unnamed senior Australian public servants as a “sanctimonious bore” on climate change in The Telegraph in October. Then again, she did support the “uncomfortable chair” tactics on Trade Minister Dan Tehan earlier this year … shades of oil heiress Elektra King’s torture chair. Is this why Paul Keating described Old Blighty as “an old theme park sliding into the Atlantic” under “old coconut head” BoJo? The AUKUS fracas aside, one of Strewth’s field agents suggested it seemed a tad on the nose for Treadell to be asking ambassadors to dress up as one of the foreign stereotypes featured in the British franchise. Who could forget the Latvian smuggler Auric Goldfinger, Russian Colonel Rosa Klebb, Polish assassin Jaws, German cat owner Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Korean henchmen Oddjob, Georgian fighter pilot Xenia Onatopp or the half-French, half-Chinese antagonist Dr Julius No. Tragically, Australia’s own undercover agent, Alexander Downer – best known for his role as the British high commish who kicked off the Mueller investigation into Donald Trump – is back in London so won’t be able to attend. Probably for the best, given Downer prefers a stiff gin and tonic to a vodka martini, shaken not stirred.

Vicki Treadell.

Born to rum

Have Tasmanian politicians been legislating under the influence? Independent MLC Ruth Forrest said she was “deeply disturbed” to hear about a tipple during Tuesday’s late-night pokies debate. “Some members who were generally only returning to the chamber late at night to vote were clearly under the influence of alcohol and could be heard saying as much,” Forrest said. From Strewth’s experience, it’s not just the Van Diemensers who have given in to the demon drink while parliament is sitting.

Independent Ruth Forrest talks during the Voluntary Assisted Dying Bill debate in the Legislative Council. Picture: Zak Simmonds

Rambo rip off

Sylvester Stallone.

The incompetent Franco-Australian military relationship isn’t confined to $90bn submarines. Lawyers for a French defence contractor claimed it had no idea how much it costs to make a gun for the Australian Army or whether it produces a profit by doing so. It’s just one part of an intellectual property case over a Rambo-style rifle mounted with a grenade launcher currently playing out in the Queensland Supreme Court. It centres around Thales Australia, a munitions manufacturer 26 per cent owned by the French government, and the standard service gun used by the Australian Defence Force, called the Austeyr. Thales is appealing a judgment from July in which judge Thomas Bradley found it had ripped off Queensland family-owned company NOIA and Austrian firearms manufacturer Madritsch. To cut a long story short, Thales has been producing the Austeyr for the Australian Army since 2006, when it purchased the federal government’s factory in Lithgow, NSW. In the same year, Thales was advised by the now defunct Defence Materiel Organisation that the rifle had a faulty firing mechanism – when a grenade was launched, the gun was prone to jam. Where does Rambo come in? To quote Justice Bradley: “Over time, whether or not associated with the use of an M203 grenade launcher in Rambo III (1988), both rifles have been manufactured with an accessory rail below the barrel on which a grenade launcher may be mounted.” Tragically, Sylvester Stallone was not called to testify. After confidential chats with its Austrian rival, Thales was provided with samples of Madritsch’s grenade launcher attachment kits to solve the problem. However, instead of mass ordering more, Thales claimed it had invented its own creative fix … which just happened to be very similar to the Madritsch-provided solution. The Queensland Supreme Court found there was a breach of its non-disclosure agreement and ordered Thales to pay damages.

Annie get your gun

Which is where things get fiscal. During proceedings last year, Thales filed evidence that it “does not maintain accounting records” for the Austeyr. Which seemed to perplex Justice Bradley: “What is being said to the court here is that this major supplier of armaments to the army doesn’t know what it costs to produce one of those standard items or whether it makes a profit on it or not, and if so, how much.” Justice Bradley said it seemed extraordinary that “a public company of this size” did not know the margins of one of its major products. “It would be very concerning if you were a shareholder,” the judge mused. Indeed. When Strewth asked Thales if it now knew the price of the gun, a spokeswoman said it would be “inappropriate to comment” as the case was ongoing. She added that the rifle was part of a “complex supply chain, precise details of which are commercially sensitive”. That’s despite the company bragging that $1.9bn had been spent on Australian suppliers between 2018 and 2020 – including “$386m in munitions and small arms” – based on analysis by Accenture. Defence was a little more forthcoming. A spokesman told Strewth that the government signed a $463.5m contract with Thales in 2015 to manufacture 38,500 rifles and grenade launchers. Thales has delivered 33,900 so far, with the final rifles scheduled for August 2022. The total cost to date: $402.9m.

Rambo V: Last Blood.

Reserve action

Finally, an EV update. We reported on Wednesday that Greens leader Adam Bandt suspected he was the first federal MP to start driving a taxpayer-funded hybrid – a Mitsubishi Outlander – a few years ago. The Labor brains trust informed us that former Fremantle MP Melissa Parke had a hybrid Toyota Prius in 2008, after winning an early battle with the penny pinchers at Finance. Kevin Rudd owned a Prius as opposition leader, which he took with him to The Lodge.

Kevin Rudd.

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