2020 DIY Halloween costumes: covid, Gladys and Daryl, and Carol Baskin

With Victoria opting to track and trace rather than trick or treat, here’s Strewth’s last-minute costume ideas for anyone outside Bleak City looking to scare this Saturday!

Spooky Halloween costumes for 2020 inspired by Christine Holgate and Pete Evans.

Something wicked this way comes!

With Victoria opting to track and trace rather than trick or treat this All Hallow’s Eve … here’s Strewth’s last-minute costume ideas for anyone outside Bleak City looking to scare this Saturday!

Dictator Daniel Andrews (two doughnuts, North Face jacket, budenovka), Karen from Brighton (Bunnings sausage sizzle, copy of the Charter of Human Rights), Scott Morrison (Hawaiian shirt, hose or hammer for the chicken coup), Donald Trump (fake tan, MAGA hat, eating a pangolin), COVID Marshall (yellow vest, measuring tape, handing out fines and individually wrapped lollies with tongs), DJ Anthony Albanese (Pixies or Rabbitohs T-shirt, tiny white dog, inner-west latte to sip), Bridget McKenzie (colour-coded sports rorts spreadsheet, shotgun), Christine Holgate (undelivered mail, $19k worth of Cartier watches), Kevin Rudd (handball, donated cash from Jeffrey Epstein) or the ghost of Ruth Bader Ginsberg (black robe, copy of The Female Eunuch).

Couples should consider coming as Gladys Berejiklian and her secret sex partner; Lawyer X Nicola Gobbo and former Victorian cop chief Simon Overland; a private security guard and sacrificial lamb Jenny Mikakos or Chris Eccles; Kim Jong-un and his big missile; Josh Frydenberg and the recession (BYO Back in Black mug); John Barilaro and a koala; JobKeeper and JobSeeker; Megxit and Brexit; Pete Evans and his $15k COVID light; Belt and Road; Mike Pence and a fly; a Vic gov arborist and the Djab Wurrung Directions Tree; Tiger King Joe Exotic and Carole Baskin; or superspreaders Peter Dutton and Tom Hanks.

For the tad more esoteric — one of Boris Johnson’s mystery children, a Wuhan wet market, the man fined for eating a kebab during lockdown, a muted Zoom call (or for risque readers, Jeffrey Tobin), Eddie Maguire at a Queensland strip club, a swooping magpie, stocked toilet paper, sexy hand sanitiser, home-made sourdough, a quarantini, Professor Pete Doherty’s iconic “Dan Murphy opening times” tweet, a beached whale in Tasmania, TikTok data, the patch of MCG grass that was moved to the Gabba for the AFL grand final or miserable ghost Malcolm Turnbull and his zombie polices (just repeat “if I had not been overthrown” ad nauseam).

That said … with the Queensland election falling on Halloween, depending on who you’re backing, the results coming from the Sunshine State could be spooky enough!

I made a killer Zoom Meeting costume for my daughter. #Halloween2020 pic.twitter.com/bdKbgGZcA5

— Greg Dietzenbach (@GregDietzenbach) October 21, 2020

Can’t get enough

Here’s another ‘stume suggestion — Liberal MP Ian Goodenough.

Ian Goodenough and his cowboy boots.

The West Australian has cult-like status around Parliament House for his deep voice and the mesmerising calendar he releases each year featuring photo shoots from around his electorate of Moore (the 2021 edition is coming in December).

The 45-year-old was once described by Anthony Albanese as “the human equivalent of stealth technology”. He turned sartorial heads this week when he fashioned a pair of $800 homemade black cowboy boots in question time.

Goodenough told Strewth he’s had the boots for 16 years, and has worn them once or twice a week in the corridors of power since his election in 2013.

It was only because of COVID distancing, which has seated a handful of pollies in additional chairs behind the green House of Representative benches, that the world caught sight of the black beauties.

Rhinestone Cowboy.

“I bought the boots in Fort Worth, Texas, at ML Leddy’s in 2004,” Goodenough explained.

“The company was established in 1922 as a cowboy outfitter, and notable clients include George Bush and JR Ewing (from Dallas). Similar heritage to RM Williams !”

Fellow Liberal John Alexander also owns a similar pair of ML Leddy’s that he bought 40 years ago.

Goodenough is also our resident watch expert — he was sporting a gold Rolex when Strewth stopped by his office — so we had to get his take on Christine Holgate putting the Cartier before the horse.

“That was interesting. I thought that the figure was a bit wrong when they said $12,000 for four. Maybe (Cartier) brought out a cheaper one,” mused the self-made millionaire, who owns seven properties. “The only lady I knew who wore one was Julie Bishop.”

Yee-haw!

So fly

Spotted in budget estimates — a rare smile from Foreign Minister Marise Payne! Roll the tape …

There’s never been a more exciting time...

Payne: “There’s no such thing as a (George) Brandis mistake.”

Labor senator Penny Wong: “Well he certainly thinks so … don’t distract me, senator.”

Payne: “I’m sure I’m not capable of that, senator.”

Wong: “I just got distracted by my memory of George.”

Payne (laughing): “Got distracted by my memory of George!”

Wong: “It was a negative memory.”

Payne: “Senator ,you wouldn’t mind if I bold that, highlight it, print it and send it by carrier pigeon to London, would you?”

Labor senator Tim Ayres: “I’ll just move that the last minute be stricken from the record.”

Wong: “I’d never thought I’d miss Eric but I did.”

Liberal senator Eric Abetz: “There you go. Be careful what you wish for.”

Wong: “I know, I know, it’s bad for my reputation.”

✉️🕊️ pic.twitter.com/1epFA99PGM

— Alice Workman (@workmanalice) October 29, 2020

Ho ho ho

Finally, more news from Danistan. When will the final report into Hotel Quarantina (you can check out anytime you like but you can never leave without COVID) be released? Four days before Christmas.

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