Strewth: War Memorial silent on devil-may-care Anzacs

Surely they weren’t expecting a reply? Noosa Temple of Satan attempts to crash future Anzac Day services.

Noosa gay rights activist Robin Bristow runs the Noosa Temple of Satan. Picture: Supplied.

The Noosa Temple of Satan — which Strewth revealed in January is run by former Sex Party candidate and LGBTI activist Robin Bristow — sent a letter to the Queensland RSL and Australian War Memorial last week. Written by Brother Samael Demo-Gorgon, it read: “The Noosa Temple of Satan is aware the Anzac Day 2020 service, due to the current pandemic, will be a televised event only. We have noted that historically services around the country have prominently featured acts of Christian worship and liturgics. As secularists, we believe the Anzac Day service should be a secular event. If Anzac Day is to retain a religious component, then Australian Satanists request we are granted equal access to all future services. We are aware that the proposed federal religious discrimination bill will protect and guarantee our rights in this regard. Please contact us in regards to Anzac Day 2021 so that we can start planning for our involvement. Please find attached below a prayer and virtual wreath to be included in this year’s service. Hail Satan!” Unsurprisingly, they’ve not heard back.

Beelzebub’s ballad

What is the Satanists’ Anzac Day prayer? “A bugle’s call breaks dawn’s silence, shrill. In the distance four horsemen on misty hill. The charge is led with swords held high. A vision of ghosts and demons is nigh …” If the comments on Facebook are anything to go by, the Noosa Satanists have the support of some Diggers. Lee Savage said: “As an ex-serviceman, I have no problems with this. I find Christian prayers to be hollow and deny the responsibility that belongs to the officers that saw fit to send their troops into a meat grinder.”

Non-prophet

Meanwhile, in Moreton Bay, the Samford Atheist Community will be part of their local Anzac Day service. The Samford RSL Sub Branch initially denied the atheists’ request to lay a wreath because the service was “formally officiated by a priest” and they “didn’t want to promote a group that actively shuns (religion)”. The RSL backed down after members pointed out there were many veterans with no faith who shouldn’t be excluded.

Losing my religion

Will 2021 be the year boomers finally return to their beloved cruise ships and Liberal senator Eric Abetz gets his religious freedom laws? Consultations closed in January but the bill still hasn’t been introduced to parliament. Abetz told Sky News it was understandably “on the backburner for the moment” but “religious freedom is a fundamental freedom enshrined in the UN’s protection of human rights” and he hopes “2021 is the year”. What say the Devil’s devotees? “Praise be to Scott Morrison — if his religious freedom bill is passed by parliament, it will open the gates of Hell on to the streets of Australia. We eagerly await developments from Canberra.”

Lest we forget biscuits

Deputy Prime Minister Michael McCormack’s favourite Anzac biscuit recipe comes from Robert Lawson, a soldier present at the Gallipoli landing. “The famous Anzac biscuits came about, so legend goes, because mothers, wives and girlfriends feared their men overseas were not getting sufficient nutritional value,” MickMack said. “Food supplies had to be shipped to Great War battlefronts and naval transportation was slow, so a recipe was formulated for the biscuit that would last the distance and pass the taste test.”

So get 1 cup each of plain flour, sugar, rolled oats and coconut; 115g butter; 1 tablespoon treacle (golden syrup); 2 tablespoons boiling water (add a little more water if mixture is too dry); and 1 teaspoon bicarb soda. Method: Line tray and preheat oven to 180C.

Combine dry ingredients. Melt together butter and golden syrup. Combine water and bicarb. Add to butter mix. Mix with dry ingredients. (Strewth recommends throwing in a sneaky handful of chopped rosemary and macadamia, left).

Drop teaspoons of mixture on to tray, allowing room for spreading. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes, depending on preference for chewy or crunchy. Allow to cool on the tray for a few minutes before transferring to a cooling rack. Makes about 30.

Make-up Monday

A complaint to contemplate from a reader: “How come WA and the ACT get a public holiday on Monday, but NSW, Vic, SA, Qld, Tas and the NT all have to go to work (admittedly from home)?”

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