Satanists play devil’s advocate with religious discrimination bill

The Noosa Satanists have weighed in on the proposed religious discrimination bill.

The Noosa Satanists have weighed in on the proposed religious discrimination bill. The “Noosa Temple of Satan” — whose Facebook page was created on December 8 and has more than 1120 followers — sent a submission to the Attorney-General’s Department on Sunday. Written by Brother Samael Demo-Gorgon, it reads: “Satanism has a message so powerful that we do not need laws to protect it. Simply put Noosa Satanists feel the proposed Religious Discrimination Bill is completely unnecessary and a waste of this federal government’s time. Having said that, should this parliament vote to enact this legislation then Satanists across Australia will aggressively use this law to ensure that we can access all the privileges it guarantees.” If the bill is passed, the Noosa Satanists say they will use their local federal MP, Nationals Llew O’Brien (who wasn’t keen to weigh in), and the court to defend their new-found rights — from access to street evangelism, public facilities and local grants, to school programs including breakfasts, chaplaincy, touring bands and weekend camps. The submission ominously signs off: “Satan has great plans for the future of Noosa and Australia and we intend to use every avenue available to us to reach our goals. Hail Satan!” As Labor leader Anthony Albanese told ABC Radio Melbourne on Monday: “Queensland is not just a coalmine!” Is it also the portal to the underworld?

For the hell of it

So, who is behind Noosa’s Temple of Satan and do they actually worship Beelzebub? Sunshine Coast LGBTQI activist and former Sex Party (now the Reason Party) candidate Robin Bristow tells Strewth it’s not a parody or political stunt, insisting he isn’t running for local council in the March poll. “The Noosa Temple of Satan was started last year,” Bristow says. “We are in ecumenical fellowship with Satanic Australia and have been active around this issue for a while.” According to Satanic Australia’s website, followers “revere Satan as a metaphorical figure who symbolises rebellion against tyrannical or arbitrary authority: personal sovereignty and rational scepticism”. They claim to fight for “Satanic change” such as access to euthanasia and abortion. In a press release on Sunday the Noosa chapter took a subtle dig at the Messiah from the Shire, Scott Morrison: “Unlike other religions that rely on thoughts and prayers Satanists are very active in our charity work.” Their first event this year? A blood donation drive, of course. The release continues: “Praise be Scott Morrison — if his Religious Freedom Bill is passed by parliament it will open the gates of Hell onto the Streets of Australia. We eagerly await developments from Canberra.” This must be what NSW Liberal senator Concetta Fierravanti -Wells meant when she argued everyone should have the right to freedom of religious speech in public or private.

Biblical storm

Is a plague of locusts heading for Canberra? After being swamped with smoke for the past month, the Bubble was bombarded with hailstones of biblical proportions on Monday. Birds fell from the sky after being hit by golf-ball-sized ice that “punctured the roof like bullets” at the National Film and Sound Archive and smashed every glasshouse at the CSIRO. What could have angered the gods so? Josh Frydenberg admitting he’s “not in a position to give a firm answer” on whether a budget surplus is still on the cards? Cory Bernardi finally sending his letter of resignation to the Senate? Former Australian War Memorial boss Brendan Nelson scoring a job with big donor Boeing? As one Strewth reader noted: “It is extremely cruel of our politicians to inflict all of this on us in January, a month when a lot of people are trying not to drink booze.” With parliament set to resume in two weeks, we can’t help but wonder: what time is the rapture?

Hellfire and damnation

In the calm before the storm, the Prime Minister hit the phones from his office in Canberra after four days of radio silence. On ABC AM, he was asked about the claim by NSW Environment Minister Matt Kean (the new dad behind carrot-dropping Operation Rock Wallaby) that federal Liberals “from different states, different factions” want Morrison to “take stronger action” on climate change. Quoth Morrison: “Matt Kean doesn't know what he’s talking about. Most of the federal cabinet wouldn’t even know who Matt Kean was.” They say ignorance is bliss, but in this case we think most in cabinet would know Kean from his 2018 sexting scandal when he was caught cheating by ex-girlfriend Caitlin Keage, who at the time was an adviser to PM Malcolm Turnbull.

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