Sex toy ploy to help animals in bushfire crisis

Is this what deputy National leader Bridget McKenzie meant by reverse pork barrelling?

Is this what deputy Nationals leader Bridget McKenzie meant by reverse pork-barrelling? Brisbane-based brand Geeky Sex Toys tweeted their plan to help out furry friends who had been impacted by the fires: “We’re proud to announce the Down-Under Donation Dildo! A new toy where 100 per cent of the profits will be donated directly to the relief efforts.” The $69 (of course) green and gold silicon DUDD — which, for those wondering, boasts a length of 5.5 inches and circumference of 4.25 inches — has the imprint of a koala and a map of Australia handle. They have already raised $22,000 from the handmade toys, which come with a cheeky tagline: “Helping has never felt so good!”

Punk Premier

Speaking of members … we hear a young Will Hodgman was once in a band called Dick Dagger and the Scrotes. Hodgman told The Australia’s man in the Apple Isle, Matthew Denholm, that: “It was so long ago, but that name does ring a bell …” Any mainlanders who think the outgoing Tasmanian Premier looks like a typical square conservative might be surprised to learn he had a colourful youth as a Hobart punk rocker. He fronted punk band Cactus, sporting pink hair and lyrics as blue as his blood. Cactus recorded an album and even supported 1990s mini-superstars Ratcat. As a high school student in 1986, Hodgman famously entered the Miss Sandy Bay Beach beauty contest. At the time he characterised it as a feminist protest, but more recently a silly prank. His successor will be revealed after a leadership ballot at midday on Monday.

Farming out hope

“Great guests, great communication and very tidy, had to leave early because of fires and lucky they did as the house burnt down” was the grim review left by Airbnb hosts Gladys and Greig for the last guests to stay at their $140-a-night, four-bedroom farm in Victoria’s Cudgewa Valley. The Rancho Relaxo High Country House burnt to the ground on December 30. The couple shared photos of the damage online saying: “The fires were so hot it will be amazing if anything comes back. But there is hope.”

Poster child

Queensland state Labor MP Duncan Pegg received a handwritten letter from a child in his South Brisbane electorate a few weeks ago. It read: “Dear Mr Pegg. I’ve drawn a mostache (sic) on your sign at [redacted]. It was very wrong of me. I am truely (sic) sorry of what I did and that it won’t happen again. I’ve washed it off so don’t worry and once again I truely (sic) am very very sorry. From [redacted].” Pegg kindly wrote back: “Dear [redacted], thank you for your letter. Over the years I have had a few moustaches drawn on my signs. You are the first person to apologise and make amends. Taking responsibility for your actions takes courage and I commend you for that. Everyone makes mistakes. I made some at your age too! The key is to learn from your mistakes. Thanks again for you letter. Apology accepted. Hope you enjoy the summer break! Duncan.” Pegg, 39, who recently revealed he has begun treatment for cancer, confessed to Strewth that his signs often end up, shall we say, victims of creative expression, but he assured us the kid in question did a good job cleaning up the stash and the poster looks as good as new.

Best wishes

Fingers crossed for a speedy recovery also go out to South Australian Labor senator Alex Gallacher, who was diagnosed with lung cancer this month just two days after his 66th birthday. Gallacher has been granted extended leave and will undergo chemotherapy sessions when federal parliament sits next month and in March. The former Transport Workers Union president and Right faction member, who was elected in 2010, has also temporarily stepped aside as the chair of the economics references committee, and deputy chair of the economics legislation committee and joint select committee on road safety.

Kean on parenthood

Backbencher Barnaby Joyce coined a new exclamation during his weekly argument with Labor’s Joel Fitzgibbon on Sunrise: “Oh my Godfather.” Was he offering his services, we wonder? Probably not for the latest Liberal baby. NSW Environment Minister Matt Kean (one of the brains behind Operation Rock Wallaby, which Strewth mentioned this week) says he’s “bursting with joy” after fiance Wendy Paterson gave birth to their first child, Thomas James Kean, on Sunday. Tom is named after two of his great grandfathers, but his Dad keenly noted: “St Thomas More is also the patron saint of politicians.”

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