A ban from Mrs Daniel Andrews

Melbourne has gone full Mean Girls. Catherine Andrews is staunchly standing by her man ... on social media.

Social media users beware!​

We regret to inform you that Melbourne has gone full Mean Girls.

Catherine Andrews is staunchly standing by her man … on social media.

This paper’s gun reporter Rachel Baxendale accidentally discovered she’s been blocked by Andrews, wife of Dictator Dan, on Twitter.

As had the Herald Sun’s state politics correspondent Alex White.

It seemed a bit bizarre to Baxendale (and a tad high school), as she couldn’t recall any recent interactions with Andrews — online or in real life — let alone negative ones.

However, requests to interview her throughout the Dandemic have been knocked back.

No deal.

For those unfamiliar with the free bird site, users are given the option to “mute” accounts, without others knowing, or “block”, which results in this message appearing: “@CathLAndrews blocked you. You are blocked from following @CathLAndrews and viewing @CathLAndrews’s Tweets”.

Both Baxendale and White have unfortunately become targets for the #IStandWithDan trolls, receiving death threats and unsolicited harassment (often misogynist in nature) for merely doing their jobs during the hour-long daily briefings.

“Because as one of them put it to me the other day, I haven’t asked ‘a single supportive question’ of the Premier lately’,” Baxendale told Strewth.

No Dorothy Dixers? Go figure!

A quick glance at Andrews’s account makes it appear she is not very active online with her 9054 followers — occasionally tweeting about art, sharing her husband’s official government messages or re-tweeting praise from Father Bob and Russell Crowe. But Andrews’s “likes” tell a different story.

In the past 24 hours she’s “liked” hundreds of #IStandWithDan tweets, including ones attacking journalists by name and their robust reporting.

When asked if the Andrews (Mrs) blocking spree was accidental or deliberate, Team Andrews (Mr) came back with a swift: “No comment”.

We’re all in this together.

Friends with benefits

Here’s Dandrews answering a solid question from Baxendale on why masks are mandatory in Victoria’s “single social bubble system” — where a friend can sleep over — but not when you’re getting down in Danistan.

“The very nature of a platonic relationship between two people who are coming together to spend time with each other, that’s very different to intimate partners, who by virtue of the fact that they are intimate partners, their contact is of a different nature.”

The practising Roman Catholic Premier blushed, hoping for a follow-up G-rated probe.

“Um, but, that’s … I can’t quite believe I am having to explain that. But I am. But I am stopping there because I don’t think that serves any greater purpose … 2020, it’s full of surprises.”

Can’t wait for that traffic light system.

.@DanielAndrewsMP explanation to a reporter as to why intimate partners don’t need masks during lockdown, is something I didn’t expect during covid pic.twitter.com/sK1jX0vfWx

— Brett Sutton Fan Club😷 #BLACKLIVESMATTER (@nick_spurway) September 8, 2020

Boogie nights

Spotted written on the floor of a Brisbane bar — “We live in the movie Footloose”.

For context, Queensland’s confusing COVID rules ban dancing at weddings, but allow sex clubs and sex parties — think swingers picking out keys from a bowl.

Under Annastacia Palaszczuk’s plan there’s no Saturday Night Fever at nightclubs.

And only the bride and groom, plus their parents, are permitted to cut a rug at any nuptials.

“You can listen to the music,” party pooper Palaszczuk suggested back in June when venues reopened, rolling her eyes as journos pointed out the obvious flaw in a lack of dance floor. There’s sure to be more crying at the discotheque.

Swingers club (sex club where you swap partners apparently. Car keys in a bowl???) are legal in Queensland but dancing at weddings isn’t. Covid madness? Not often I get a belly laugh out of the 8am @abcnews radio bulletin. 💃 🔑

— Ellen Fanning:Journo (@ellenmfanning) September 8, 2020

Ravellers not so smart

One of the golden rules of social media — be careful what you “like” on your work account.

For example, newbie independent senator Rex Patrick tweeted on Tuesday: “16 months ago I first called on @DFAT to upgrade @Smartraveller advice to warn of danger of arbitrary arrest in #China. DFAT didn’t issue a warning until 2 months ago. @MarisePayne’s statement today is a classic case of better late than never.”

And guess who liked it?

The good folk at Smartraveller (that’s not a typo, bafflingly there is only one t in the government-run agency).

Whoops!

A sign they too are frustrated by Foreign Minister Marise Payne’s tardy travel warning upgrade?

The faceless social media managers quickly realised their mistake, but accidentally liked the tweet a second time before removing their digital thumbs-up.

It seems the good folk at @Smartraveller are also frustrated by @MarisePayne’s and @dfat’s tardy travel warning upgrade #auspol https://t.co/3iQEZqf43z pic.twitter.com/BwNui1cdzF

— Rex Patrick (@Senator_Patrick) September 8, 2020

Make your bed

You know what they say — a hospital corner a day keeps the doctor away!

Here’s Dr Nick Coatsworth’s mental health advice to those in iso.

“One of the simplest things you can do in the morning, and this was said to me once (at) a leadership seminar by someone who is a very good leader, is make your bed,” the deputy Chief Medical Officer said.

“It sounds so simple but if you get into some structure and routine for the next two weeks while the restrictions are still in place, the stage four restriction still in place in Metro Melbourne and the surrounds, those sorts of achievable goals and structure can be very important to keep you on track.”

‘You’re going to want to tuck in the triangle-shaped lower drape between the mattress and box springs.’

Take your pick

Toowoomba Grammar School graduate David Littleproud is the latest to offer a fruitpicker plan, following the proposal to use prisoners by Liberal MP John Alexander.

“We’re going to see a lot of Year 12 students finish in a couple of months and they’re not going to have the opportunity to backpack around the world. There may be an opportunity for them to backpack around the country and make a quid while they’re doing it,” the Agriculture Minister said.

“Also those university students who’ll finish in a couple of months, the opportunity for them to go and work in agriculture and make a quid over the summer holidays and then go back with some dollars in their pocket.”

Joel fine with lab meat

Would Joel Fitzgibbon eat meat grown in a lab?

“Yeah, I would,” the Labor MP told 2CC radio.

Someone call LEAN, stat!

The coal hugger explained: “I was a bit surprised by a survey suggesting young people aren’t all that keen because I’ve always worked with the theory that while it seems like an abnormal thing for old blokes like me … my grandkids or great grandkids will not know any different, and therefore won’t challenge or question the idea. They will have grown up with it, so I think it will come and it will be a very, very important development, globally, not just here in Australia.”

Fitzgibbon clarified “I’m no greenie” but said that Australia “probably can’t grow the global animal herd for slaughter, much bigger — or maybe even sustain the current levels — in an environmentally sustainable way”.

So fake meat “will be an important means of making the way we live more sustainable environmentally”.

Best wishes today @KristyMcBain . Your hard work & your intelligent, sincere, genuine & high quality offering are sure to generate a great result #EdenMonaro @AustralianLabor pic.twitter.com/iyKW5kN34A

— Joel Fitzgibbon (@fitzhunter) July 3, 2020

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