Kevin Rudd’s cardboard cutout is still standing in Canberra

Deep inside the Canberra Bubble™, a disturbance in The Force has been detected ... and it seems Kevin Rudd is responsible.

Alice Workman

A cardboard cut-out of Emperor Palpatine ... sorry, Kevin Rudd (left) bears a freakish resemblance to Han Solo being from in carbonite, one punter reckons. Pictures: Supplied

4 min read

8:11PMAugust 02, 2020.

Updated 2:20PMAugust 03, 2020

Spotted in Parliament House — Kevin Rudd!

Well, sort of. One of Strewth’s spies sent us this ominous snap of the two-time Labor prime minister inside the Canberra Bubble™.

“Like Han Solo frozen in carbonite or one of those mosquitoes from Jurassic Park preserved in amber. There is a room in Parliament House where the cardboard cutout of Rudd from 2008 sits and waits,” they said.

Avid Question Time viewers may remember the life-size cut-out was carried into the House of Reps chamber by the then Liberal opposition after Kevin07 chose to visit a NSW Indigenous community and flood-ravaged Mackay instead of attending the rare Friday sitting in February.

2008, what a time to be alive.

It was waved about with programmatic specificity by Joe Hockey, only to be ruled out of order by then deputy speaker Anna Burke.

Isn’t it about time designer ugg-boot wearing Rudd was thrown into the recycling?

Fruits of his labour

Here’s Christopher Pyne’s take on the QLDer, in his political tome The Insider: “Rudd’s arrogance was so breathtaking that he couldn’t even see the floor when it rose up to hit him in the face.”

Turning the air blue

Across the ditch, National Nikki Kaye dropped a bomb in her valedictory speech on Friday.

“In 2016 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. And as I’ve said before my world broke. I tried to resign. And the only reason I was able to become education minister was that John Key, as I cried my eyes out, said ‘You’re not f..king going anywhere!’”

Sounds like the former Kiwi prime minister had a Rudd-y case of potty mouth!

Nikki Kayes f-bomb for anyone who missed it ðŸ‘‘ pic.twitter.com/aQpkSAGcnx
— Ethan Griffiths (@ethangriffy) July 30, 2020

I see red

Labor’s climate war continues to fray, with a weekend T-shirt stoush between Joel Fitzgibbon and Kristina Keneally.

“Great to get stuck into the gardening on this beautiful Sydney Saturday in my favourite red T-shirt,” Keneally tweeted at 9.56am, with a smiling shot of the senator in a Labor Environment Action Network tee.

Great to get stuck into the gardening on this beautiful Sydney Saturday in my favourite red T-shirt. pic.twitter.com/qRrYEpNxLh
— Kristina Keneally (@KKeneally) July 31, 2020

The former NSW Premier co-founded LEAN with Jenny McAllister to push the party into stronger climate change action.

Last week Fitzgibbon was hung out to dry by leader Anthony Albanese after accusing LEAN’s “fundamentalist” environment positions of being out of step with Labor values and preventing a federal election win.

Fitz also claimed the Greens had infiltrated Labor — “It’s been going on for a number of years now and I’ve grown tired of it.”

On Saturday arvo Fitz (the co-chair of the group nicknamed Parliamentary Friends of Coal) uploaded a photo of himself mowing the lawn in a rugby league jersey with a large NSW Mining logo.

“The Newcastle Knights & our mining industry, partnering to lift our spirits & to keep our economy strong,” he tweeted at 2.51pm, adding the hashtag #electricmower.

Knights fan Matt Dixon replied: “What’s wrong with a petrol lawnmower you hippie?” Five stars.

Whatâ€™s wrong with a petrol powered lawn mower you hippie?
— Matt Dixon (@MattDixon_WA) August 1, 2020

Labor frontbencher Jim Chalmers was asked about the shirts in his cupboard on Insiders, Sunday.

“Well first of all, I can‘t rock a t-shirt like Joel or KK can, and I have no interest whatsoever in prolonging the t-shirt war. Most of the old t-shirts in my cupboard have got a Bronco on them,” he said.

ACT blues

The Canberra Bubble™ wants to host the State of Origin.

Plans to hold the opening game at Adelaide Oval on November 4 could soon be abandoned by the ARL Commission due to South Australia’s mandatory 14-day isolation for interstate arrivals.

In a case of terrible timing, the NRL grand final is scheduled to kick off 10 days before Origin uno.

BYO Green snags.

Over the 40 years of SOO, a game has never been played in the home of the Viking cap.

But given the Raiders’ recent success (number five on the ladder) and lack of hard border, Canberra’s Bruce Stadium could be a compromise solution.

Game two is in Sydney on November 11 will take place in Sydney, and the decider is at Suncorp Stadium on November 18.

“I think everybody in the game accepts the model you play one game in Sydney, one game in Brisbane and one game somewhere else, and I‘m comfortable if that continues in a place like Canberra.” NSWRL boss Dave Trodden said.

Unfortunately for footy-mad federal MPs, November 4 doesn’t fall in a sitting week.

Mask on, mask off

“This mask and glasses thing is driving me insane!” bespectacled Foreign Minister Marise Payne was caught complaining on a hot mic to Defence Minister Linda Reynolds as the pair wrapped up a press conference in the United States.

Ironically, there was someone loudly coughing in the background.

Australia's Foreign Minister @MarisePayne succinctly expresses the view of bespectacled mask wearers the world over:

"This mask and glasses thing is just driving me insane"#auspol pic.twitter.com/9T70kw82jw
— Samuel Clark (@sclark_melbs) July 28, 2020

Prime Minister Scott Morrison posted a pic of himself masked up inside his car to Instagram on Sunday.

“Had to pop out to pick up a few things here in Sydney, so followed the NSW Premier’s advice announced earlier today (and put a mask on in the car before heading into the shops),” the caption read. “Protects others you come in contact with in enclosed areas, in particular the retail salespeople just doing their jobs. Not a lot to ask. All in this together.”