Premier Steven Miles, I have decided, is a man who is incredibly generous. Such is his capacity for giving to others that he is by far the most generous man in Queensland. In fact, he is the most generous man in Australia and could well be the most generous man in the southern hemisphere.
It has been only three months since Miles succeeded Annastacia Palaszczuk, yet in that brief period he has established a reputation for unparalleled munificence. Thinking of enrolling your kids in weekend sport? Miles is sending $150 your way. Are you a small business owner who could do with an energy rebate? Miles has $650 for you. On that note he is giving every Queensland household a $550 rebate on their electricity bill this year. And while he is at it, Miles is splashing out $4000 for every household that installs a solar battery. How generous is this bloke?
If you are a Queensland senior, that nice Mr Miles will give you a new pair of glasses. Are you a budding visual arts student? Come join the 10,000 students whose TAFE courses will be paid by Miles. Do you have children in high school? Miles will give you $337 to buy them textbooks. And forget those pre-school fees, for Miles will foot the bill. What you see before you is the philanthropist politician. The largesse he bestows on the masses flows from Miles like pus from an exploding pimple.
But alarmingly, an ignorant electorate fails to acknowledge that Miles is the great provider, or that he does so out of a sense of benevolence. In last weekend’s by-elections the ALP lost the formerly safe seat of Ipswich West to the LNP, suffering a 17 per cent swing. It has retained Palaszczuk’s former seat of Inala, but at the cost of a massive 21 per cent swing.
Far from appreciating that Miles lives and breathes altruism, the voters show every sign of not returning the favour this election year. You could not blame him for cursing the ingratitude of the plebs. They are indifferent to the many hours he has spent on social media telling them of his exceptional generosity.
It was a chagrined Miles who spoke to journalists on Sunday afternoon. Gone was the trademark grin and the cocky demeanour. To say he appeared forlorn is an understatement. If anything, he had the look and stoicism of a six-year-old who had just discovered that someone had pinched his bag of lollies. Conceding his government had been “sent a message”, he then tried to blame the LNP for the outcome.
“They’ve done very, very good at sensationalising and politicising crime for their own political benefit,” he whined.
Indeed, Premier. Shame on the Opposition and media for highlighting that you giggled when asked about burgeoning youth crime rates during a Queensland Media Club luncheon last month. Could it be that voters want their head of government to behave like an adult, instead of one who alternates between guffawing buffoon and king of the kids?
Those who bristle at Miles’s dishonest parroting of the phrase ‘We’re giving’ do so with good reason. As Treasurer Cameron Dick announced in December, the state’s projected total debt for 2026-27 has risen to $149.14bn. That estimate looks conservative following Auditor-General Brendan Worrall’s findings this month that falling coal prices worldwide would lead to a “substantial” decline in government royalties during the next four years. On top of that, employee expenses for Queensland’s bloated public service will rise to $32.18bn in 2023-24.
But to paraphrase a certain sporting motto, government debt will soon rise faster, higher and stronger than ever. Brisbane, at least officially, will host the 2032 Olympics. This does not sit well with most Queenslanders, with a poll in November revealing only 38 per cent believe it to be a sound idea.
Yet surely this does not reflect poorly on Palaszczuk or Miles, then deputy premier, for their decision to bid in 2021. What warning signs could have been obvious to them that this should be avoided, other than the fact this invitation had dog’s breakfast written all over it, together with their knowledge that no other country had lodged a formal bid? When your state is tentatively emerging from COVID and trying to stave off economic ruin, it makes perfect sense to spend obscene sums of public money on a two-week vanity-fest.
As for the government’s planning for the Olympics, the kindest that can be said is that things could be worse if Burkina Faso, Venezuela, or South Sudan were hosting the Games. Miles was infrastructure and state development minister when Brisbane secured the rights, and he foremost is responsible for the planning debacles of the last three years.
If the late John Clarke were alive, he would have observed that Miles and Co had mistaken his superb mockumentary ‘The Games’ as the benchmark for Olympic planning. The shilly-shallying reached epic proportions this week with the announcement that Miles had rejected an independent review by former Brisbane Lord Mayor Graham Quirk which recommended the razing and rebuilding of the Gabba be scrapped in favour of constructing a $3.4bn stadium in inner-city Victoria Park.
Having said in January that he would accept the recommendations of this review, Miles has shown himself to be untrustworthy as well as comically erratic. What he envisages infrastructure-wise is best described as the Homebrand Olympics. The Gabba II, which Miles enthusiastically declared just eight months ago to be “the best value for money”, is no more. Suncorp Stadium will be used for the opening and closing ceremonies. The centrepiece athletic events will be held at the Queensland Sport and Athletics Centre, which was the venue for the 1982 Commonwealth Games and has capacity for only 40,000 spectators.
No doubt Miles hoped the allocation of $1.6bn for revamping QSAC would be a quick fix distraction. Already Quirk has panned that decision, saying it “does not demonstrate value for money and is very hard to justify”. It would provide no “significant legacy benefit” to the region. But as we know, the only significant legacy benefit that interests Miles is his inflated pension.
It gets even more ridiculous. As reported yesterday, State Development Minister Grace Grace conceded the government had not investigated or costed mass public transport to QSAC in making its decision. The esteemed minister and her boss had forgotten there is no trainline within cooee of this venue. Already the estimated costs of addressing this range around $500m.
Spare a thought for the risk assessors of the International Olympic Committee, whose members had, until recently, believed that a new pandemic was the biggest threat facing the Games. Only two months ago Miles wrote to the IOC, assuring that body that his government would honour its commitment. But just this week Nine News reported the government had secretly sought advice about reneging, a claim that Miles did not deny when asked in parliament yesterday. The only way this could get sillier is if Miles sent former Victorian premier Daniel Andrews to Lausanne to tell the IOC that Labor premiers always honour their word.
My suggestion for an alternative venue is straightforward. Miles should commission the manufacturing of the world’s biggest circus tent. It will be cheaper and more efficient than what he has planned, less humiliating, and one befitting his government.
Whatever Miles does, his electoral fate appears certain. As far as voters are concerned, Giggles is to good government what social influencers are to essential industries. So much for his claim upon assuming his current position that he was “more of a show than tell kind of person”.
In one respect he is correct. You have shown the public exactly what your government is made of, Premier. And the voters, holding their noses, have responded accordingly.
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