Porn, cigs and gambling: who said F1’s gone woke?
While FIA president Ben Sulayem says drivers will be fined for swearing, he’s happy for F1 teams to be associated with tobacco, gambling and porn stars.
It’s green light on and the bunny’s away at 1pm next month on the bumpy streets of Aughtie and Lakeside Drives, Albert Park, the Logan City of Victoria.
Only one team, Aussie owned, has had a porn actress as part of its marketing. Only one team, has a woke, anti-petrol Australian sponsor. And only one team’s former engineer, an Australian, now makes the world’s best croissants.
Porn, wokeism and croissants only highlight the rich Australian culture permeating the whole of the F1 circus. We may have three drivers, Brighton lad Oscar Piastri, Goldy lad Jack Doohan and perhaps sandgroper Daniel Ricciardo but it’s a long time between drinks for our fair country.
The last Australian to win an F1 worlds was Alan Jones 45 years ago. Before that Jack Brabham won three and was the only driver to do it in his own car.
Melbourne mates Ed Craven and Bijan Tehrani founded Stake, the world’s largest crypto-backed online casino in 2017, and Kick in 2022 and have invested some of their $4.2bn in buying the naming rights to the Kick Sauber F1 team.
The New York Times calls Kick “the Wild West of livestreaming – where seemingly any kind of content goes”. And porn has been a big part of the content both Stake and Kick have been associated with.
Earlier this month Stake told the world it was giving up its UK gambling licence after complaints about an online ad starring English born but former Australian resident, porn actress Bonnie Blue.
The ad was never promoted by an official Stake account but featured the Stake logo. In the post, Ms Blue is standing outside a university saying she was there to “sleep with 180 barely legal 18-year-olds”. Taking its responsibilities seriously the online ad did carry the “gamble responsibly” message.
Earlier this year Ms Blue said she had sex with 1057 men in one day.
Unsurprisingly, the soap dodgers at the UK gambling commission don’t fully appreciate modern marketing techniques. Stake decided to leave the very conservative Great Britain after the commission launched an investigation.
Ed and Bijan’s Ferrari-engined Kick Sauber team had a consistent racing record last year.
In 24 races the team came a robust last, scoring four points in one race and zero in the other 23.
Coming in a good second last in 2024 was the Mercedes-powered Williams Team with 17 points.
So to turbo their performance Team Williams have teamed up with an Australian tech giant Atlassian, which has teamed up with the Mersey-based online casino company Super Group, market cap $4bn, to be title sponsors. Atlassian, market cap $82bn, whose motto “Working for social and environmental progress in whatever we do” was founded by two Sydney lads, Mike Cannon-Brookes and Scott Farquhar.
This week, The Australian’s Jared Lynch said that “F1 is one of the most carbon intensive sports, emitting more than 256,000 CO2 equivalent tonnes in 2019 – the year it launched its new green strategy, which included hitting net zero by 2030”.
Mike Cannon-Brookes said, “I’ve had some really positive conversations with the FIA (Federation Internationale de l’Automobile) on their plans to get to net zero. F1 can set a great example to the world of sport of what’s possible.” Going on past performance the only example F1 can set is hypocrisy.
Ed, Bijan and Mike have followed Perth billionaire Laurence Escalante’s Virtual Gaming Worlds into the F1 sponsor caper.
VGW is basically an online gambling company. In 2023, VGW became a Premium Partner of Ferrari’s F1 team joining other socially responsible sponsors like Philip Morris International, a multinational committed to delivering a smoke-free future. Phil Morris also makes combustible brands like Marlboro and Chesterfield.
Over at McLaren, British American Tobacco, makers of Dunhill, Camel (the only cigarette pack with a photo of the factory on the front) and Rothmans are proud partners. BAT also have traditional oral and modern oral products. Nup, not going there.
Despite all the sin industry involvement (and I am all in favour of sin), F1 under FIA president Mohammed Ahmad Sultan Ben Sulayem, who many say is the Donald Trump of motorsport, is going more woke.
This month, Ben said he is committed to eradicating swearing in the sport.
Things got so bad that late last year the F1 drivers association wrote to Ben saying, “Our members are adults, they do not need to be given instructions via the media about matters as trivial as the wearing of jewellery and underpants.”
The jewellery ban referred to Hamo and the knickers ban could have been anyone of the 20 drivers.
Australian F1 champ Alan Jones was wedded to his lucky red ones. Anyway, Ben wants every driver to wear fireproof undies. You know about the heat in the kitchen.
But it’s not only swearing and knickers. Drivers will be hit with huge penalties for “any words, deeds or writings that have caused moral injury or loss to the FIA, its bodies, its members or its executive officers”.
Now Ben hasn’t said a word about the FIA itself or the teams, only the drivers. Is yelling fudge over the radio worse than promoting ciggies, gambling or porn?
Time for croissants.
Australian aerospace engineer Kate Reid designed cars for Williams before the toxic F1 culture got to her and she came back to Melbourne.
She wanted to bake but decided making vanilla slices and buttered finger buns was too easy, so she became an apprentice in a small Paris bakery.
Now she has the same long lines outside her seven Lune stores in Melbourne, Brisbane and Sydney for her $7 croissants that Hermes does for its $1k scarfs.
New York Times food critic Oliver Strand called Lune croissants “the finest you’ll find anywhere in the world”.
jc@jcp.com.au
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