This might be a five-star paradise, but its airport is a dismal one star

The airport

Faa’a (Papeete) International Airport (PPT), Tahiti.

Faa’a International Airport in Papeete, Tahiti.Credit: Alamy

The flight

Air Tahiti VT35 from Papeete to Rarotonga (RAR), Cook Islands.

The arrival

The airport is seven kilometres west of central Papeete, which takes 20 minutes on the airport shuttle or 10 in a taxi. Most people transfer from outlying resorts, however. I’m on an organised transfer from a cruise ship, so have no hassles.

The look

To suggest this airport has a look is to raise false hopes. Nothing attracts the eye but a large open-air car park and the tumult at the terminal’s kerb. You might imagine characters from a disaster movie fleeing with all their worldly goods, but it’s only dishevelled tourists crammed into a space created for a fraction of their current numbers. The best look is on take-off, which showcases the fabulous lagoon that flanks the runway.

Check-in

Prepare for queues to move at a glacial pace.Credit: Alamy

Many check-in counters are right in front of the drop-off area, undercover but open-air. That was no doubt terrific when the airport opened in 1960. Now snaking queues and baggage from coaches pile up like salvage from a shipwreck and block lateral movement. I discover that my flight unaccountably uses domestic check-in, hidden around a corner at the terminal’s far end. It’s unbearably hot and has long sluggish queues, but I’m mollified by the check-in charm of a Polynesian staff member.

Security

My reprieve is short-lived. The immigration queue is sweltering. Wall fans aren’t up to the task of relieving the humidity. Everyone sweats and wafts their faces with boarding passes. We move at a glacial pace, though at least, once beyond passport control, that spaces out the passengers at security, which is swiftly completed.

Food + drink

The departure concourse is open to a small garden dotted with palm trees. The only food option is an outlet of ho-hum French chain Columbus Cafe, which has uncomfortable metal chairs and – of course – another queue. It has an impressive coffee machine but rather limp-looking pastries.

Retail therapy

A small duty-free store, although open to the indoor-outdoor departure lounge, does have a trickle of air-conditioning that invites you to linger among the perfume jars. I’m tempted to press a cold vodka bottle to my forehead. A classy souvenir store sells handicrafts, wood carvings, jewellery, and the sorts of woven bags that are confiscated at Australian quarantine.

Passing time

The men’s toilets are both dirty and broken. The lounge is crowded, but hidden away upstairs is a cramped first-floor waiting area haunted by barely a soul. It has work desks with rechargers, a kids’ corner scattered with outsized toys, and windows overlooking the runway. After all your queueing, however, you’ll likely be staggering straight across the tarmac towards your plane.

The verdict

Tahiti – paradise once you’re outside the airport.Credit: Alamy

French Polynesia is glorious, but for a destination that positions itself at the luxury end of the market and charges accordingly, the airport is a dismal experience. As they’d say in the Eurovision Song Contest: nul points.

Our rating out of five

★

The writer travelled courtesy of Oceania Cruises. See www.oceaniacruises.com