This dismal airport is confusing and charmless

The airport

Dublin Airport, DUB

The airport is as grey as the country’s skies.

The flight

Emirates EK162 from Dublin to Dubai (DXB).

The arrival

If there were awards for the most unsurprising combination of grey metal and concrete, flyovers and multi-storey car parks, this airport would win gold. Any notion of attractive design is entirely absent, not helped by Ireland’s grey skies. Surprisingly, for a country of eternal rain, the drop-off area isn’t totally covered, and dampness results as I clamber out of my transfer car.

The look

The style is dated provincial shopping mall. While duty-free souvenir shops hawk every notion of supposed Irish charm, charm is entirely absent in the building’s infrastructure and organisation. Its multiple levels only create confusion in three dimensions.

Check-in

The airport’s style is dated provincial shopping mall.

I’m barely inside before I’m stumbling right into the endless check-in lines blocking people moving around. But I’ve been deposited three hours before my flight, so there’s no queue for me and I quickly have my boarding pass.

Security

Departure gates are two flights up long escalators: okay for travel-light me, but a struggle for families with small children and carry-on luggage. Security is swift thanks to automatic trays and no need to take out laptops and phones. Strangely, belts have to come off, though. “They’ll be telling you to take your T-shirt off next,” says the security guard.

Food + drink

No shortage of places to eat and drink. Two of the most popular venues appear to be Butlers Chocolate Cafe and the more expansive The Fallow which has a substantial bar and overlooks the tarmac. An upstairs food hall offers Thai and Mexican street food and an overcrowded Burger King. Proceed onwards from this central hub and more eateries hunker near distant gates.

Retail therapy

You’ll find all the usual souvenirs at Dublin Airport.

Buy yourself the usual suspects: a bestseller, some Oil of Olay, headphones, overpriced chocolates. Wrights of Howth has “famous smoked salmon” and a Guinness store offers branded sweatshirts, caps and mini-caramels. This is also your last chance to buy green Irish souvenirs: official rugby jerseys, socks emblazoned with sheep, leprechaun fridge magnets, and T-shirts with politically incorrect slogans about drinking and the luck of the Irish.

Passing time

The Irish Whiskey Collection has a tasting counter if you wish to numb the grimness of modern air travel – and you will in Dublin Airport, with its long corridors, multiple levels linked by snaking escalators, and gates with completely inadequate waiting areas packed with travellers. Getting from security to the departure gate is like an escape-room challenge — even crew look dazed. Leave plenty of time to navigate your way through endless corridors.

The verdict

Brace yourself. This overcrowded airport is gloomy and tired, and by the time you board your plane, you will be, too.

Our rating out of five

★★

The writer travelled as a guest of Collette. See gocollette.com/en/find-your-tour