Ten things you should never say to your partner on holidays

Did I say something wrong? Credit: iStock

This will probably make your relationship. This holiday will define who you are as a couple, it will bring you together, it will show your true colours, it will bond you as people and as partners. Or, of course, it will break it.

Welcome to travel with a significant other. Welcome to romantic getaways that don't always turn out that way. With Valentine's Day upon us once again, and couples across Australia planning holidays together, here are the 10 phrases you really shouldn't utter when you're travelling with your partner.

"I think I might have stuffed up …"

Not ideal, is it? Hearing that your partner booked the wrong hotel, or the wrong room, or forgot the restaurant booking, or lost their passport, or put the car keys somewhere and now can't remember where that was? For the ideal romantic getaway, don't come to your partner with problems. Come to them with problems solved. In other words, if it's your fault, deal with it.

"Didn't you pack the iPad?"

I understand there are those who look down on parents who rely on screens to keep their kids occupied during long plane flights or boring restaurant meals and the like. And to those people I say: whatever. Sometimes, iPads are invaluable. In the time it takes to consume Toy Story or Frozen or about 20 episodes of Bluey, you can get a whole lot done. So, what you really do not want to hear from your partner is that they forgot to bring said iPad and you now have no entertainment for your restless kids for the next few hours.

"I dunno, you decide"

This is the worst. Travel requires constant decisions: where to go today, how to get there, where to eat, what to order, where to stay, and so on, and so on. When one person in your partnership decides to just check out from that decision-making, under the pretence that they're so easy-going they don't mind what happens, they are actually loading their partner up with all the mental grunt work. Time to step up.

"Great news! My mum is going to meet us in ..."

There's a brilliant scene in the TV series The White Lotus, set in a high-end Hawaiian resort, in which Shane, the American jock on his honeymoon with beautiful Rachel, announces that his mother is going to drop in for a visit. Unless you have set this up this beforehand and you are 100 per cent sure that everyone in the arrangement is cool and comfortable, do not spring a visit from the in-laws on your partner during a romantic holiday. Do. Not.

"The girls/guys here are pretty hot, huh?"

Easy, there. It's bad enough that you're wandering around leering at all the locals, let alone sharing that fact with your significant other. Maybe just, you know, concentrate on them?

"Are you right to look after the kids today?"

Travelling with kids is hard – particularly if they're young kids. And there's nothing wrong with organising time away from them if you and your partner are happy to share solo parenting duties. The problem comes when one person in the relationship just goes ahead and books in that round of golf or that scuba-diving trip or that afternoon by the pool without discussing it. So, see you guys at dinner? I don't think so.

"I wouldn't go in the bathroom for while"

Travel will probably be the most romantic thing you and your loved one will ever do together, an act that will bring you closer to that person than you have ever been before. That closeness can be truly wonderful. It can also be kind of gross. As you will soon discover, hotel rooms can be very small, and unfamiliar food can do funny things to a person. Just, try to leave the bathroom in a fit state.

"You're better than me at organising stuff"

This is up there with the old, "I dunno, you decide" response. Once again, if you're handing the organisational reins to your partner with the lame excuse that you're just not as good at this stuff as he or she is, then you're checking out of all the labour. You're giving yourself a pass on a whole heap of work that definitely needs to be done. And you probably won't even recognise that fact.

"This is where I proposed to my ex"

We've all got history. We've all done things with other people in other places and those memories are bound to pop up. But you probably don't need to share with your current beau that this was the exact spot you had a very profound and romantic moment with another person.

"You should have been here last time"

This is the worst, even if you're not in a relationship. No one wants to know that last time you were here, this city or attraction was better. No one cares that it's been spoiled, in your opinion; that there are too many tourists now, that it was off the beaten track back in the day. Maybe it was. Maybe that's all true. But you don't have to tell anyone.

See also: ​I don't go on 'holidays' any more. I have kids

See also: The best places (and times) to go in 2022