I’m a flight attendant and I don’t want to hear you whingeing about kids

I’m incredibly irritated by this woman on the plane who seems determined to make eye contact with me. I watched her as she walked down the aisle, her eyes landing on the mother and baby settling into the bulkhead row. She huffed loudly, as if confronted with the worst possible scene ahead of a long-haul flight.

Fortunately, the mother’s back was to her, sparing her the indignity of being treated like nuclear waste. But I, ever the observant flight attendant, was perched by the boarding door, watching the whole scene unfold and feeling a deep, anonymous irritation toward this woman, mixed with sympathy for the mother.

Children have a right to be on planes.Credit: iStock

At that moment, the affronted woman caught my gaze and attempted to engage me with body language that screamed, “Can you believe this?” She threw her arms in the air and let out an exasperated sigh. In the unwritten code of non-verbal communication, I was supposed to respond with a similar gesture of understanding, signalling, “Yep, I hear you, sister.” But I don’t. Instead, I stare back at her blankly, hoping she gets the message: No, ma’am. In this situation, you are the problem.

You would be surprised by the number of people who treat the mere presence of children on flights as if they were being forced to sit next to a serial killer. I’ve noticed that convicted felons often attract less disdain than a baby. I have frequently been on flights where criminals are extradited, strapped to the backseat like Hannibal Lecter and no one bats an eye. But a baby? How dare the airline infringe upon my right to a baby-free zone!

Changing economy

One of the most significant shifts I’ve witnessed in my nearly decade-long career as an international flight attendant is how acceptable it has become to express annoyance toward children for merely existing. Some airlines have even sought to cash in on the hostility, launching kid-free zones on their jets, which passengers can choose at check-in (for a fee).

How did we become a world where people want insufferable brats to be removed from their sight (and earshot)?

A lot of it seems to stem from the changing economy and the reality that Millennials are increasingly choosing not to have children, sending birth rates plummeting. Millennials are not procreating at the same rates as previous generations, and as a Millennial myself, I believe I understand why: we simply can’t afford to.

With the ongoing cost-of-living crisis, unaffordable rent and the near impossibility for many of us to reach traditional milestones of adulthood such as home ownership and marriage, who has the spare change to feed a little human for the next 20 years? I can barely feed myself. The idea of raising children has shifted dramatically, and the societal perception of children has morphed into something almost adversarial.

Status symbols

One of the most interesting shifts I have noticed among my peer group is the divergence between those who have hit the adulting milestones and those who haven’t. I remember speaking to a friend a few years ago and asking if she would like to have children. She was 38 at the time and struggling to forge a career in the arts. She looked at me wistfully, “I’d love to …” Fast-forward to our last meeting; she’s now 42 and considerably more cynical. Now working in a setting that attracts a lot of children, when I ask her what it’s like, she turns up her nose as if she’s just sniffed something foul; “Ew, kids. Disgusting.”

Having children these days has become so unaffordable for many that they are viewed as the new status symbols. If you can actually afford to feed and clothe a little human, you must be doing well in life. For anyone who has been robbed of this opportunity by circumstances and the economy, it must be a bitter pill to swallow. It’s perhaps easier to console oneself with the notion that they are annoying little brats anyway.

Back to the irritated woman on the plane: she is now playing a game that passengers often engage in when they’ve clearly upset the flight attendant. She’s competing for the best passenger ever award, picking up rubbish, politely passing me her neatly packed tray and requesting the meal that’s easiest for me to serve.

I get it; she must be feeling bad. Maybe I was too hard on her. For all the disdain for children, there may be a deeper concern lurking beneath the surface: the swathes of Millennials who have been deprived of the opportunity to have children due to financial insecurity and an unstable future.

I give her an extra bottle of water and top up her wine. After all, if she’s going to be stuck next to a baby for the duration of her flight, she might as well enjoy the experience.

The Telegraph, London