Flying with family or friends? Here’s why you might end up seated apart

What airline would separate a nine-year-old child from their parents?

For more than a decade, Traveller reader Mark Hardy of Seaforth, NSW, had been a faithful customer of China Airlines, the Taiwanese national flag carrier, but that ended abruptly earlier this year. On a New Year’s Eve flight from Sydney to Taipei, Hardy, his wife and nine-year-old daughter were seated at opposite ends of the cabin, many rows distant from one another. Despite selecting seats when he made the booking in mid-2024, “China Airlines seated our young child far from us on all four flight legs, including two nine-hour overnight flights,” Hardy wrote in a letter to Traveller.

If you don’t pre-book your seats, you may find yourself seated away from your family or travel companions.Credit: iStock

“Somehow, our selections were changed, and their inflexible policy ignored our concerns about our child’s welfare. At check-in, there was no resolution. Onboard, I asked the cabin crew to assist, as our daughter’s seat was well out of our sight. Though I was assured she would be cared for, she was not. She repeatedly sought help but was ignored.”

What airline seats a nine-year-old child far from either of their parents, especially on a long, overnight flight? It’s uncaring, unnecessary and totally out of order. No surprise Hardy has jettisoned his long-standing preference for China Airlines.

There are times when an airline must rearrange seating at short notice. If you miss a connecting flight your seat booking on that flight disappears, or if there’s a change of equipment, say to a smaller aircraft, booked seats need to be reallocated. It could follow that a seat booking gets scrambled and a family is separated, especially if the surnames on the booking are different. But that’s a problem that should be rectified at the check-in desk, or at the very least at the gate.

How airlines allocate seats

Airlines generally try to seat children with a parent, but it doesn’t always work out that way.Credit: iStock

After the pre-booked seats have been accounted for, airlines use different methodology for deciding who sits where. Typically, the system will distribute passengers throughout the aircraft according to the number of available seats to achieve a desired weight balance. Rather than a random allocation, some airlines will favour certain customers, for example, assigning better seats to higher-status flyers or based on the fare class of the ticket.

At the online check-in, or at the check-in desk, if your seats have been changed so that you’re no longer seated together, you need to address the problem straight away. Most airlines are sympathetic to families travelling with young children.

According to Qantas, the airline’s first preference is always to seat families together. If that’s not possible, the airline ensures every child is seated with at least one adult in their group.

Virgin Australia echoes this, stating “Virgin Australia always prioritises seating children with their parent or guardian when they are travelling on the same booking. If guests are booked separately, they may be allocated different seats. In these cases, we encourage guests to contact our Guest Contact Centre or speak with our team at the airport. We will do our best to seat them together or with at least one travelling companion or in the same row.”

On its website, Jetstar says “We do our best to seat families together when we allocate seating and we’ll make sure that young children are seated with a parent or guardian, but we can’t guarantee you’ll be all together. That’s why it’s best to select your seats when you book your flights.”

On its website, China Airlines states, “Children aged between 2 years – under 12 years old must be accompanied by an adult aged 18 or older,” but there’s nothing to say these children will be allocated a seat beside at least one parent. When it seated Hardy, his wife and daughter in different areas of the aircraft it wasn’t breaking any of its own rules.

No airline regulatory authority mandates that parents be seated with young children, but there’s a common thread. On its Travelling with Children website, Australia’s Civil Aviation Safety Authority notes “Airline seat allocation procedures for family groups, children and infants aims to seat children close to their parents or guardians. Where this is not possible, an airline might separate children by no more than one seat row or aisle away from their accompanying adults.”

The EU has a similar recommendation and according to a 2022 notice from the US Department of Transport, “Airlines should do everything that they can to ensure the ability of a young child (age 13 or younger) to be seated next to an accompanying adult (over age 13) family member or other accompanying adult, without charging fees for adjacent seating.”

Parents asking other passengers to change seats to allow them to sit beside their child hasn’t yet become a phenomenon in Australia, but according to social media reports, it is in some countries. If the passenger refuses to move there might be a boilover when the parent leverages the parent-privilege card. It’s not up to the passenger to have to change seats, especially not if they’re being asked to move from a premium seat they’ve paid for to a lesser seat. It’s an airline problem, and it’s up to the crew to sort it out.

If you’re travelling as a family with young children you need to pre-book seats when you book your flight ticket. Some airlines will allow families to choose adjacent seats without paying a fee, others can charge anything from $5-$100 per seat – which can add up when you’re having to do it for multiple passengers across multiple flights. If you haven’t pre-booked your seats, do it as soon as online check-in opens, usually 24 or 48 hours before departure.

Have you been separated from your family or travelling companions on a flight? Share your stories in the comments below.