Europe’s biggest buzzkill airport has football pitch-sized wastelands

The airport

Frankfurt (FRA), Terminal 1

A good place to leave: Frankfurt Airport Terminal 1.Credit: Adobe

Despite being regularly tagged as “Europe’s Most Hated Airport” in aviation chat forums and on travel lists thanks to marathon distances, confusing signage, a labyrinth design and a distinct lack of soul, Frankfurt Airport is the world’s top performer in terms of hub connectivity. It offers the most destinations to transfer passengers on direct connecting flights, with more than 90 airlines flying to 311 destinations in what is also Europe’s sixth-busiest airport.

The flight

Frankfurt to Athens on Aegean Airlines

The arrival

Frankfurt airport has a singular strength (but it’s a good one): its own long-distance train station links the airport with Germany and the rest of Europe. Being disgorged from an ICE (Inter-City Express, the Deutsche Bahn high-speed service), it’s an easy 10-minute internal walk to Terminal 1 Departures. It could only be simpler if you were flying Lufthansa and using their Bag Drop directly at the station exit (which I often eye enviously) and a Rail & Fly ticket. This discounted train ticket is available through multiple airlines via a partnership with Deutsche Bahn and can deliver you 500 kilometres away to Hamburg for almost half price.

The look

The “most hated” moniker is a bit harsh, but it definitely wins “Biggest Buzzkill”. In Frankfurt’s defence, it’s clean and floor-to-ceiling windows usher in light. But instead of augmenting travel joy like Singapore’s Changi, the extreme distances, cavernous walkways, and dreary design built to manage the annual 61 million passengers make it a real spielverderber (party pooper).

A silver lining: Frankfurt Airport Railway Station.Credit: Adobe

Check-in

As the national carrier hub, this is Lufthansa-land hence Lufthansa friends aka Star Alliance members like Aegean (my lucky day) are in easy-access Terminal 1. The outpost of Terminal 2 is for everyone else, including Emirates and Etihad, involving a 10-minute bus ride from a bus stop with wind tunnel-like properties where horizontal rain whips in winter.

Security

Security is wildly unpredictable, either blissfully empty like today or so rammed I’ve had to rip off my scarf from heat-induced panic (avoid the morning business-commuter period). But polite and secure it is, with permanent gun-toting, flak-vested polizei with dogs.

Food + drink

For such a gigantic airport, why am I so hungry? If breakfast bratwursts or pretzels aren’t your thing, a Frankfurt Airport layover is like being in The Hunger Games with few, unappetising food outlets. An exception is the Asian noodle bar Mosch Mosch in the outer universe of gate E2. I hunted Gold Star Alliance (involving a points run to Athens and back in a day) mainly to access the Lufthansa Lounge salad bar (and have Fast Track for those busy security days).

Retail therapy

German function kills holiday excitement at this bare-bones airport. It’s as huge as an intergalactic-sized shopping mall but without the fun stuff. There are generic electrical shops, Relay (for magazines), duty-free stores, and Germany-themed shops. I’ve never sighted the airport’s advertised personal shoppers in more than 100 visits (this is my closest airport), assuming they’re napping from boredom or pretzel-induced sugar lows.

Passing time

Bring a book. It lacks any nooks, bar a few carb-crumb decorated reclining chairs (pretzels!). The most exciting distraction is landside: the thrill of watching the gigantic Solari boards dominating the three-storey Departures atrium. Nothing screams “travel” more than the clatter of these old-school departure boards flipping letters and numbers, crammed with 100 flights departing worldwide in a two-hour time frame. The most unnerving pandemic moment was seeing the giant boards of this global nerve centre showing two flights.

One more thing …

Terminal 3, one of the largest infrastructure projects in Europe, opens next year, future-proofing the airport for an additional 19 million passengers. The €4 billion ($6.8 billion) build promises to deliver an architectural and food-laden improvement costing more than the modern marvel that is Abu Dhabi’s Zayed International Airport.

The verdict

It works. Staff are polite, but a lack of character and football pitch-sized wastelands make this a dour start to any holiday.

Our rating out of five

★★½

The writer travelled as a guest of The Myconian Collection. See myconiancollection.gr