Never eat pizza with pasta: The 16 rules of dining in Italy

Table manners in Italy really come down to “la bella figura”, which is fundamental to the Italian DNA: that is, to make a good impression, be well-mannered and always on your best behaviour.

DO ...

Dining in Venice.Credit: Alamy

Follow the order Italians eat in. A meal typically starts with an antipasto, such as bruschetta, cheese and salumi or fried treats. Then comes the primo, which is your pasta or rice course. The secondo can be considered a main course and is usually a meat or fish dish (or a vegetable dish for vegetarians). It is served with a contorno (a side dish that’s normally a vegetable or salad) of your choice. There’s dolce (dessert) to finish, followed by coffee. Very last comes a digestivo or amaro, a liqueur to aid digestion.

Ask waitstaff what dishes are local or typical to the area. They’ll be more than happy to help and, if you’re in a group, to guide your ordering.

Leave a tip, especially for good service. If you’re charged coperto (cover charge), a round up to the nearest euro or some coins are appreciated. If you’ve been charged servizio (service charge) too, tipping is up to you. In any case, it’s not obligatory and should never be automatically applied to a bill (but it sure is welcome). Note: many eftpos machines in Italy still don’t allow for tipping, so keep some cash on you.

Italian ritual of “la scarpetta”, mopping up the sauce on your plate with bread.Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

Feel free to wipe up sauce on your pasta plate with bread, depending on your location. This action is affectionately known as la scarpetta (little shoe). It’s more than welcome at casual restaurants, trattorie and in the home, but less so at formal or fine-dining venues.

Expect to be in for the long haul. Dining in Italy is an indulgent pastime, never to be confused with eating as a function. I’d say hurrying off is OK if you’re in a casual outlet, travelling solo or at an airport. Otherwise, it can be considered rude to rush wait staff.

Have the sommelier help choose wine to perfectly match your meal. Or at a more casual restaurant, ask the waitstaff for something local.

Expect to head to a bar for a post-meal coffee ...as some trattorie and enoteche (wine bars) don’t always have coffee machines.

Pay for your coffee at the bar register before heading to the bancone (counter) to have your order made. The barista will always happily have a chat, but this is not a leisurely affair. It’s social, yes, but you should have your coffee and then get out.

DON’T ...

Aperol spritz – an aperitivo, not an accompaniment to a meal.Credit: iStock

Don’t order an Aperol spritz with your meal. This now-seen-everywhere cocktail is for aperitivo, before dinner or even after, but is not meant to match your pizza and pasta.

Don’t have pizza and pasta together. Ever. These are discrete meals and not to be eaten in the same sitting.

Don’t ask for cheese when you’re eating pasta with seafood. Unless the dish comes with cheese or it’s offered to you, it means it can do without.

Don’t ever cut your pasta. Unless it’s, say, a large lasagne or cannelloni. Short pasta and especially spaghetti shouldn’t have a knife in sight. You can use a spoon to help twirl your spaghetti, but most Italians do without and leave spoons for kids.

Never order pizza and pasta together.Credit: Getty Images

Don’t order a cappuccino with food unless it’s breakfast. The problem is less about what time it is and more what you’re mixing it with. It is inconceivable to an Italian to have a lasagne followed by a big, frothy milk drink. In their view, it will ruin digestion: a no-no. Caffe (espresso) or a caffe macchiato (espresso with a dash of milk) is the go-to at any time.

Don’t expect a big breakfast. Hotels will serve up American-style breakfast with eggs and other savoury dishes, but this isn’t typical for locals, who enjoy a sweet breakfast. (Note: compared with breakfast pastries from many Western countries outside the Mediterranean, Italy’s generally contain less processed sugar.) To start the day, Italians usually have a caffe or cappuccino with a cornetto (Italian croissant) or, at home, coffee with warm milk and biscuits.

Don’t ask for tap water. Unless you’re at a bar where it’s commonly served so you can cleanse your palate before a coffee. Buying water as part of your meal is the cultural norm.

On the topic of water, don’t “cin cin” with it. It’s considered bad luck and Italians are superstitious. Same goes for plastic cups. However, it is OK to clunk another plastic glass as long as you use your hand as a buffer.

An edited extract from Mangia: How to eat your way through Italy by Maria Pasquale (Smith Street Books, $49.99).