My fiance’s ex is angry I threw a party for her son

“She flipped out and said that her son deserves his own birthday party…”

It’s been five years since Lorraine* and Greg* first met. 

Immediately hitting things off, two years later, the couple welcomed a son, Matty* together and are now planning on getting hitched. 

When Greg first met his future fiancé, he had a one-year-old son, James*, from a previous fling, and from the moment he moved on to a new relationship, his child’s mother started causing issues. 

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Lorraine and Greg threw a combine birthday party for their two sons. Picture: iStock

“She said that her son deserves his own birthday party”

Lorraine and Greg’s son was born during the height of the pandemic, and as soon as the couple became engaged, Greg’s ex took away his visitation rights.

“Due to his baby mama being mad that we got engaged and had [Matty] four years ago, at that moment, she stopped letting my fiancé see [James],” explained Lorraine on Reddit.  

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“They did have FaceTime ‘visits’ during all of this [twice a] week because of [the pandemic],” she said. 

“When infant [Matty] would get on the call, she would hang it up.”

While Lorraine isn’t the biggest fan of Greg’s ex, admittedly calling her “immature” for “keeping” James away from Greg, she has never mentioned anything to her fiancé or his ex. 

“I am still respectful to her the couple [of] times I have seen her,” Lorraine said. “I don’t involve myself in their issues. I treat her son like my own, but do not try to play mum.” 

Thankfully, in the last six months, Greg has been able to change his visitation rights. He now gets to see his son “every other Saturday” and spend quality time with him and Matty. 

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The two boys, although two years apart, were born in the same week, so celebrating is usually an unusual affair. 

“My fiancé wanted to throw him a little gathering that weekend with just the grandparents and us, have some cake and presents,” she explained. “Nothing crazy, as our family is small.”

This year, however, Lorraine and Greg wanted to share the love by throwing a joint party for Matty and James. 

The couple were originally planning to throw James a solo birthday party, followed by one for Matty a week later. However, Greg’s ex “wouldn’t let [James] come over [on] his b’day weekend”, so Greg “decided to just combine their bday parties”.

In preparation for the joint birthday party, Lorraine purchased two separate birthday cakes and organised presents for each of them. The kids even got their own balloons for the occasion. 

But there was a major issue - Greg’s ex didn’t like the idea of having a joint birthday party and “flipped out” upon hearing the plans. “She said that her son deserves his own birthday party, and how dare we combine them [with] his little brother’s,” Lorraine explained. 

Despite the outcry from Greg’s ex, Lorraine and her fiancé threw the party anyway, and by all accounts, James seemed to have a “great time”. But when Greg’s ex found out the event went ahead, she complained that the idea was “dumb” and accused the couple of refusing to listen to her demands, labelling them “a**holes” for their behaviour. 

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“If both boys were into it, that's all that matters”

The Reddit community rushed to Lorraine’s side after hearing about the situation and agreed that joining the birthday parties was the logical way to go. 

“The kid enjoyed it. That's the bottom line,” someone shared. “The [ex’s] feelings being hurt are irrelevant, especially when she was personally preventing what she claims should have happened.”

Another wrote: “If both boys were into it, that's all that matters. It might even be a fun tradition going forward!”

Many argued that no matter what the outcome was, Greg’s ex would have complained. 

“She would’ve been mad if just your son had a party,” read a comment. “She probably would’ve been mad about anything, so her opinion doesn’t seem too valuable.” 

However, some cautioned Lorraine for future birthdays, as a joint party might not always work well with siblings. 

“Combined birthdays aren’t a good idea for older kids who are more invested in being their own individual person, or for kids who have really different interests,” a comment read. 

Another agreed: “As the boys get older, they may not enjoy having their birthdays together and want their own celebrations, but that’s something you’ll navigate with them.”

“If they were much older, maybe I could see her upset, but as long as the boys enjoyed their time, it shouldn’t matter,” someone added.

Originally published as My fiance’s ex is angry I threw a party for her son