My son wants me to cancel his birthday party for a girl

"It didn't even cross my mind to check this," the sad mum writes. Would you have thought of it?

Anyone who's organized a kid's birthday party will attest that there's a lot to think about.

The guest list, allergies, cost... and your child's happiness is at stake.

One mum has found herself in a situation where she's risking her son's party satisfaction, because there's one thing she won't do for him - cancel it.

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"It's apparently the first thing you check"

The mum writes: 

"Son turning 11 and we decided to splash out this year as he got such a glowing school report and seems to have a very good social life.

"We booked activities and a sports hall, cinema tickets and a restaurant. And paid for it all."

But as every parent knows, there's always something...

"I admit it may be my fault: I don't really have any relationship with the other parents and so it didn't even cross my mind to check whether anyone had booked party on same day... which apparently is the first thing you check.

"It turns out another girl had booked and paid for a party on same day and unfortunately she is devastated as all the girls have chosen to come to my son's as she is not the most popular girl.

"Now feel so awful as I've heard she's devastated. My son is mad at me demanding I cancel everything and retract all the invites and tell everyone party's off then hopefully the girls will all attend the other party.

"I've tried to explain that we have spent a fortune and there's no guarantee if we did cancel that everyone would attend the other party but he's not budging saying he is not going regardless of whether I cancel or not."

Image: iStock

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"At 11 boys attending girls' parties is unusual anyway"

Advice for the mum is deeply divided.

"Don’t cancel. At 11 boys attending girls' parties is unusual anyway," one mum controversially asserted.

Others wondered, "Can you discuss it all with him? Can you not just change your date?"

Then there was this unhelpful judgement (there always has to be one): "Surely by 11 he invites a small handful of closest friends for a couple of activities?

"This whole party sounds like overkill. I can understand the girl being annoyed if people have accepted her invite then cancelled last minute."

Some suggested a joint party, with this mum writing:

"Very awkward. It might be worth trying to make contact with the girl's parents. They might be looking at whether they can rearrange hers as well.

"Yours sounds like about three parties in one, with activities and cinema and restaurant - maybe you could drop one part so that both can happen without overlap.

"Joint might work - they might not have the budget to go halves, so you might have to explain that you've budgeted for the whole thing anyway, so not to worry about that."

One parent issued this warning: "Approach the mum and talk with her. One of mine had a birthday on the same day as a popular kid and we had the same (although theirs was booked after our invites went out so I suspect in part theirs was spite).

"If they had approached us and offered to join forces, I would have bitten their hand off."

Finally, one commenter reminded the mum 'who's in charge': "It’s nice that he cares, but why is an 11-year-old running the show? Tell him he can take three or four friends to the cinema and for pizza and be done with it."

Originally published as My son wants me to cancel his birthday party for a girl