Jana Hocking explains what a ‘f**k boy’ is and how to spot one

After a reality star was branded a “f**k boy”, Jana Hocking shares her tip for avoiding this guy and explains why we’re attracted to them.

Controversial thought … is reality TV actually helping our communication skills … and even making us better daters?

Now I’m about to lose you even further here, when I suggest that, yes, Byron Baescould possibly teach us a thing or two about healthy dating.

Now before you write me off as completely bonkers, stick with me for a second. This week my guest on the ‘Kinda, Sorta, Dating’ poddy was a cast member from Byron Baes called Nathan. You may know him as a serial reality TV contestant, as he has featured on both The Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise before making the move to Netflix.

Before meeting him I rather unfairly put him in the f**k boy category of my mind, probably because he’s called one by one of his best mates on the show.

Now for reference, the term f**k boy is defined as “a man who has many casual sexual partners”.

Generally speaking, a f**k boy will tend to say anything and everything to get a girl in bed. He’s a player who won’t commit and in some cases, he’s even a misogynist.

Women will do their best to avoid this guy because it usually results in being left heartbroken and feeling duped.

Upon meeting Nathan, he greeted me with a big warm hug and I thought ‘Yep, I know why all the girls probably swoon for you.’

Dating columnist Jana Hocking delves into the topic of ‘f**k boys’. Picture: Instagram

Wearing ripped jeans, a white linen shirt unbuttoned low to show off his Byron tanned chest and piercing blue eyes, it was easy to see why he is a casting agents dream.

Like me, he was a chatterbox so it made for a really fun podcast chat, but it got me thinking … are guys like him really ‘f**kboys’ or is their confidence just intimidating.

Sitting in front of me was a guy I just know would have no real qualms going up to a girl in a bar and saying howdy. In fact, I think on any given night he could make a girl swoon with his good looks and fun vibes. But does that charm make you a player or are some people just gifted with confidence.

Now don’t get me wrong, the guy is clearly having a brilliant time lapping up all the benefits that came with reality TV fame, so I got the vibe he is in no rush to settle down. But what is it about these guys that make girls take on the challenge.

You see, I’ve dated guys like him before. The loudest one at the party, making people laugh, and being thoroughly entertaining. Deep down, if we’re honest with ourselves, we know they aren’t looking for anything long term and yet we throw ourselves into it with gusto.

When things inevitably go south, we’re often heartbroken, but can’t deny the signs were there from the start – we just decided to take up a challenge that was never really on the table.

So I ask the question … are they terrible guys, or are we just blinded by lust and a need to make them ours?!

Nathan Joshua Favro was branded a one during his stint on season one of Byron Baes. Picture: Instagram

Now back to my original point … Later on in our chat, we were discussing what it’s like filming a reality show, and Nathan explained that unlike in real life, if someone pissed you off, you would internalise it, and attempt to let it go.

However, due to the dramatics of reality TV, you’re often gently prodded by a producer to address your annoyance with the person it has come from.

We laughed at the fact it’s probably a really healthy way to deal with life’s daily dramas. Rather than stew on it, why not have a frank chat and sort it out.

Now when it comes to spotting a “f**kboy” in the wild, could this reality tit bit actually be something we could use to spot them and avoid wasting our time?

Rather than ignore the red flags, these include love bombing and gaslighting, should we do what any good reality TV producer would do, and confront our love interest and ask them directly?

Stereotypical ‘f**k boys’ use tactics such as ‘love bombing’ and ‘gaslighting’ to win over women, Jana argues.

Sure you may not like what they have to say in response, but it’s still got to be better than holding on to hope and ignoring the red flags.

Being forced to have just one awkward chat, can resolve a whole heap of issues. Whodda thunk it?

Perhaps this open communication when something bothers you ‘thing’ is the way of the future?! Especially in relationships. Something to ponder on …

Jana Hocking is a podcaster and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking