Jana Hocking on the toxic nature of relationship ‘receipts’

Podcaster Jana Hocking thought she’d had a fun night – but then she got an angry phone call that led to five “awful” years.

When it comes to gossip and relationships, is it wise to tell many people what you’re up to in the sack or otherwise? I head something this week that made me realise it’s best not to share too much – especially in writing.

On my Kinda Sorta Dating podcast I spoke to Megan Pustetto, former gossip columnist and host of So Dramatic! podcast. She talked about the juicy tea she gets given regularly on reality TV stars, including full of details about their dating and sex lives.

As much as I enjoyed the juicy gossip, I walked away from our chat a little wary about two things:

1. Turns out exes have no shame in spilling all on their former lovers if it means exposing them for, perhaps, the dirty scum bags they once were. So be nice.

2. These days there’s a thing called ‘receipts’ and they really can be used against you later in life.

Jana Hocking enjoyed a juicy gossip about exes who spill on their former lovers. Picture: Instagram.

For those of you who are not aware of what the term ‘receipts’ mean in a dating / scorned lover sense, it means, any form of evidence that can be used against you when you break up. For example, say your partner goes through your phone and finds saucy messages you’ve sent to someone else. Should they then screenshot those texts and send them to themselves, well then they have what’s known as receipts.

Trust me, you don’t want someone having receipts on you. Especially if you plan on going on a reality TV show later down the track.

I came across a meme the other day that summed up this advice perfectly. It said: “Dance like no one is watching, but text and email like it will be read out in court one day.”

It got me thinking though, it’s not just people planning on having their 15 minutes of fame who should be careful about how they act against another. Being a bit of a douche bag can come back to bite all of us on the butt. Trust me, I know.

About 10 years ago, I was in my early twenties and far too immature for my age. New to Sydney, I treated it like my playground. I would go out late, make out with whoever I fancied and miraculously turn up for work the next day only slightly hungover. I was young and carefree, until it came back to haunt me.

Jana Hocking was carefree until it came back to haunt her. Picture: Instagram.

You see, on one of my many adventures I decided to turn my attention to a man who was giving me big ol’ puppy dog eyes. We kissed, exchanged numbers and then off I danced to the nearest McDonald’s with my friends for a late-night cheeseburger to soak up all the cheap chardonnay.

I thought all was fine and dandy until I got a very angry call from a woman the next day proclaiming to be his girlfriend. She. Was. Mad.

As we’ve all been guilty of doing, she went through his phone the next morning and saw our, “So great to meet you, we should do it again” texts and saw red!

Now in my defence I didn’t know he had a girlfriend, however I still felt pretty rotten, and she was certainly not in a forgiving mood. All would have been fine and well, except turns out we both worked in the same field of work and would run into each other from time to time. Oh, and I should mention that they stayed together, so not only did I bump into her, I also bumped into him. Cringe.

There is nothing more petrifying than the cold hard stare of a scorned woman from across the room. I speak from experience from both sides of the fence.

The other problem was … she had receipts! Yep, she would regularly show people the text message I had sent her boyfriend, resulting in multiple people then staring at me coldly across the room. That darn receipt followed me around like a creepy ex boyfriend for the next five years of my career. Awful.

So let my mistake be a lesson. Before you text, call or put ANYTHING in writing to a potential love interest, ask yourself: Would I be comfortable with this being read out in a courtroom … or more importantly … a party full of judgy mcjudgersons?

No. Then put the phone down and go make better life decisions. You’re welcome.

Jana Hocking is a podcaster and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking