James Weir recaps The Bachelorette Australia 2021 episode 7

This reality star has wowed everyone with a sexy dress — and risked a near wardrobe malfunction at The Bachelorette mansion.

The Bachelorette mansion goes into meltdown on Wednesday night when Brooke makes a glamorous entrance wearing a racy dress with a thigh split that soars higher than the shows ratings.

That’s probably not a good comparison. After all, the ratings are incredibly low. It doesn't take much to beat them. There are nuns habits with thigh splits that are higher than The Bachelorette’s viewership numbers. But maybe tonight’s racy dress will change that.

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Why aren’t viewers tuning in? It’s impossible to pin down. Though it probably doesn’t help that the dates resemble old episodes of Changing Rooms.

Chic, demure, understated.

This show would just be lost without Osher. He’s the steady hand that can guide it through a ratings storm. And he looks particularly great tonight:

He hasn’t aged a day.

There’s a really fun game you can play with The Bachelorette and it goes like this: turn down the volume and don’t pay attention to anything that’s happening. Then just look up at random intervals to see out-of-context moments.

Swear to god, I played this game by myself and – for like, five minutes – I thought I’d accidentally flicked on Pretty Woman and it was that scene where those judgy sales assistants don’t let Julia Roberts shop.

‘Big mistake. Big. HUGE.’

Admit it: You’re only here for the thigh-high split. Well, here it is.

When it comes time for the cocktail party, Brooke struts out onto the patio and makes her grand entrance with the sexy dress. It kinda feels like a missed opportunity that she doesn’t do a high kick.

The crowd goes nuts. It’s like they’ve never seen a leg before.

“HOLY SH*T!” one guy yells as the others whoop.

“Brooke is looking el fuego. Wow. She looks absolutely breathtaking,” one of the girls gushes.

Kablamo.

Kapow.

“That’s something else. That’s probably her best look yet,” this guy drools while trying not to explode.

*squeals*

Brooke struts on over to the group — that one leg kickin’ out in the breeze — and grabs Holly for a chat. They spend the next eight minutes proving yet again that we should just jump straight to the finale, where they’ll end up together.

The winner’s already decided, why are we still here?

It’s a fun night of frivolity and everyone’s having a gas. Except Jamie-Lee. The girl is deflated. She hasn’t even had the energy to wash her hair.

She’s blue. And pink. But mostly blue.

She has been in a panic for days since last week’s drama about her rumoured flirtatious friendship with that guy Ryan. Even though she tried clearing the air with Brooke at the previous cocktail party, she feels there’s still damage to be repaired. So she does the sensible thing and instigates another confrontation.

“I know there were questions you had revolving around my friendship with Ryan,” she frantically explains after dragging Brooke into a dark corner of the garden. “It was purely a friendship between Ryan and me. I’m sorry you had to deal with all this crap. You are my sole reason for being here.”

Is it enough to save her? Well, it’s around now we tune out and play our game again. By the time we look back up, all we see is Jamie-Lee getting the final rose and then this out-of-context image.

Some things are better off without explanation.