James Weir recaps SAS Australia 2022 episode 4

TV’s celebrity feud has escalated with the two stars at the centre now just being trolled. James Weir recaps.

The celebrities continue to be tortured on SAS Australia.

Producers on SAS Australia try their hardest to calm the ongoing feud between two of the show’s celebrities on Monday night by hosing them with pepper spray and letting chaos ensue.

Using the word “humiliating” to describe events that occur on this show just seems redundant. It’s like saying water is wet. By now, it’s just a known fact that every moment on SAS Australia is designed to embarrass its ragtag troupe of media personalities.

The real newsworthy moment would be if these people were shown a moment of respect and dignity. But will we stop reporting on the humiliation? No. Because seeing celebrities get set on fire and then hosed down with pepper spray will always be funny.

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The feud between serial reality star Locky Gilbert and comedian Pauly Fenech rages on. It kicked off last week when one called the other the C-word and then threats of headbutting were made.

Clearly, these two can’t tolerate each other. It’d be wise to keep them apart for the rest of the competition.

But this show isn’t about being wise. It’s about tormenting celebrities for our own personal enjoyment.

So the producers troll the boys and pair them together for tonight’s task. What’s involved? It’s real complicated, so pay attention. The soldiers blast the boys in the face with pepper spray and then they have to try open a padlocked box to access a bottle of water that will help ease the blinding pain they’re in.

Ready … Aim … Fire!

Gold Logie 2022.

Crank it.

Hope you brought some Visine.

You OK, doll?

Back at camp, everyone’s still in agony after the mass pepper-spraying. Locky’s at the tap, trying to rinse out his eyes when Pauly comes running over with an idea.

“Put this in your eyes,” he holds out a bottle of baby shampoo that’s being passed around the camp site.

Locky scrunches up his face at the suggestion. “Baby shampoo in my eyes?”

Pauly nods. “Trust me. This is the cure for everything — every crim knows this, man.”

“You sure?”

“Promise.”

Locky takes the bottle, squirts the liquid in his palms and scrubs it into his eyes until it comes to a lather.

Approximately five seconds later, Locky screams. “Ugh, that’s made it bloody worse!”

Oops.

The other celebrities run to the tap, curious about the commotion.

“No, wash your hair with it! Not your eyes!” they tell Locky.

But Pauly doubles down on his misinformation. “The baby shampoo’s for your eyes, guys.”

“It’s for your hair!” the rest of the group groan.

Locky’s now hunched over in even more pain than he was before. “He told me to put it in my eyes!” he screams.

Ita Buttrose’s nephew, convicted cocaine dealer Richard Buttrose, shakes his head. “Nah, put water in your eyes. The shampoo’s for your hair.”

And Richard should know. He’s a crim.

Thanks to the baby shampoo misinformation, producers have well and truly escalated the feud between Locky and Pauly now. But can we kick it up a notch?

A surprise midnight inspection sees Pauly arrive at the parade square two minutes late. It means everyone’s punished with a brutal beasting circuit.

“I hate stupidity,” we hear Locky say.

And when Pauly can’t do 10 push-ups, everyone’s punished more. It’s the final straw for Locky.

Afterwards, he begins his campaign to turn the rest of the camp against the comedian.

“I just can’t work with him,” he mutters to the others.

And with those famous last words, we look forward to the producers pairing Locky with Pauly for each and every remaining task.

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