Deadline: Owner of severed finger on Glenroy nature strip found

Did it get lost in a brutal fight involving a machete or belong to a torture victim who refused to spill the beans? The owner of the finger found on a Glenroy nature strip has been tracked down.

The smart money is on a tangle with lawnmower being behind the lonely finger found on the Prospect St nature strip.

Mark Buttler and Andrew Rule with the latest scallywag scuttlebutt.

Missing the point

The mystery of the Glenroy finger has been partially resolved.

Back in December, police made a public appeal for help to find the owner of a lonely severed digit found on a Prospect St nature strip.

Did the body part belong to some crime victim, gruesomely tortured but staunchly refusing to say what they knew?

Was it removed in some kind of brutal fight involving machetes and meat cleavers?

Well, police have since found the owner and have revealed it had not come off in an act of violence.

Specifically how it was removed remains a question they have chosen to clarify so it’s time to crank up the imagination again.

A mower accident has come out on the top line of betting.

Then again, there’s an absent-minded operator from Melbourne’s legal community who once lopped off a finger by dropping a trailer on it.

His ordeal was compounded when, after arriving at hospital, he was asked why he had not brought in the severed finger so it could be reattached.

Willi streets of fear

Folk in Williamstown and neighbouring suburbs would have good reason to be on their toes of late.

Ice cream shops, a cafe and a panel shop are among some of the businesses that have been firebombed in recent months as the area has emerged as something of a battleground for gangland factions.

Now, Deadline has obtained video of frightening scenes unfolding before shocked onlookers in a Willi street last weekend.

The footage shows the moment a black van, Metallica blaring, pulled over abruptly on North Rd where its side door suddenly slid open and two burly men wearing balaclavas jumped out.

They had a target in mind, grabbing a bloke as he walked with a woman and another man.

Their outnumbered quarry squirted water from a plastic bottle in a feeble attempt at resistance but was no match for the captors, who wrestled him into the van and drove off.

Could this have been the latest chilling episode in Melbourne’s fiery tobacco wars?

As it happens, the answer is no and the shocked witnesses — and plenty were driving past or eating breakfast at the nearby Pint of Milk cafe — can rest easy.

Apparently, it was the beginning of a buck’s turn and this was just the beginning of a day’s debauchery.

We can report he was returned safely, though a big second-hand, many hours later.

Just as well no one rang the police. The “victim” works for them.

Armed and ready for action

A police press release recently carried routine news of the arrest of a bloke in Melbourne and the seizure of weapons at his house.

It appears from that material that the gentleman concerned was also keen to make sure he could still fire shots in other areas, like the bedroom.

Mentioned was the confiscation by VIPER taskforce officers of two boxes of something called Kamagra jelly.

Curious about why police would seize this bloke’s dessert, we threw the name into a search engine.

It turned out Kamagra jelly is not something you eat but an Indian treatment for erectile dysfunction.

The Melbourne bloke arrested last week was no hardened criminal.

Unfortunately for our man, the Therapeutic Goods Administration has deemed it a banned substance in Australia.

We wish we could be mature enough to refrain from labouring decades-old gags about hardened criminals.

Alas, unlike appendages, some jokes never get old.

Kirribilli agreeable, says investigator

This column has spies everywhere – even at the Prime Minister’s joint.

That’s why we can report that a former rough-and-tumble Melbourne detective was recently spotted at Kirribilli House, knocking back beers and feeding his face at a star-studded shindig hosted by Anthony Albanese.

A night out at the PM’s Sydney residence was certainly a long way from his days as a teenage abattoir worker.

Back then, his idea of sophistication would have been a frosty pot at the old Doutta Galla Hotel in Flemington.

“Albo put on a pretty good spread,” he was later heard to remark to an associate.

Runaway groom allegedly on fire

Not much has been heard of Murat Shomshe since he bailed on his new wife while on bail in 2015.

He became big news when police revealed they were looking for him after he disappeared straight after the big day.

Mr Shomshe eventually turned up safe and sound.

But he was back in the news last week, charged by the Lunar taskforce over arson attacks linked to Melbourne’s tobacco wars.