Deadline: Melbourne’s best underworld nicknames

People can say what they want about the media, but it serves at least one vital function for society … by helping give nicknames to high-profile scoundrels and scallywags.

Ice cold gangland killer Rodney “The Duke” Collins makes Melbourne’s best crook nickname list.

People can say what they like about the media, and they do, but it serves a vital function in society … by helping police and criminals give nicknames to high-profile scoundrels and scallywags, for a start.

Nicknames have always been at a premium in the outlaw sector of the black economy.

There might be people out there who might have not known Mark Brandon Read from a Darwin bookmaker — but you can bet they could pick out “Chopper” in a police line-up.

And who would bother saying “Graham Kinniburgh” when the two-syllable “Munster” moniker is so much easier to spit out?

Another big mouthful is Joseph Theodore Leslie Taylor. So much quicker to call him “Squizzy,” as every other Taylor has been in Victoria for 100 years.

So, in the interests of filling column space with a lazy summer holiday listicle, here is the A to W of Melbourne criminal nicknames. Readers are welcome to add their own contributions.

After Dark Bandits: bank robbing twins Doug and Peter Kay Morgan.

Afghan Ali: murdered underworld figure Mohammed Keshtiar

Black Prince of Lygon St: late Carlton Crew identity Alphonse Gangitano.

Badness: armed robber and escapee Christopher Dean Binse.

One of the After Dark Bandits, Douglas Peter Morgan (left).

Benji: gangland wars triggerman Andrew Veniamin.

Bluey Bob: red-haired old-school Melbourne crime identity Robert Mather.

Bluey: red-haired stone killer Gregory Brazel, son of a policeman.

Capable: underworld killer and standover man Gavin Preston, murdered last September.

Chicken Man: KFC franchisee and accused cocaine trafficker Matthew Jones.

Chopper: standover man Mark Brandon Read (see above).

Chops: Norman Leung Lee, Great Bookie Robber and not so great dim sim manufacturer.

Doc Smith: Gregory David Roberts, armed robber, musician, international jail escapee and best-selling author.

Gavin “Capable” Preston was shot dead at a Melbourne cafe last year.

Duke (The): remorseless gangland killer Rodney Charles Collins.

El Cheapo: thrifty northern suburbs drug dealer. Name adapted from Mexican narcotics tsar El Chapo.

Eyes: Crime figure Michael Pastras, who survived a 2006 shooting ambush.

Fat Tony: jailed drug baron Tony Mokbel, dubbed by notorious crime authors who doctored the image of his Ferrari number plate as an act of homage to The Simpsons’ favourite gangster.

Fat Ange: former Carlton Crew member Angelo Venditti. Acquitted of ordering the 2002 murder of Paul Kallipolitis, possibly on grounds that it was a public service.

Fat Albert: fat crook Stephen Collins, lifetime friend and bookend of fat crook Dennis “Greedy” Smith.

Frog (The): gunman Fred Harrison.

Gangland figure Frederick “The Frog” Harrison.

General (The): shared by Matthew Johnson, killer of Carl Williams, and respected fight gym operator Paul Fyfield. A showdown between the two would fill Docklands stadium.

Grandpa Harry: Aubrey Maurice Broughill, veteran armed robber found drowned with testicles missing.

Greedy Smith: lifetime fat crook and friend of Fat Albert Collins, as above.

Harry the Como: reputed triggerman and feared Middle-eastern organised crime figure, nothing to do with South Yarra mansion.

Iceman (The): Killer and right-wing nutter Phillip Grant Wilson, shot dead outside a South Yarra chiropractic clinic in 1987 after threatening to murder police. Investigation fizzled fast.

Jack The Fibber: John Warren, member of Kangaroo Gang who told his lawyers he never lied unless it was absolutely necessary.

Jenny Craig Minogue: Craig William Minogue, a.k.a. “Slim”, Russell St bomber, armed robber and rapist.

Jockey Smith: jockey turned bank robber James Edward Smith.

A Jockey Smith mugshot from the mid ‘70s.

Little Tommy: grumpy motorcyclist and convicted murderer Tom Ivanovic, friend of murdered cellmate Carl Williams.

Little Ty: influential Mongol Tyrone Bell.

Mad Dog: brilliant robber and escape artist Russell Cox, real name Melville Peter Schnitzerling. Not mad, not a dog, just named that way by sly crime reporter.

Munster: painter and docker, master safecracker and crime statesman Graham Kinniburgh, shot dead at Kew in 2003.

Mad Leb: middle eastern gangster Nabil Maghnie, murdered at Epping in January, 2020.

Mad Charlie: Charles Peter Hegyalji to his dear old Hungarian mum before sudden death in Caulfield.

Mad Max: Pavel Vasilov Marinof, alias Max Clark, shot dead in 1986 after shooting several police over several months.

Machinegun Charlie: kickboxer and heroin dealer Charlie Arnautovic.

Mr Stinky: Raymond Edmunds, double murderer and serial rapist.

Mr Stinky, aka Raymond Edmunds cut a rather pathetic figure.

Mr Death: multiple killer, heroin dealer and generally evil Dennis Bruce Allen, son of Kath Pettingill, alias Granny Evil.

Mr Cruel: totally wrong nickname for a cool, calculating, serial abductor of young girls.

No Mercy: kickboxer and fatally effective armed robber Percy Lanciana.

Nuts: Geoffrey Armour, who murdered Desmond “Tuppence” Moran at Ascot Vale in 2009.

The Octopus: alternative media-created title for Tony Mokbel but no match for Fat Tony moniker.

Postcard Bandit: Brenden James Abbott, bank robber and jailbreaker born in Melbourne northern suburbs.

Punisher (The): kickboxer and middle eastern organised crime figure Sam Abdulrahim, who survived a cemetery hit at Fawkner in 2022.

Sam “The Punisher” Abdulrahim has got plenty of press in recent years after surviving an assassination attempt.

Rent-A-Kill: Christopher Dale Flannery, vanished in 1980s while a suspect for multiple murders.

Red Rat: Roy Pollitt, robber, inept hitman and jailhouse artist, deported to UK. No loss.

Russian (The): lunatic standover man Nik Radev was Bulgarian but Russian sounded better in the papers.

Skitzo: prominent Hells Angels bikie Peter Hewat.

Squizzy: Taylor. See above.

Melbourne underworld legend Leslie “Squizzy” Taylor.

Texan (The): Billy Longley, painter and docker, gunman, ballroom dancer and mastiff fancier.

Tuppence: Desmond Moran, murdered at Ascot Vale in 2009 on orders of his sister-in-law Judy Moran.

Victor the Inflicter: cannot elaborate for legal reasons.

White Devil: former Comanchero Josh Faulkhead is said to have earned the nickname while serving as an army sniper in Afghanistan.

Durry in a hurry

The state’s illicit tobacco trade is reputedly a boon for those in Melbourne’s gig economy.

Deadline hears that some ride-share drivers are making good coin ferrying deliveries of illegal product to an eager clientele.

Some entrepreneurial types even cash in on smokers’ need for flexibility by working around their busy schedules. These enterprising operators are visiting worksites with vans jam packed with dodgy darts for nicotine-addicted tradies.

Nudie run that lives on

Some one-hit wonders are destined never to be forgotten.

Keen and/or desperate punters following Gawler races in South Australia on Saturday would have seen a five-year-old gelding called Aitch D’Amico run second early in the meeting.

There’s no doubt the horse is named in honour of Helen D’Amico who put in a big run of her own 41 years ago — on a lightning fast track at the MCG.

That was on grand final day when the American-born stripper disrupted the 1982 VFL “Granny”, streaking to 15 minutes of fame wearing nothing but a Carlton scarf.

She was working blue, as comedians used to say. Bruce “the Flying Doormat” Doull was not impressed.