Deadline: Keyboard warrior regrets Toby Mitchell claim at CFMEU rally

During the CFMEU protests, a man made some social media comments about Toby Mitchell which he very quickly appeared to regret.

Melbourne’s top crime writers, Andrew Rule and Mark Buttler, with the latest scallywag scuttlebutt.

TOBY IN THE SORRY BUSINESS

It’s probably best to count to 10 before going on social media about a bloke like Toby Mitchell, lest there be another kind of 10-count.

During the volatile CFMEU-vax-lockdown-right-winger protests a few weekends ago, one chap made some online comments about Mitchell, which he appears to have soon regretted.

It’s unclear exactly what was said, but Mitchell last week posted a clarification from the fellow on his Instagram page, tagging in fellow Mongol notables including Sam “The Punisher” Abdulrahim.

The short video by the original poster said he had been told stories by mates about biffo at the CFMEU rallies, which had led to intemperate online comments.

In his apologetic address to camera, the crestfallen keyboard warrior said Mitchell had “squashed” the scenario suggested by those comments.

“We need all you guys to relax and stop talking shit because you’re going to make a problem a really big problem,” he said with much conviction and sincerity.

“The bloke wasn’t there. That’s his word. What was said wasn’t warranted.”

It’s a wise man who admits he’s wrong.

Toby Mitchell set the record straight on his Instagram page. Picture: Rob Leeson

MONEY SOOTHES SAVAGE BREAST

It is many centuries since a playwright turned the famous line about music soothing the savage breast. But it looks as if money works OK, too.

An uneasy peace has broken out following the brouhaha over an underwhelming “boob job” involving a firm run by Melbourne-based Ultra Tune boss and racing identity Sean Buckley.

Buckley is a feisty character and attracts plenty of knockers but he knows a chance to pour oil on troubled waters when he sees it.

Which is why former Gold Coast stripper Haylee Baxter won’t have to repay $14,000 she owed for breast augmentation funded by Surfers Paradise adult venue Toybox Showgirls.

The connection is that Toybox is run by a company called NRA, of which Buckley is a director.

The curvaceous Baxter had been under threat of bankruptcy over the 2019 debt, which was to be repaid at $390 a month.

Haylee Baxter and Charlie Sheen. Picture: Facebook

Baxter had been under threat of bankruptcy. Picture: Instagram

But now, according to the Gold Coast Bulletin, bankruptcy proceedings over the matter have gone the way of whalebone corsets.

Lawyer Ian Hone, speaking on Buckley’s behalf, has pronounced “The proceedings are resolved.”

It could be that Buckley is feeling generous because his Cox Plate winner Shamus Award is now one of the hottest stallions in captivity.

Apart from other successes in the breeding barn, Shamus is daddy of the freak Toowoomba galloper Incentivise, who is shaping as the banana benders’ greatest export since Vo Rogue and possibly Cathy Freeman.

Ms Baxter has declined to comment on her apparent win.

She wasn’t so shy in the past, when she confessed to wishing she’d never had the surgery because she “liked my old ones better”.

BETTER BREAD THAN DEAD

He’s a high-profile prisoner renowned for his hunger strikes, but also for a lack of resolve in the face of adversity.

A while ago this fellow was carted off to hospital, seemingly in all sorts of trouble after going on a starvation diet to advance one of his many causes.

It turned out that a little snack was just what the doctor ordered.

When he arrived under heavy guard, our man’s determination to stay strong, or at least hungry, crumbled at the sight of a hospital sandwich.

“I’m here now. I might as well eat,” he said of his instant dietary adjustment.

Hunger strike quelled by a sanger, he went straight back to the clink.

White bread is so much better than being brown bread.

RIEWOLDT SCORES RIGHT IN FRONT

Former Channel 7 newsman Dean Felton met plenty of famous faces in his career on the road.

Riewoldt scored a kerb-side bargain. Picture: Michael Klein

He added another recently while helping his in-laws put out unwanted items for hard rubbish collection.

A familiar-looking fellow appeared at the front gate, right between the posts, to express an interest in a treadmill no longer in working order.

“I’ve got a bit of experience programming them so I might take it, if you don’t mind,” said the stranger.

It was only then that Felton twigged that the down-to-earth bloke with an eye for value and Mr Fixit skills was Richmond superstar Jack Riewoldt.

Felton, now corporate affairs boss at Bupa Villages and Aged Care, said on social media that one thought struck him as he helped load the machine into Riewoldt’s truck.

It was this: “If there’s one bloke in Melbourne you’d think would be okay for fitness equipment …”

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RHYMES WITH SHOOTING

An amateur sleuth with an eye for detail has come up with the following fact: Roberta Williams, then the ever-loving wife of Carl Williams, gave birth to her daughter Dhakota 268 days after the night Mark Moran was shot dead in Aberfeldie on June 15, 2000.

A time gap, the sleuth notes, that is exactly the average gestation time for human beings.

The sleuth’s question, relayed to Deadline verbatim, is this: “Did Roberta and Carl do the hanky panky on the night Mark was shot?”

Roberta, if you’re reading this, could you just text Y or N?

Mark Moran lays dead in his ute outside his Aberfeldie home.

BACK ON THE JUNK

What’s the worst thing you could do after being arrested in a blaze of publicity for drug-related offending?

Surely dealing drugs in the street would be right up there.

Sadly, that’s the case with a familiar face whose wig is worse than Tony Mokbel’s, according to a strategically placed source.