Deadline: High flyer’s northern suburbs party gives new meaning to Melbourne’s white night

He’s a smooth-talking, ambitious fellow whose annual get-together in Melbourne’s northern suburbs lets political, business and media guests mingle in what might be called a stimulating environment.

Some of Melbourne’s best and brightest can be found mingling at the annual shindig with an atmosphere that might be described as highly stimulating.

Andrew Rule and Mark Buttler with the latest scallywag scuttlebutt.

White is right

He’s a smooth-talking, ambitious fellow with an eye on high office.

Our man also has a reputation as the gracious host with the most, though not in a way that he’d really like to be made known publicly.

Apparently, one annual get-together he holds is quite the social highlight for the cool set in the northern suburbs.

It could be described as a very white shindig for affluent blue bloods of politically pink persuasion.

Guests from the political sphere, the business community, media types, legal figures and a host of other influential players enjoy the hospitality in what might be described as a stimulating environment.

Something between a Seven network event for expendable political hacks and a Melbourne Football Club bucks party.

If only those Central American villagers who toil away in the fields to provide fuel for the big night could know the happiness they bring the high flyers.

Up the workers!

Ex-police cop Beaumaris bashings

Beaumaris ought to be about as safe as a fashionable bayside suburb can be. It isn’t.

Highly quotable Bayside resident Bec Judd came out swinging at the weekend about the number of attacks, thefts and home invasions in Beaumaris and nearby postcodes.

Judd, famous for wearing very little to the Brownlow with the former footballer she sleeps with, is voicing the concerns of many citizens about the apparent brazen offences committed by rogue teenagers.

She was referring specifically to a 65-year-old man being rushed to hospital last Friday night after being attacked by a group of teenagers he chased when he spotted them attempting to steal from his car.

The victim was attacked at the corner of Reserve Rd and Agnes St after confronting the alleged offenders. Three teenagers were arrested before being released without charge following the attempted theft and assault.

Now police and ex-police circles are buzzing with strong rumours that the victim is a former policeman — and that he is the second ex-cop to be seriously bashed in exactly the same area.

A “run through” of an ex-detective’s home a few weeks ago left the victim in hospital from a vicious bashing that his wife avoided by hiding in a wardrobe. Strangely, nothing was taken in the attack.

Police know all about it because the unhappy couple’s son is reputedly a sergeant at Prahran police station.

By total and genuine coincidence, all this happened close to the home of an unusual hospitality and security industry figure known as Jamal Khan, formerly Jamal Mohammad.

This livewire character, a Pakistani national, got to run the security at Crown Casino’s nightclub, Mercury, before branching out on his own — notably with the flashy and once-fashionable Waterfront Port Melbourne restaurant on Station Pier.

Jamal has hit the headlines for months with his war-of-words with Carlton Crew identity Mick Gatto, who in happier times was the sort of diner seen living it up in Waterfront Port Melbourne, now closed.

Jamal claims Gatto owes him $4m and has initiated proceedings in Melbourne Magistrates Court. Gatto says Jamal is a “fruitloop” who doesn’t know to quit while he’s ahead.

Mick Gatto and Jamal Khan in happier times

This frank character assessment hasn’t stopped Jamal doing some odd things. One former policeman has sent us a picture of what he says is Jamal’s front gate at 3 Agnes St, Beaumaris.

Someone has parked a car sideways inside the gate as if to repel invaders, and appears to have fitted it with a mocked-up device perhaps meant to resemble a rocket launcher.

Maybe the resident at number 3 doesn’t like teenage gangs. Or maybe it’s all the disgruntled former employees Jamal Khan has had over the years.

For what it’s worth, some media reports suggest that Jamal Khan also has a luxury penthouse in Port Melbourne.

Drone idea up in the air

Some interesting suggestions have emerged in and about the cash-in-transit industry, which seems as endangered as the orange-bellied parrot.

A recent union update doing the rounds of Armaguard staff said the company was looking at introducing drone technology as part of a move towards single-person crewing.

The bulletin did not make it clear how it was proposed this would work but it has certainly raised eyebrows in the company’s workforce.

No one, from either the company or the union, was particularly keen to talk to Deadline when we got in touch.

The TWU played a dead bat, saying safety and security were big priorities but that it was unaware of any drone proposal.

“Cash-in-transit is one of the most dangerous industries in road transport, which is why it is critical that the settings are right,” a union spokeswoman said.

Armaguard, which is facing significant financial headwinds at the minute, declined to comment. Funny that: a company that ferries around millions of bucks seems to be desperately short of the folding stuff.

The other idea allegedly floated was a back-to-the-future plan to bring back dye bombs. They were once a commonly used device designed to explode in the event of a robbery, ruining the thieves’ booty by saturating cash (and thieving hands) with a violently green liquid.

One source said the bombs were phased out long ago because of their tendency to explode randomly — ruining cash even when there hadn’t been a robbery.

Maybe a better bomb has been developed. It worked for mouse traps.

Cold the Armaguard van and guards be about to go the way of the VCR. Picture: Nikki Short

Good corporate citizens

Bit of a rebrand for a western suburbs smoke shop chain recently with the banning of vapes.

Its distinctive capital letter street signage shows SMOKE N VAPE if now known as SMOKE N.

We can only assume this is because the business is abiding by the new laws.

After all, it wasn’t that long ago that one such outlet attracted intense police scrutiny amid a massive seizure of tobacco, packaged cigarettes and vapes.

Bruce back fur more

It seems former state Labour MP Bruce Mildenhall is a True Believer … in the Apple Watch.

Deadline was watching the footy recently when the ex-member for Footscray unexpectedly bobbed up in a fancy advertisement plugging the technology’s virtues.

Mr Mildenhall, a keen cyclist, recounted a nasty smash he had at Mount Macedon three years ago when he hit a kangaroo.

The 70-year-old grandfather was coasting down the mountain when there was a sudden “wall of fur.”

While he’d been out to it, the watch had apparently detected his fall, called for help and alerted his wife.

The first thing he could recall was the his wife’s voice at the hospital.

He recalls her asking “Have you got Bruce Mildenhall in there? Is he alive?”

Obviously, he was. And he recovered well enough to spread the good word about the Apple Watch.

Meanwhile, he says, “I’m still looking for that kangaroo with the tyre marks.”

There’s no indication in the ad of his political background, which involved 14 years in Parliament up to 2006.