Inside AFL players’ top-secret gambling rehab sessions with counsellor Jan Beames

From emotional breakdowns to the revelation of troubled pasts, counsellor Jan Beames has seen and heard it all. But what this AFL player revealed about his gambling addiction left the seasoned therapist flabbergasted.

On an antique armchair in a small room in her East Melbourne office, an AFL player was talking and Jan Beames was flabbergasted at what she was being told.

“I had a player — and this is not uncommon — who had lost a million dollars and he said to me he was good at gambling,’’ she said.

“I said: ‘Are you telling me you think you’re good at gambling and you’ve lost a million dollars?’

“It was like the penny had dropped. He kept believing he was good. What happens is, they start gambling and they can’t stop.

“The worst thing that happens is they win and they get all that adrenaline.

“I had young players start betting in Hong Kong and Singapore, they had no idea about the front or back of the horse, it’s everything just to bet.’’

Multiple AFL stars credit their recovery to counsellor Jan Beames.

David Schwarz was among Jan Beames’ clients. Picture: Hamish Blair

Mrs Beames knows her sport — her uncle was celebrated Australian cricket all-rounder and St Kilda footballer Keith Miller and her father-in-law was Percy Beames, a triple-premiership winner at Melbourne, first-class cricketer and journalist.

As a gambling counsellor, she is currently working with six players and has had 50 on her books, as well as swimmers, runners, rowers and basketballers.

Former Demons star and ex-gambling addict David Schwarz — whose last bet was a $2500 wager placed on the day of his son’s christening — has credited his recovery to her.

Essendon forward Jake Stringer, who reportedly lost more than $100,000, also thanks Mrs Beames for saving him in her book Exiting The Gambling Addiction.

“As well as sorting out my gambling, she helped me resolve other areas of my life. This got me out of my depression,” Stringer said.

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Essendon’s Jake Stringer also credits Jan Beames for saving him from his gambling addiction. Picture: Michael Klein

Now Mrs Beames and her husband Colin, a corporate psychologist and co-author of the book, want an overhaul of the current anti-gambling program run by the AFL Players Association.

“I see players who have anxiety problems and anxiety is underneath a lot of the gamblers,’’ she says.

“If you heard some of the stories, you’d be alarmed, you’d be very distressed.

“Some of these players are going to leave with nothing — and I mean nothing.’’

She sees players individually and sometimes the player and their partner.

The partner is often angry at the initial session because that is when they first learn the extent of the problem.

“It’s not only players, but anyone who gambles, will tell you when they are being honest and have decided to look at their life, they feel so much shame about all the lies they’ve told,’’ she said.

“They’ll ring up their managers and say, ‘I’ve got a traffic fine’ because they want more money.

One player shared his past experience of domestic violence with Jan Beames. Generic image

“Until they’re prepared to really face their demons about gambling, often they will minimise how much they are gambling. That’s a form of lying.”

She has had countless players, from up to 10 clubs, break down sitting on the antique chair.

“They break down, they get angry. I’ve had players tell me stuff they say they’ve never told anyone before as part of their healing, to clear it, deal with it and resolve it so they can move on.’’

One player told how his alcoholic father used to bash him and his mum, prompting him to rebel against authority and leading to his gambling.

Another player would start games well and then fizzle out, leaving his coaches perplexed as to why.

It was eventually revealed that he was having flashbacks during the game of how much money he had lost during the week.

Another player was out of form, suddenly found form and the media was lauding his turnaround.

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“He and I used to have a chuckle. He’d say, ‘You and I know why I’m playing a lot better’,’’ Mrs Beames said.

“A lot of players don’t play to their potential because of gambling. Even though they might not be thinking about it, it’s there all the time, and it’s a massive burden to carry.’’

Another player sat in the chair on the Friday afternoon before playing in Round 11.

“The past couple of weeks he hasn’t been playing great, but I think he did okay,’’ she said, adding she is a type of coach for players.

“I try to get them up for the game as well, I’ve got little techniques … they’ve got a resource.’’

She watches all her players.

“I don’t watch the whole games, but I’m interested in them doing well because I care about them,” Mrs Beames said.

Worryingly, she urges her players to tell their clubs the extent of their problems, but says they are reluctant to.

Most players are referred to her by player managers.

“A lot of times, they are frightened, they don’t want their club to know. they feel it would be used against them,’’ Mrs Beames said.

“These players are young, they might come from interstate, they’re away, they’re homesick, but they’re not game to tell anybody.’’

Mr Beames said the program must be separated from the clubs.

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“It’s a fragmented industry. Some of the player managers really don’t know how to handle gambling. They’re rolling out the money, but why are they letting these players gamble to the extent they are,’’ she said.

“There’s a duty of care there that needs to be addressed as well.

“Some player managers have a deep understanding, there’s some who have no idea. They say, ‘Why don’t you stop gambling’, without realising they have an addiction. It’s an addiction without a drug.’’

— If you or someone you know is in need help, call Lifeline on 131 114, visit lifeline.org.au/gethelp, call beyondblue on 1300 224 636 or Gambler’s Help on 1800 858 858.