A study has revealed first-time dads are failing to get mental health support

Many first-time dads feel they need to be the “rock” of the family and suppress their concerns during what is a stressful time for many couples. But there are support services available.

Dr Ian Northeast has coped pretty well with his baby daughter Grace, mainly because he shares care of her during the day with his wife Stephanie. Picture: David Caird

One in 10 men struggle to adjust to becoming a dad, but many are reluctant to admit it or get help, new figures show.

Only five per cent of callers to Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia’s (PANDA) Helpline are men, with many first-time fathers feeling they have to be “the rock” who shouldn’t make their own needs a priority.

Julie Borninkhof, the CEO of PANDA, said men say they feel a loss of identity, a lack of confidence in being a father and financial stress, among other issues.

“Stressful events like a traumatic birth or previous infertility or pregnancy loss can also affect their mental health and ability to cope,” she said.

In the period from July to December last year, 152 expecting or new dads called PANDA’s Helpline seeking support for their mental health - just five per cent of all callers.

Yet in that same six months, 630 expecting and new dads did an anonymous online Mental Health Checklist to explore their feelings and see if they need help.

“We know many men feel the pressure of living up to society’s expectations that they be ‘the rock’ and hold the family together,” Ms Borninkhof said.

“Many male callers also tell us they feel guilty about making their feelings a priority when their partner has been through the difficult physical process of pregnancy and giving birth,”

Dr Ian Northeast says he feels more useful since he started doing some night feeds and nappy changes for his daughter Grace. Picture: David Caird

Healthy Male CEO Simon von Saldern said men are often treated as a third wheel or secondary to the process of making a baby and caring for one.

“We suspect men’s health when they become fathers is sometimes being overlooked,” he said.

Healthy Male, a national government-funded men’s health organisation, is running an anonymous online survey in February asking men to talk about their experiences of becoming a father and their access to health care.

Dr Ian Northeast, 33, a chiropractor from Sandringham, has adjusted well to becoming a father to Grace, 11 months.

“Health for me was already a focus – getting my steps up, eating well and getting enough sleep - but it was harder to achieve after Grace was born,” he said.

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Sharing Grace’s care during the day and doing some night feeds and nappy changes makes me feel more useful,” he said.

“It’s lovely to be able to spend time with her.”

To access the Healthy Male survey go to healthymale.org.au/plus-paternal.