Back to school Victoria: How to mentally prepare your children
It’s one of the most difficult times of the year for a million Victorian students and their families. But don’t stress. We’ve talked to the experts to help take the pain out of returning to school.
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The school uniform shops are jam-packed and the ads for stationary supplies are clogging TV screens.
Back-to-school preparations are in full swing for almost one million Victorian students returning to school next week.
But along with books to buy and shoes to shine, parents are also faced with the prospect of getting their child in the right headspace to start the new school year, either for the first time or after a long summer break of late nights, sleep-ins and gorging on screen time.
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Psychologist Lauren Brabham, founder of child and family therapy clinic Growing Together, says the start of the school year can be full of potential anxieties for children of any age.
“They can become worried about meeting a new teacher, adjusting to the routine, not seeing their peer group, changing schools or classes ... even practical things like not knowing where the toilet is,” she says.
“Structure is important for maintaining calmness in a lot of kids, and adults, and the new school year is full of change.”
So how can you address your child’s anxieties about school and get them off to the best possible start?
Our experts share their top tips for making sure your child mentally prepared for the year ahead.
Ramp up the routine
When holidays arrive, all the regular routines often go out the window, and reintroducing them can cause all kinds of havoc.
Child behaviourist and founder of childhood behavioural consultancy Easy Peasy Kids, Nathalie Brown, recommends re-establishing night time routines at least five days before school starts to avoid any rude shocks.
“You have to start slowly, especially with teenagers who might be used to staying up late gaming or watching movies and then sleeping in during the holidays,” she says.
Gradually bring bed time forward by 15 or 20 minutes each night, and start setting the morning alarm earlier in the days leading up to the first day of term.
Regular mealtimes are also important.
“During the holidays we get used to snacking at all times of the day,” Ms Brabham adds.
“Try to reintroduce regular meals at roughly the same times as they will be eating at school.”
Plan ahead
For preps or young children starting at a new school, open conversation will be key to alleviating many of their concerns.
Ms Brabham says a good way for parents to manage kids’ expectations about school is to share stories from their own school days.
“Telling them about your own experiences, or some stories from friends, helps to normalise what they’re feeling and lets them know that they aren’t alone,” she says.
“If they are feeling anxious, create a plan to help them manage that anxiety - whether that’s putting their hand up to leave the classroom and get a drink of water or telling a teacher.”
Role-play can be a useful tool for coaching kids how to greet their peers or interact with others in the playground, and if you can, take your child up to the school before the first day so they are familiar with where things are.
For older students, particularly those going into grade seven, Ms Brown advises making sure they are familiar with new class schedules, and how to plan their workload.
“High schools run on a different cycle to primary schools, so it’s important to help them get used to a new timetable,” she says.
“Print out the timetable and help them familiarise themselves with the classes they have coming up and make the connection with any upcoming assignments.
“Get them into the habit of starting homework straight away and tackling a little bit each night so they don’t get overwhelmed with deadlines.”
Ms Brown also recommends parents avoid overscheduling their child at the beginning of the year.
“For the first term, particularly for kids going from kinder to prep and from grade six to grade seven, I advise parents to avoid after school activities - kids are exhausted,” she says.
“We’ve got to give them the best helping hand we can in that first term to set them up for the rest of the year.”
Scale down the screen time
“Screen time has a really detrimental effect on our attention span,” Ms Brabham says.
“Kids fall behind in class because they can’t concentrate and that really knocks their confidence.”
Cut back on the video games, television and social media that might have crept in over the summer, and make sure you’re leading by example.
“As parents, we have to model what we’re saying,” Brown says.
“If you’re telling your child to get off the game at 11pm while you’re sitting there scrolling through Facebook, it’s not really sending the right message.”
Check your behaviour
Finally, make sure you aren’t projecting your own anxieties onto your child.
“Children tend to bounce off the emotions and feelings in their environment, so they’ll pick up on parental anxieties,” Ms Brabham says.
“I always use the analogy of putting your own oxygen mask first, before you help others.
“Or even if you are a bit worried, just fake it ‘til you make it.”